


i still want you

by ApfelTHS



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Uchiha Sasuke, Canon Compliant, Emotional Manipulation, First Dates, First Time, Gay Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Naruto heals Sasuke, Naruto is a softie, Neji is alive, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Painful Sex, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rimming, Sasuke learns how to love, Seme Uzumaki Naruto, Slow Burn, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha, Uke Uchiha Sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 53,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27915673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApfelTHS/pseuds/ApfelTHS
Summary: After years on the road, Sasuke is back in Konoha. Consumed by his love for Naruto, the young shinobi is craving for his friend's tenderness. But something dark and mysterious has awakened inside him and won't let him live peacefully.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 115
Kudos: 299





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> So, I'm coming back with another Narusasu story, for those who had read the [previous one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27061657/chapters/66071971). This one had been a bit painful to write and it was supposed to be short... as always, it won't. I struggled a lot but I'm finally ready to publish and I hope you'll like it. We're starting rough so, read the tags! Also, I decided that my soft boi Neji was alive and Sasuke had both arms, because I can.  
> A few informations for those who aren't familiar with my work:  
> \- I'm not a native English speaker so sorry for my grammar mistakes, I'm doing my best!  
> \- I usually publish everything very quickly. The story is already written so you won't have to wait months to know what's coming next!
> 
> Enough talking, let's dive in, shall we?  
> Enjoy,  
> xx

***PROLOGUE***

It was dark. A moonless night. Stars weren’t shining either. The only source of light were Sasuke’s Rinnegan and Sharingan. The purple and red orbs were beaming into darkness, but not enough to guide him through obscurity. The truth was simple, there was nothing to guide him through, just a black pit surrounding him. He sat down, convinced that if he could focus for a moment, he would be able to knead enough chakra to build a powerful spell and create his own sun.

But his chest was empty. He couldn’t feel the familiar flow flooding around his meridians. Sasuke swallowed and opened his eyes again. There was nothing around him. Emptiness and silence. Until something caught his attention. A sound, like a subtle rattle. He turned around, trying to find the origin of the noise. But each time he moved, the sound followed him. Until he realized it was coming from him. Not from his throat but inside him. In the depth of his mind, the rattle grew louder until he could clearly hear someone breathing in his brain.

Sasuke contained a horrified scream and waited, his own breath stuck in his lungs. He waited long enough for the noise to fade. Sasuke blinked even though he was blind and swallowed his saliva with relief, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. But when he thought that the sound had vanished, the _voice_ resounded.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The orangy lights coming from the windows were beaming bright in the dark alley. All around, the shops had closed but the barbecue and bars were still open. People were coming from all over the village to enjoy a drink and a late meal. The air was chilly and Sasuke shivered when a cold breeze ran through the street. Fall was slowly settling over the Land of Fire and the air was getting more humid by the day. The young shinobi adjusted his black jacket and rearranged his dark hair to hide his purple eye and looked one last time by the window. The boys were already all here. He felt his heart pound heavier in his chest and thought to walk away for the hundredth time. But he had promised he would come and he didn’t want to break his commitment to _him_.

Sasuke entered and took off his shoes, greeted by the lady from the restaurant. He could swear she had given him a strange look. After all, it was no secret who he was and what he had done. As he was opening his jacket, the shinobi heard the fuss behind the curtain from where he was standing and recognized the laughters from his childhood companions. Sasuke sighed again and followed the noise to the right booth. He had arrived before they could order meat but the table was already a battlefield: beers and sake bottles laid dead on the old wooden surface. All eyes turned to him when he arrived, except the blond’s ones who was turning his back to him. When he noticed everybody was looking behind him, Naruto spun and his face split with the biggest smile.

“Sasuke! You came! We were waiting for you to order!”

“Yes. And we are hungry!” Chôji shouted from across the table.

“Nonsense!” Naruto waved to shut him up and invited Sasuke to sit with them. “There’s a place next to Neji!”

Sasuke looked at the table. Neji was seated on the other side of the table. It took every effort for Sasuke not to sigh while he silently walked next to the Hyuuga. He wanted to be next to Naruto but at least, Neji was a quiet and serious guy. The brunette kneeled and tried to ignore the inquisitive looks they were all giving him. On his right, he recognized that odd guy in the green tracksuit: Rock Lee, with his big eyes and gigantic brows. The shinobi gave him a smile and handed him a beer. 

As soon as he was seated, the shouting and laughing resumed even louder than before. As always, Naruto was the center of the attention. His voice was the most sonorous, his laughter the warmest and his personality was lighting up the whole room. Sasuke regretted he couldn’t be by his side. He only came because Naruto had asked him… begged him. It had been a month since Sasuke had come back from his two years journey around the shinobi world and he had felt the need to go home. The Uzumaki was the main reason he was here.

But being in Konoha was still strange to him, uncomfortable even. Sasuke was trying to get his inner peace back, but somehow it was trickier than he thought it would be. First of all, because the Uchiha didn’t remember what it was like to be at peace. Since his return, he had not left his apartment very often and Sakura and Naruto were the only people he had seen. That morning, Naruto had knocked on his door and asked him to join the whole crew for their traditional boys night at the barbecue. No girl allowed, just young men drinking, laughing and sharing the memories they had together. Sasuke couldn’t relate, they were almost strangers to him. He had no memories to share and it was all his fault. 

He stayed silent for the first part of dinner, observing them, hearing their stories and noticing how much they’d changed but remained the same. Next to him, Neji and Lee had the kindness to explain to him some references he didn’t get and Sasuke felt something tearing his guts. He had accomplished a lot outside of the walls of Konoha, but he had turned his back on friendship and youth for it, for power. As he was chewing on a piece of greasy pork, he noticed how Shikamaru, seated at Naruto’s right, seemed close to the Uzumaki. They were exchanging knowing looks, laughing with each other, talking privately and it made Sasuke unexpectedly jealous. 

The two shinobi looked like the bestest friends and, in fact, they were. They had grown up together, fought together and now, Sasuke had heard that the Nara boy was preparing to assist Naruto in his Hokage tasks. They were complimentary: Naruto was the heart and legs, Shikamaru the head. Next to him, the blond even seemed more clever and composed. He was listening to Shikamaru’s words, drinking every thought coming out of his massive brain and making him smile with his stupid questions. 

He must have looked at him very intensely because Naruto turned his face to meet his eyes right away. Without blinking, Sasuke stared at him and tried to read what was on his mind. He suspected that Naruto was doing the same. It lasted a couple of seconds but enough for the Jinchuuriki to understand his friend wasn’t ready to join the conversation just yet. He offered him a soft smile on the corner of his mouth and turned his attention back on Shikamaru and Kiba. 

Their bellies full, the boys ordered another round of sake. Sasuke had only drunk one beer so he was feeling great, but some of the guys were already pretty tipsy. Unavoidably, the conversation shifted from kunai blades to girls. Sasuke squirmed on his pillow as the table round began. Each guy willing to was sharing a story, more or less private. Kiba was the loudest and Sasuke suspected he had a pretty big mouth. Next to him, Neji seemed to think the same.

“Kiba, always here to overdo.” He whispered next to the Uchiha who smirked. “Don’t mind them. They’re always like that when they drink.”

Sasuke took a sip of sake and stayed silent. The attention fell on Shikamaru who seemed to be the only one ready to tie the knot. Redness spreading on his face, the Nara boy was trying to avoid questions about Temari, the blond tiger from Suna. To save himself from the embarrassment, he threw the ball to Sai, who had no trouble sharing that he was getting some with Ino Yamanaka. 

“Oi! Sai! It’s my friend Ino you’re talking about!” Chôji shouted with a menacing tone. They all laughed and patted Sai in the back. But the pale-faced boy seemed to have something else up his sleeves.

“I heard Naruto-kun was pretty active too.”

“Ehhhhh?!” The Uzumaki screamed, offended.

They all cheered and shouted at the blond, except for Sasuke. The Uchiha didn’t know what he expected, but probably not that. 

“Come on, Naruto! You’ve been hiding intels for too long now.” Kiba threatened him with his fangs out. “You’re the most popular guy in the village now, you have to tell us who you’re banging!”

“I don’t want to know if it involved my cousin.” Neji said, already crossing his arms on his chest with a proud look in his icy eyes.

They all laughed again and drank some more. Sasuke tried to read Naruto’s face. Was it true? Or was it just boys’ talk? And was it him or was the air getting very hot right now?

“Naruto! You have no choice now. Share!” Shikamaru ordained him, pouring liquor in his glass again.

“Alright! Maybe… I said maybe, I have seen some...ladies.”

The guys cheered and whistled to congratulate their friend and waited for the rest of the story.

“But as a gentleman, I won’t share any details!”

“Oh come on!” The Inuzuka protested.

But inside him, Sasuke released some tension. Naruto wouldn’t share his sex life in front of everyone, or in front of him like that. He had no idea why this was such a shock for him. But he had always felt like he was the closest person to Naruto. Even when they were apart, even when Sasuke had tried to cut their bond, Naruto had stayed by his side, clinging to him like a rabid dog. And the boy was thankful for his loyalty and friendship. But now that he was back, he noticed that if Naruto was his whole world, he wasn’t Naruto’s. The future Hokage had other friends, he even had lovers. It was ridiculous to be jealous because what they were sharing was a hundred times more intense than sex… at least, that was what he was telling himself to not lose his mind.

Sensing all eyes were on him, Sasuke suddenly woke up from his cogitation and sent them a questioning glance.

“What?” That was the first word he had spoken out loud since the beginning of the evening.

“We wanted to know who you screwed when you were on the road, Sasuke.” Kiba said with a smile in his voice.

They were all scrutinizing him, even Naruto. Especially Naruto. Sasuke drank his glass and pouted with his usual arrogant scowl.

“That’s none of your business.”

“With that pretty face, Sasuke could have whoever he wanted in Konoha. I believe that was the case during his trip too!” Lee added with a dreamy look in his eyes, as if it was his next goal to achieve.

“Come on Sasuke, share a little with us!” Shikamaru added with a softer voice.

His black orb landing rapidly on each member of the gang but avoiding the blond, Sasuke sighed in annoyance.

“As I said, it is no-”

“I think what Sasuke wants to say is that he didn’t do it with anyone.”

The voice was coming from Sai. The former Anbu shinobi was looking at him with that smile Sasuke hated. He was sitting right next to Naruto, his body leaning toward the Uzumaki. _His_ friend. That was Sasuke’s place. And he had taken it from him in team seven and at the table. And now, that smart-ass was implying he was a virgin with a big, hypocritical smirk on his stupid, pasty face. Sasuke was about to deny and make him shut his mouth, but the damage was done. The boys all looked at Sai, then stared at Sasuke again. He didn’t have to look at them directly. His Rinnegan had already registered their reactions. Brows high on their foreheads, mouth balling in disbelief, none of them could believe the mighty and popular Uchiha Sasuke was - in fact - a virgin prude. Sasuke clenched his fists under the table and searched for something to say.

“Haha!” Naruto chuckled awkwardly. “I’m sure Sasuke had his reasons!”

The Uzumaki was trying to clear the air but it made Sasuke even angrier. He didn’t need Naruto to defend his masculinity.

“The only reason I’m not sharing anything with you is because I might shock your little hearts with my kinks.”

Next to him, Neji choked on his drink. They were all looking at him, speechless, before bursting into laughter. Kiba pointed at him with a thick and tanned finger:

“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint us Uchiha!”

And the discourse was out. Sasuke sighed, relieved. He had talked enough for the rest of the month. Now, all he wanted to do was go back to his empty apartment and sleep. Fortunately for him, the lady from the restaurants hurried them to pay and get out. After a long walk with the whole group, they finally separated. Sasuke welcomed the silence with much relief. But it didn’t last. As he was walking into his neighborhood, he heard the loud and quick steps of the one he could recognize in the dark. Naruto reached his side, short breathed and eyes darkened by the alcohol he had sipped the whole evening. Sasuke stopped for a couple of seconds to stare at him and silently resumed his walk.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Sasuke. Did you have fun?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“Hm.” Sasuke lied. Not that he had had a bad evening, but he was still confused about how things ended.

“The guys are a little… you know them! But they were happy to get to know you better again.”

Naruto seemed so pleased that Sasuke couldn’t help but smile. He doubted his presence had changed anything but, if for a minute, the Uchiha could pretend he was the cause of Naruto’s cheerfulness, it would warm his heart a little.

“Are you thinking about… coming to the barbecue next week too? It’s kind of a little tradition and I really think it would help if you do.”

“I don’t know Naruto. I thought it was a one time thing.”

“It could be.” He said with disappointment. “But you could also give them a chance and realise that they are your most precious assets in life. You know… friends.”

“I have friends.”

“Who? Suigetsu? Juugo? I meant in the village.”

“I have you.”

“Yes but they’re part of the village… they’re part of me. And I really would like all of the parts of me to get along.”

Naruto was hitting on Sasuke’s sensible cord. 

“I’ll think about it.”

The blond didn’t answer but Sasuke could feel him smile next to him. He was a bit tipsy and sometimes, his body bumped into him. The Uchiha wasn’t mad. It was cold outside and Naruto was warm. He had always been but the alcohol had made him feverish. Maybe that was the right time to discuss things he wouldn’t remember in the morning.

“So… is it true? What you said about… getting laid?”

“Hm...What do you mean?”

“That, you do it a lot?”

Sasuke was thankful for the darkness surrounding them and hiding the redness on his face as Naruto was scrutinizing him. He tried to look more casual than he was, hands in his pockets, nose up on the air. But maybe the slight trembling in his voice was giving him away.

“Well, I don’t know what you mean by a lot but… Let’s say I’m enjoying life.”

“With someone… in particular?”

“I… I can’t tell, that’s not very classy. There are a few girls.”

Sasuke nodded and pressed his lips together. At least, he had confirmed and wasn’t lying to him. Naruto never lied to him. Not even once. But then, he realized that he couldn’t lie to him either. And he was about to pop the questions in 3...2...1....

“And, aren’t you busy yourself, Casanova!” Naruto joked with a sincere smile on his face.

“Hm… ugh… yeah, I guess.” 

He wasn’t good at lying. 

After a minute of silence, Naruto broke the silence again, looking everywhere but on his friend.

“You know, it’s okay if you haven’t done it. I don’t care. Nobody cares.They’re just… silly boys.I bet Neji hasn’t done it, and he’s older than us!”

If Naruto was trying to reassure him, it wasn’t working. Because the only reason Sasuke was ashamed wasn’t that he never got laid. It was because jealousy was poisoning his insides. Him, who had always been the closest thing to a soulmate to Naruto, was now a side character. In every aspect.

“Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“Nothing… you just… didn’t respond.” Naruto was searching for the right words and it made him even more adorable. “I just don’t want you to think that they were mocking you or so. You’re just… I mean, you’re you and…”

“I’m me?” 

They had stopped in front of Sasuke’s building. The black-haired boy was now staring at Naruto, highlighted by the street lamp above their heads. His blue eyes looked unreal.

“Yes, you are Uchiha Sasuke. You’re beautiful, charismatic and powerful. It’s just a shock that you’re not sleeping around, with all the girls who would die for five seconds of your attention since… forever.” Naruto chuckled. "They're probably looking for every opportunity to feel as cool as you."

If only those guys knew what Sasuke felt about himself, what was the truth of his existence, they wouldn't be jealous. The Uchiha kept staring at him in silence and Naruto lost his smile, his eyes anchored in his, waiting for something to happen. The black-haired boy couldn’t care less about the girls. He just wanted Naruto to beg for his attention, as he was used to. But that was something he had to accept now. He didn’t deserve to be the center of Naruto’s world anymore. He had never deserved it, really. But now, he had to learn his place.

Even if he knew his face by heart already, he was pleased to discover it all over again every time they met. Naruto looked paler than usual because it had been raining for several days now, but he was still beautiful. Sasuke wanted to tell him that he thought that he was prettier than him. But he couldn’t. Who would say that to a friend anyway?

“I guess I didn’t have the occasion.” He finally answered.

“I can introduce you to girls, you know?”

“I don’t want your crumbs, Naruto.”

“Not like that… but I know people you would like.”

Sasuke chuckled sarcastically. There were very few things he liked and the most important was standing in front of him, confident, smiling and pretty much not interested in him.

“I’m okay, I don’t need you for that.”

“Okay. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Naruto danced a little on his feet and started walking away.

“So… I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah… maybe.”

Just before leaving him, Naruto winked at Sasuke. The Uchiha looked at his friend walking away and disappearing into darkness. He almost regretted coming back to Konoha. If he had doubted Naruto would have been waiting for him to live his life, he was far from expecting his friend would have completely evolved without him. His deepest fears were happening. Seeing Naruto happy without him dug a bigger ditch between them. Getting used to it was an obstacle as high as a mountain for the young shinobi.

Those thoughts stayed with Sasuke for three days. He was trying to sort his ideas out and stop being so affected by everything Naruto was doing. Why was he so troubled with the fact that his friend was growing up and building his own life? Seated on a tree trunk in the forest, Sasuke looked at the kunai spinning around his finger while thinking. Probably because he had no private life of his own. His existence remained around Konoha, his ninja way and… Naruto. They were both working for peace but in the Uzumaki’s mind, it meant that he could actually enjoy this hard-won peace and not always look for the next battle to fight. 

Sasuke threw the kunai that ended right on the target behind him and rubbed his eyes. He was tired of thinking about all of this. He needed time to clean the mess in his brain, so he asked the sixth Hokage to send him on a mission. There he was, gone for two weeks to bring a message to Iwagakure. Sasuke could have used his Rinnegan to travel faster, but those days allowed him to put distance between him and Naruto. 

During his trip, he had realized that his jealousy wasn’t healthy and that he had to let Naruto breathe. His friend looked so happy, flourishing with his new life and the people surrounding him… he deserved that. Sasuke wouldn’t be the one to take all that away from him. As he was sleeping under the stars on his way back, he found a certain peace when he envisioned Naruto’s well-being. The shinobi would be happy for the both of them and it would be enough. He just needed a little bit more strength to push away his desire to have him all for himself.

But that wasn’t an easy task. As soon as Sasuke came back to Konoha, Naruto was glued to his shinobi shoes. Following him around, Naruto wanted to know all about his trip and the people he had seen on the road. He asked him thousands questions to know who he’d met, as if Sasuke cared about his war companions. 

On the night he was supposed to meet the boys at the barbecue place, Sasuke stayed outside of the restaurant. He watched them again by the window. Kiba was already in a heated argument with Shino, as he always was. Shikamaru and Neji had sat together with Lee and Naruto and Sai were drinking and talking happily. At this sight, he felt his blood boil in his veins. He was definitely not ready to share Naruto with anyone. This all step-back thing had been all for nothing. Before getting angrier, Sasuke walked away and wrapped his coat tighter around his lean body. 

He wasn’t heading to his apartment but to the training field. It was dark, but the Uchiha didn’t need light to see anyway. After throwing a few kunai against the targets, he took off the coat and started to train more seriously. Skilled as he was, this practice session was pointless. But at least, he could put the energy flooding in his body to good use instead of making a fuss at dinner. 

What was wrong with him? Why was it so hard to see Naruto being happy around other people? When his last kunai hit the trunk so hard it broke in half, Sasuke sighed. He had to work on his anger management. He wasn’t being fair to any of the guys… And Naruto - who had specifically asked him to come tonight - would be disappointed. But his absence would be better than using Amaterasu on Sai. 

But the more he thought about it, the more angry he grew with himself. Even when everything was good and peaceful, he had to be this petty and bitter man who couldn’t accept the good things in his life. He admired Naruto more than anything in the world. After all that had happened to him, the young man still had the strength to fight for himself and for what was right. He thought about his miserable existence, the sorrow he had lived and he wondered how such a young boy could still find the strength to seek for love even though he had been betrayed for half of his life. Sasuke wasn’t able to do that. He wasn’t half as strong as Naruto.

He was a tragic creature who couldn’t fight to make the world a better place. He was punished for it with an eternal sadness flowing through his spirit. Sasuke was down most of the time, not because of what was happening to him anymore… but because that was what he deserved for making so many people suffer. A murmur echoed inside him, making his spine shiver for a moment.

Sasuke retrieved the kunais on the floor and started throwing them again, his breath shortened and sight blurred by tears. For everything bad he had done, he was going to carry pain on his shoulders. And that would be his last burden. He deserved it. Another chill ran through his body and he knew _it_ was waking up. Sasuke blinked, hoping it would go away this time. He was punishing himself already, anyway.

While he was throwing electrified blades all around, he noticed a shadow walking through the trees. The Uchiha quickly dried his cheeks and swallowed his pain. The tall and broad shape of his friend stopped at the edge of the forest and watched him with an impassive look. Sasuke wouldn’t be the first one to talk, he never was. So he pretended Naruto wasn’t here and focused on keeping the rattle in his soul tamed. After running out of kunai to throw, Sasuke reached for the bottle of water in his pouch and took a sip, fainting to be relaxed and casual.

“I’m glad to see that you’re not hurt.” The blond dryly said. 

Sasuke didn’t answer. He had nothing to say anyway.

“Sasuke, why didn’t you come?”

“Because I didn’t want to.”

“But you said… you said you would give them a chance.” Naruto pleaded.

“Well, I changed my mind.”

Naruto sighed and walked to face him.

“Couldn’t you tell me? It was very rude to them and to me.” He had found his composure back.

“You figured it out. Why are you here anyway?”

“I left early because I was worried, you stupid ass!”

Sasuke swallowed and clenched his jaw, hoping he wouldn’t show emotions. Naruto was worried about him because he didn’t come to dinner. It was a normal thing for a friend, but for Sasuke, it could mean a lot more. A nice heat started warming his insides but he stopped it immediately: he didn’t deserve to have nice things.

“I was here. Doing something useful.”

“As if you needed kunai training. You’ve been the best at this since you’re six, Sasuke.”

“The best was Itachi.”

Another blade whistled, hit a target and Naruto stayed speechless for a moment, probably uncertain about what he should say when Sasuke was mentioning his brother. 

“You know, I’m gonna be mad at you until you apologize.” He announced, his arms crossed on his large chest.

“I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“I’m not sorry. So I won’t.”

Naruto growled in annoyance and it felt like the roles were reversed, for once. The black-haired shinobi was being the child here, but Naruto had no idea what was going on inside his mind and what he could do to fix things. How could he? He had done nothing wrong. The only problem here was Sasuke, his inner demons and the fact that he wanted Naruto all for himself.

The Uchiha swallowed his saliva as the claws of anxiety were climbing up again. His friend shouldn’t be here to watch him collapse into despair. And if he really wanted the blond to leave him alone, it wouldn’t be without real violence.

“So, you’re just going to be the asshole who’s making a fuss just for the sake of it?”

“Who’s making a fuss right now? I’m not.”

“Sasuke, stop being so obn-”

Sasuke had brutally pushed Naruto with the flat of his hand against his chest after the blond had grabbed his arm to get his attention. The shinobi landed on his ass, shocked. He looked at him, his mouth still open and frowned. They had not fought since that day… the last day of the war.

“What the fuck, Sasuke?” He said, standing again, his eyes growing angry.

Sasuke knew that Naruto was always up to a fistfight. It was the easiest way to push him on the edge. 

“Can’t you back off, for once in your life?” The brunette spat out, disgusted with himself.

He didn’t want Naruto to run away from him, but right now he was unable to consider him as just a friend. He wanted to be with him in every possible way. The thought of it tightened his heart and he realized that he was incapable of leaving Konoha again. Even for the sake of Naruto. And if Sasuke expected his friend to be repulsed by his sudden violent behavior, it only drew him further closer. Naruto was now facing Sasuke, his head so close their noses were almost touching. He felt the warmth of his breath against his lips and his whole body shivered, in a nice way this time. The azure orbs were scanning him, trying to get every piece of information in his black and purple eyes. But how could he understand?

“Talk to me instead of being an asshole.” He angrily retorted.

But Sasuke had nothing clever to say. Instead, he was trying very hard not to close the space between them and lose himself in the mellow of Naruto’s lips. Why was he thinking about them now? Did it really matter? They looked so full and warm and soft… Until now, he thought that carnal intimacy was trivial, that he didn’t need it. What he really needed, was to have Naruto by his side forever. Have a companion he could share everything with. Naruto was trying very hard to be this person with him… and so many other people. Sasuke couldn’t take it. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto shouted again.

A little bit of his spit landed on the Uchiha’s lips, inflaming his body in the process. Naruto seemed to feel the tension too because he took a step back and Sasuke could see the redness on his cheeks even in the dark. So he took a step forward. Just to see what would happen if he provoked him a little more. Would he flee?

Naruto watched him, confused. In Sasuke’s mind, thoughts were flying around, bouncing and bursting as fast as lightning bolts. He pushed him again, waiting for him to defend himself. But Naruto didn’t seem in the mood to fight him. He stayed stoic, clenched his jaw and let Sasuke spend his rage on him, as he had promised he would. Around them, the forest had gone silent. Sasuke could only hear their breath shortening and the buzzing of madness echoing in his ears.

He had to push him away, he wanted it so bad, but he had no strength for it anymore. It wasn’t fair to make Naruto think he had done something wrong. And if Sasuke was truly honest with himself, the only fury growing inside his spirit was lust. He had had no idea what it felt like, but now he knew. Naruto’s proximity, the look he was giving him and the thought that he had been intimate with people… other people. That was enough to feed the lusty monster inside him. So he pushed again, harder this time and Naruto’s back hit a tree roughly enough to make him moan painfully. 

“Fuck! Sasuke!” He said, pushing him with his shoulder to walk away, obviously upset.

But Sasuke wouldn’t have that. He was so confused that he had no idea what should be his next move. Naruto was walking away, exactly how he wanted it in the first place. But the pain of not seeing him was excruciating. The Uchiha’s will to keep his misery hidden and lonely was slowly disappearing and he was craving for more fight, more pain. He wanted Naruto to hurt him back. Only him could make him suffer enough so he would meet his true punishment. 

So he grabbed his arm and sent him to crash against a tree again. But this time, Naruto was faster and didn’t let the Uchiha treat him like a puppet. He had jumped against the tree and bounced back on Sasuke, making them both roll on the floor and land on their backs, covered with wet autumn leaves. The ground was cold but Sasuke was burning and Naruto was so close to losing his shit, it would be a shame to stop there.

“What do you want, asshole?” The blond shouted as he was trying to dodge the Uchiha’s fists, whiskers darkening on his cheeks with fury.

Before he could hit him, Sasuke felt a vivid pain in his jaw. Naruto had been faster. His knuckles now caging his throat, the shinobi straddled the Sharingan bearer and sat on his hips to immobilize him. The pressure around his neck and Naruto’s heavy weight on top of him awakened something unexpected. Electric shocks ran through his body and he realized he wanted more contact and rough treatments. As a response to these stimulations, his body reacted. Literally. And Naruto must have felt it too because he stopped moving for a moment, unclenching his fingers around Sasuke’s throat.

But the Uchiha already missed the burning in his lungs. With his hips, he rolled on top of Naruto who let him do it, still confused by the situation. As he was reversing the positions, Sasuke could feel the subtle bulge in Naruto’s pants under his ass. He was probably going crazy, but he was craving for it. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed a slight change in Naruto’s pupils: his orbs were darkening. Pretending he was forcing him to stay still, Sasuke gave him a few rubs by rolling his hips. The pressure against his butt increased and he almost let a moan pass his lips. But Naruto wasn’t a fool and he was more experienced than him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He spat out, pushing him so hard that Sasuke landed two meters away.

They both stood and stared at each other, covered with mud and panting. Naruto looked mental with his blue eyes narrowed in his orbits. He was looking for answers and his friend wouldn’t give it to him. With his usual arrogance, Sasuke gave him a snarky smile and Naruto jumped at his throat, grabbing his collar to crash him against the next trunk. 

Sasuke laughed and let him do it as he felt his arousal grow bigger and bigger against Naruto’s thigh. The blond forced him to look at him in the eyes, his hand holding his cheeks like pincers. The mischievous growl in his mind vibrated intensely as Naruto’s elbow was buried deep inside his chest, giving Sasuke the impression that he was going to choke. But instead of telling him to save himself, the dark passenger in Sasuke’s mind gloated. 

Drunk with the euphoria of pain, the Uchiha let the blond still his face to look at him in the eyes. One glance inside Sasuke’s orbs and Naruto forgot how to breathe. He had no idea what shifted in his friend’s mind, but he had no time to think about it. The Uzumaki had roughly slither his leg between Sasuke’s to make him feel how hard he was too. The black-haired boy opened his mouth to catch some air. How could so little feel so good already?

Without further ado, Naruto started moving against him, his eyes pinned into Sasuke’s, looking for permission to go rougher. But that was all the Uchiha was waiting for. His breath short, Sasuke let his friend step closer between his legs. The air was getting thicker and if he had no idea what he was doing, Sasuke knew one thing: he wasn’t here to feel good but to feed the monster inside him.

Naruto started to moan and fastened his pace. It was the first time the Uchiha was hearing him making noises like those. They were subtle, almost like painful whispers he was trying to contain. Sasuke loved to hear his little whimpers but he wanted them louder. His appetite for Naruto made him hungry for more. He wished that the shinobi grew unable to control his screams because of him. With a thrust of his hips that surprised the Uzumaki and made him whine like a wounded animal, Sasuke initiated a more intense dance. 

In the heat of the moment, Naruto closed the distance between their faces to crash his lips against Sasuke’s. The sensation was like no other. The blond had closed his mouth to suckle on him and give him a bruising and passionate kiss. Sasuke was slowly losing himself in the embrace, feeling the warmth pooling again in his heart. But as he was getting intoxicated with goodness running through his veins, his evil intruder planted their claws in his soul again. Droplets of dark thoughts rained in his mind, reminding him he didn’t deserve it.

He bit Naruto hard to push him away, making him bleed severely. The Uzumaki didn’t scream but he looked at him, baffled. The raven-haired boy watched the blood dripping on Naruto’s chin and down his throat and he wished he was a thick drop of life running on the Uzumaki’s skin. He retrieved some with his thumb and licked it. The taste of it, metallic and still warm, clouded his mind for a couple of seconds. Naruto was looking at him as if he had never seen his friend before. He tried to kiss him again but Sasuke rejected him.

The Uchiha didn’t get to be kissed, gently caressed or to receive any other form of tenderness. He deserved to be used as a receptacle of hate. Without another word, his hand dived right into Naruto’s pants and grabbed the object of his desire. The man before him opened his mouth, his eyes balling in surprise. Sasuke stayed still for a moment, realizing what he had inside his palm. This could have been just a rubbing session, but he was eager for more. Naruto bit his lip and arched his body, instantly begging for more with a soft whine. The warm shaft was pulsating under his fingers and the size of it, so thick and long made him weak in the knees. It would hurt. It had to hurt.

He pumped once, twice and Naruto buried his face in the crook of his neck, unable to look at him in the eyes. Sasuke would give more to him. Because Naruto deserved it. The Uzumaki tried to find the opening of Sasuke’s pants but he was once again rejected. Before he could protest, Sasuke turned his back to him and stuck his ass to his crotch. At once, the blond rubbed himself against Sasuke's round and firm butt. They were clumsy and in a hurry to get more. With awkward moves, the Uchiha opened his pants and let it glide down just enough to uncover his ass. It was cold outside but his skin was burning hot.

“Fuck… Sasuke… You look amazing.” Naruto stammered as he pulled his shirt a little up to catch a glimpse of his naked skin.

“Shut up. Fuck me.” Sasuke retorted, trying to ignore the fact that he was unveiling his nudity to his best friend.

Naruto whined at the sound of his dry and bossy voice and started cupping his butt. But the Uchiha didn’t want that. He didn’t want to feel Naruto’s big hands on him, caressing his sensitive skin and making him feel so good he could die. He didn’t want his mouth to kiss him in the neck and his hips to take their time not to hurt him. The Jinchuuriki had started to lick his earlobe and rub his loins with his thumbs. His warmth and the touch of his cock between his thighs made Sasuke weak in the knees. He could only feel how strong and broad Naruto was and he had to fight very strongly the urge to turn over and rip off his clothes. Before he would lose himself again with the tender and loving treatment his partner was giving him, Sasuke bent over, offering himself more explicitly. 

“I said: fuck me.”

Behind him, the blond stayed silent for a short moment, his hands trembling a little. He wanted it, Sasuke could feel it. But it was Naruto, he was always making sure his friend was alright. To make him forget all about courtesy, Sasuke waved obscenely against Naruto and the velvet member slipped deeper between his cheeks, making them both tremble.The grip of Naruto’s fingers tightened on his hips and he felt his shaft right where he wanted it. The blond spat in his hand and Sasuke could hear him rubbing himself and breathing faster. He looked down at the ground, his whole body tensing at the idea that he was going to let Naruto do this to him. He had no word to express that indescribable feeling. 

Naruto’s breath sharpened and Sasuke could feel how ready he was. One hand on his hip, the other one guiding himself between Sasuke’s thighs, he pushed a little and gasped lightly. Sasuke closed his eyes as the head hit his hole and saved a deep breath for later. He could feel Naruto was about to say something so he took his cock inside him, impaling himself on it. Naruto growled with pleasure but didn’t move. Sasuke had not screamed or said a word either. His jaw clenched and his breath still stuck at the back of his throat, he thought he was going to choke. Drops of cold sweat were running down his temples, his chest and his back, damping his t-shirt. He was cold and hot at the same time and the pain was making his entire body tremble. 

Naruto was holding him so tight and tenderly at the same time, Sasuke wanted to cry and beg him to stop and cuddle him. But he couldn’t. The rumble in his mind was now forming words : “more pain. more ache. more darkness.” With his last strengths, the Uchiha arched his back and started moving slowly.

“Sa...Sasuke…”

Naruto was giving everything he had to not move with him but the raven-haired boy could feel his lover was in pain too. What was he doing wrong?

“You’re… too tight. I can’t move…”

He could feel the tightness too, how big Naruto felt inside him and how much it burned in his guts. Sasuke closed his eyes and took a short break from reality. The voice kept repeating the same words “more pain. more ache. more darkness.” And in Sasuke’s mind, he realized that this pain right here also meant he could have Naruto all for himself. It was his cock inside his ass. No one at that table ever had that. The idea that he could have Naruto’s body made him whimper and loosen a little. As he noticed that it was working, he let his thoughts linger farther away. The pain was anchoring him in reality, reminding him that Naruto was getting to know him in the most intimate way possible. He didn’t need to talk about his trauma if they kept doing this. That was how Sasuke was choosing to share his pain.

Finding his arousal back, Sasuke moved by himself, using Naruto’s dick as a dildo and each thrust was more deliciously painful than the one before. His hands against the rough barks of the tree he was leaning on, he pushed himself harder against Naruto’s hips who had started to mewl again. Following his friend, the blond waved too. It began to feel so good and so tortuous that Sasuke forgot all about the shame of being naked with Naruto. He moved in an obscene way against his partner’s groin, feeling every nerve in shock in his body, every drop of chakra and blood flooding inside him running down to his cock. 

Naruto tried to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him. But Sasuke rejected every attempt of tenderness. He just wanted to be fucked, hard and heartlessly. Tired of getting rejected, Naruto kept his hands on Sasuke’s hips and moved rougher, enjoying the now exquisite tightness of his ass, the white skin he was bruising and the way Sasuke was taking all of him. The Uchiha was standing again, his back so nicely arched, Naruto had never seen a body like this. Sasuke couldn’t help but look behind him for a moment. He caught a glimpse of his lover as he watched down, completely hypnotized by the sight of his limb entering in and out of him. A sense of pride bloomed inside him and he arched more, ignoring the tension in his back muscles.

The Uchiha could feel Naruto move so easily and it was enough to make the burning in his balls grow bigger with each thrust. The Jinchuuriki was now growling against his ear and he realized once more how much he loved this sound. It was the softest, most lusty music ever. He could also feel Naruto’s inquisitive look after a deep thrust that had them both shiver. He was probably wondering why Sasuke wasn’t making a single sound, besides his heavy gasps. Nothing was coming out of his mouth. As if the feelings were stuck in his throat. As if he wasn’t allowing himself to feel it all completely.

And even when the most delicious sensation was building in his loins, melting in his groin and making his dick throb like a volcano, he didn’t make a sound. Naruto on the other hand was losing his mind inside him. Sasuke bit his lip as the Uzumaki was pouring himself out inside him, growling like a beast, his nose lost in the mane of dark locks. The shinobi stilled himself, only shaken by rough spasms of pleasure as Sasuke was taking it all in. His last cry of relief made the Uchiha come and fall on his knees. Naruto followed him on the ground, his arm wrapped around his chest, as if he was protecting him. At this moment, Sasuke was too weak to reject him again. His legs trembling, he tried to pull his pants up but his limbs were too heavy and his orgasm was still working its magic, buzzing in his ears and keeping away any evil intruders.

Between the excruciating pain and the dizziness of climax, Sasuke squirmed on the floor and shivered. Wordlessly, Naruto helped him put his pants back on and watched him as he crawled to stand again. Their eyes met and Sasuke read the confusion in his friend’s glance. They had not said anything yet, and even Sasuke had no explanation for what had just happened. It was like he had been out of his own body. The Uzumaki didn’t say a word because he knew Sasuke too well now. He got them both back on their feet and helped the shinobi out of the woods until he could walk by himself. 

Naruto stayed silent on the way home. Maybe he was in shock, Sasuke thought. He wondered now if that had not been a huge mistake. Maybe Naruto didn’t want that… maybe he didn’t want to do it with him. And that thought horrified Sasuke. He looked at him, feeling weak again as they approached his apartment. Naruto stopped right under the streetlamp and looked at Sasuke with an awkward smile.

“Hm… we shouldn’t be embarrassed, right?” The blond said with a soft and hesitant voice.

“No… it’s… I mean… you… Did I force you?”

“No! Fuck… hm… it was…”

Naruto scratched the back of his head and chuckled timidly, his cheeks blushing.

“Fuck. I just… It was unexpected and… hm… I didn’t know you were into this… that way.”

“That way?”

“Rough and… anyway, there’s nothing wrong with your… kinks.”

Despite himself, Sasuke blushed too. He had had no intention of sleeping with Naruto in the first place. And he also had no idea if he liked it rough… he liked it to a certain point yes. But pleasuring himself was the least of his concern right now.

“So, hm… see you, then?”

“Hm… yeah, I guess.”

Sasuke watched Naruto wave him good night and leave the neighborhood. He swallowed harshly and realized nothing was going according to plan. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!
> 
> Here is the second chapter! This story still seems a bit deconstructed but I feel like it is mirroring Sasuke's complex mind. He's a very layered character and I would be lying if I was not admitting he is very hard to write if you want to stay faithful to the OG one.   
> Thanks for reading the first chapter, leaving kudos and commenting if you did and I'll see you in the notes below!

The past events had Sasuke questioned his whole life. Was he in love with Naruto? He had never thought about it that way. He had always assumed that Naruto was a part of him, someone that would always mean something to him and that no one could replace. He was his soulmate but that didn’t mean they had to love each other that way. Though, he still couldn’t explain where this sudden sexual desire was coming from. All he wanted was to make Naruto mad so he would cut him some slack and live his own life away from Sasuke’s negativity. That was the wisest thing to do, even though it would break Sasuke’s heart.

Instead, he had awakened something far more intense and unhealthy. And if Sasuke was confused, he could only imagine what Naruto might be thinking. They had slept together. They could not erase that. And it was a thing that Sasuke had initiated. So, his friend was probably thinking he was attracted to him that way… And he still had no idea if that was the case. Why would things be so complicated every time he was involved in human relationships?

Sasuke sighed, despising himself once more. He had avoided Naruto for three days now and he had no idea what to tell him. Was there a universal code of conduct when two best friends had sex? The shinobi had to find another way to sort things out. He couldn’t flee the village again, he couldn’t ignore Naruto… but he was a coward. And facing his responsibilities when he had no idea what to say to his friend was insurmountable. Once again, he would follow the easy path.

Early in the morning, as he was walking toward the Hokage tower to ask to be sent on a long period mission, he felt a presence behind him and chills started to crawl under his skin. He didn’t have to look back, he knew it was Naruto. He had missed the blond, even though he would never say it to his face. The streets were still quiet, the village slowly awakening with dawn. So it became very clear that Sasuke was ignoring the Jinchuuriki. Knowing Naruto, that wasn’t a good enough reason to give up on his friend.

“Hey, Sasuke!” The blond called before reaching his side.

He was surprised that nothing had changed in Naruto's voice. He didn't seem embarrassed or different... The Uchiha had no idea if it was a good or a bad news. Was he so irrelevant that Naruto was acting around him as if nothing had happened? He kept walking in silence, chewing his thoughts like a mad man while trying to avoid looking at his friend’s smiling and solar face. He had put his hands in his pockets to be sure they wouldn’t bump into his friend and would keep the touch rate to a minimum. But Naruto wasn’t going to let him win like this. He should have known that after their night together, nothing would ever be the same between them.

Sasuke noticed how Naruto was slowly getting closer to him and he wondered what it meant. It was getting harder to ignore his presence next to him, especially when the young shinobi did something unexpected that forced the brunette to stop and look at him. The Uzumaki had laid his hand right on Sasuke’s loins. He shivered from head to toe and tried to hide the redness spreading up to his forehead. The Sharingan bearer tried to look intimidating but nothing stopped Naruto from touching him. He wasn’t very impressed with the Uchiha’s bad mood anymore. But realizing this touch could be seen as provocative in the middle of the street, his hand wrapped around his wrist instead.

“I haven’t seen you in days… what are you up to?” Naruto asked in the most natural way.

“I’m going to see Kakashi for a mission.”

“Oh… So, you’re leaving again? I thought we could spend some time together.”

Silence ensued. Sasuke felt the cold morning breeze in his hair and he wondered why Naruto was up so early. Was he expecting him to sneak out? Did he know him that well?

“I’m teaching at the academy for a month.” He started again with an hesitant voice. “And I thought maybe you could come and… show the kids some tricks. I don’t know, tomorrow or the day after? Or, whenever you want, really.”

“I’m not a baby-sitter.” Sasuke answered dryly.

“Come on, Sasuke… you know that Konoha’s future doesn’t only depend on us? If there’s no one after you and me, the village is lost.”

Touché. Naruto was right. As a jounin - kind of - it was his duty to teach the next generations. Besides, Kakashi would be far more interested in having him around than leave again on a mission anybody could have done. He was aware of that but if he said yes, he would have to rub shoulders with the Uzumaki for several hours. Would it be so bad? He wondered. In a way, he knew he couldn’t avoid Naruto forever. He had come back to Konohagakure for him in the first place. Not because the Jinchuuriki had asked him but because Sasuke had known that he was going to fall into his old habits if he didn’t get some help. Rejecting Naruto was the quickest path to darkness. He thought he could handle loneliness, but hurting Naruto again? It would be like profaning sacred grounds.

He nodded and Naruto jumped in victory. They walked together even farther after the Hokage tower. The blond was still holding his wrist in his big hand and Sasuke couldn’t find the strength to tell him to back off. The village was slowly waking up as they strolled around and they didn’t stop walking until they reached the academy courtyard. This was where they had fought so many times in the past. Naruto had started to explain to Sasuke everything he had planned for the kids. The future Hokage was talking very fast, excited by all the things he wanted to show them. The Uchiha could see how much his friend liked to teach, share and make new friends. For him, passing his knowledge to the next generations was as important as protecting them. His cheerful spirit and the smile on his face made Sasuke’s heart beat faster. How did he deserve to ever get his attention?

“Oh and by the way: Shikamaru is on duty on Friday so we’re having dinner tonight. If you want to come… the girls will be here this time.”

The boys and the girls… It meant that the place would be crowded and Sasuke had no idea if he could handle it. But the female presence probably meant that he would see them around Naruto too. Jealousy was slowly poisoning his veins again but a sadistic curiosity bloomed in his mind too.

“I’ll come.”

“Oh?” Naruto didn’t expect him to yield so easily. “Okay! I’m so glad!”

Naruto smiled and his knuckles tightened around Sasuke’s wrist. The naive boy never thought for one second Sasuke was a manipulative asshole. That he would come only to test the water. But the Uchiha himself didn’t know how he would react seeing his friend around girls. Knowing how bitter he was: probably not very good. But he wanted to know his limit and also… convince himself that the night they had together had been a one time thing. He would cherish the memory and it would make him feel miserable, just as he deserved. Before he could flog himself, Naruto dragged him to the swing in front of the school’s entrance. He invited Sasuke to sit.

“I’m not going to sit on a kid swing, Naruto!”

“Come on! I’ll hold you if you’re afraid!”

“I’m not afraid, usuratonkachi!”

He scolded him but sat either way. Naruto chuckled adorably and stood behind him to push the swing lightly. The blond had sat here all alone so many times, Sasuke felt uneasy at the idea that they were here. But Naruto didn’t seem too troubled. In fact, a big smile was splitting his face in half as he was pushing Sasuke.

“Why are we here?”

“I like coming here… it reminds me of everything I have accomplished and everything I still have to do.”

“Aren’t you… sad?” He questioned him.

“Not anymore. I have everything that I want.”

“Everything?” 

“A home, a family I made for myself, people who count on me.”

“What about me?” Sasuke thought. But Naruto didn’t mention him. He was stupid. He expected the impossible. He wanted to be used by Naruto and expected him to love him too? Nothing made sense anymore. The only clear thought that kept coming through his clouded mind was the fact that he was in love with Naruto. He had feelings for him. It was undeniable. Deep inside him, something dark scratched and tried to climb up his mind. But Sasuke wouldn’t let his vulnerability show in front of his friend who looked so happy today. The truth about his feelings for his friend would feed the beast hidden in his spirit. It would use it against him. But that was okay, as soon as Naruto was safe.

“What are you thankful for, Sasuke?”

Was it a trick question? He had no idea but he couldn’t let Naruto know what he felt for him.

“Rice and tomatoes.”

Behind him, the ninja laughed and laid his hand on his shoulder. The pressure was light, but Sasuke was completely absorbed by this slight touch above his clothes. He seriously needed to control his physical reaction to Naruto’s contact.

“That’s still better than what you had said when we met Kakashi-sensei.”

He remembered that time. He had been his usual obnoxious self. For some reason, as he was unveiling his projects for the future, Naruto had not laughed at him. Sasuke had felt his big, blue and curious gaze on his face. The gennin had been impressed and probably scared. He had no idea what Sasuke had endured. All he knew was that he had lost his entire family. On the other side, Sasuke had not tried to question Naruto either. In a way, he knew what he was feeling. The Jinchuuriki had been all alone for all his life, Sasuke didn’t have to ask to know.

The wind in his hair, Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment and enjoyed Naruto’s simple presence. They had so much to discuss and sort out but it was like the words were stuck in their throats. The Uchiha suspected that his friend didn’t know how to bring up the topic and he wasn’t going to talk about it either. This was a one time thing and it would stop right here, right now. Sasuke would make sure of it.

*******

When he entered the restaurant that night, Sasuke knew nobody expected him. Surprised by his presence, the guys welcomed him with smiles and a fresh bottle of beer. The girls didn’t take too long to arrive after him. Everybody was now mixing together and as awkward as he felt, he had no trouble finding a quiet place to sit. Sasuke sighed in relief, noticing there only were women he knew: Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Temari and a tanned girl with red hair he had never seen but seemed too occupied to feed Chôji that she wouldn’t be a threat. Sakura on his right and Neji on his left, the black-haired shinobi enjoyed dinner the same as last time: in silence and observing everyone around. 

His former companion from team seven filled his plate with slices of well-cooked meat and gave it to him with a smile. Her pink hair had grown very long and she was even wearing makeup. Sasuke greeted her with a shy grin too and she blushed despite herself. They had had the talk several times and she now knew that nothing would happen between them. But that didn’t stop her from being his friend and still be embarrassed when he was around. Even though Sakura was different from Naruto, he wished she could move on and forget him. He was no good to a sweet girl like her.

This time, Naruto wasn’t sitting too far away from him but he was still surrounded by people. With Shikamaru always by his side, he was now arm wrestling with Kiba while Lee was encouraging the both of them to give the best of themselves. A small crowd had started to gather around their booth. Mainly composed by shinobi and girls, they were all cheering for a contestant, but it would be lying to say that Naruto didn’t have most of the favors. Sasuke scanned the crowd with his hidden Rinnegan and realized that he had no idea who those people were. The village had changed while he was gone and the ditch between him and the rest of them was now a canyon. 

Behind the blond, several girls were trying to get closer to him, chanting his name, bringing him water and even touching his shoulders for encouragement. Swallowing his envy, Sasuke focused on the friendly fight and realised Naruto wasn’t even trying to beat Kiba. As strong as the Inuzuka was, if he wanted, the blond would have broken his arm into tiny pieces by now. As always, the Jinchuuriki was playing fair, not using his chakra to keep the game balanced. But even then, Kiba’s arm bent and he lost. Akamaru barked to cheer his master up while Naruto was saluting the cheering crowd with a victory smile that enlightened the whole room. Sasuke restrained a chuckle and drank to hide he was secretly very fond of the childish but manly young man Naruto had become. Next to him, Sakura was sighing in despair.

“He’s such a kid. And now, his harem is about to steal him!”

“What?”

She didn’t have time to explain that Sasuke understood what Sakura was talking about. As he was about to resume eating, Naruto got pulled away from the table by several girls who wanted to talk to him. As kind as he was, he agreed on greeting them. He leaned on the counter of the bar and listened to their stories, smiling like a kid and scratching the back of his head every time one of them complimented him. Naruto was a true celebrity in Konoha and what Sasuke had thought was just a joke between companions was a true phenomenon. 

The brunette had a very hard time hiding that he was completely disinterested from what was happening at the table right now. He watched the little group by the bar giggle, touch Naruto’s arms and his chest. His jaw clenched a little as he noticed that Naruto wasn’t stopping them. Why was he letting those girls caress him like that? Was he too nice to say no? Or was he… enjoying the attention? Sasuke emptied his beer bottle, his mind going dizzier by the minute. And what he thought would help his heartbeat to slow down, only fastened it. He was on the edge, looking for something to do or say to escape the view but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Naruto and his court of admirers. Especially when the most beautiful girl grabbed Naruto’s hand and tiptoed to speak directly into his ear. Next to him, no one was paying attention, as if they were all used to their friend’s popularity.

From where he was sitting, Sasuke watched the man he secretly loved blush and bite his lip intensely before taking the girl in a more private place, out of his sight. What were they doing? Sasuke was suddenly feeling very cold and hot at the same time. His fists clenched under the table, he couldn’t swallow anything anymore. Naruto wasn’t going to do _this_ here, now, with him a few meters away, right? He wasn’t going to flirt right in front of him? His saliva stuck in his mouth, the Uchiha felt like he was going to throw up. He knew this would happen. He thought he was ready to accept that his place wasn’t by Naruto’s side. So, why was it so painful?

“He doesn’t belong to you.” It had been a few days since he had last heard the voice. Now was the worst time to make a reappearance. But apparently for _it_ , the timing was perfect. The damage was done. It was pointless to try to reason himself right now because envy was already spreading through his heart and his guts were tearing and making him suffer. “That’s the point, asshole.” The voice inside his mind spat out again. “You’re supposed to feel that way.”

“You’re not eating anymore?” Sakura asked next to him, a kind smile on her face. “Sasuke? Are you alright?” She asked, suddenly worried as she noticed how pale and sick he looked.

“I… I need to go.”

In the merry agitation, nobody but Sakura noticed that Sasuke was leaving the table. Her turquoise eyes followed him as he ran to the exit and for a moment, he thought he heard her call him. But the buzzing in his ears was too strong and he felt too angry to even look at her. She didn’t deserve to be treated like shit just because he couldn’t handle his feelings for their best friend. He walked quickly toward the exit, in need of fresh air. As he was about to pass the curtain door, he didn’t see Naruto coming and bumped into him with force. 

“Oi! Sasuke, are you… leaving already?”

Sasuke scanned his friend’s face quickly. He didn’t look disheveled, had no kissing marks on his face but his jacket was open, revealing the fishnet underneath. It was enough for Sasuke to lose his mind, run out of the restaurant and not look back. The streets were busy. It was still early in the evening and Konoha was awake and well. Behind him, he heard the blond’s voice calling him desperately. He couldn’t look back, he couldn’t stop. He had nothing rational to say to Naruto. He was too ashamed to be so selfish that he couldn’t handle his friend being happy without him.

He was still walking away, trying to find a path in the narrower streets to avoid the crowd. Before he could vanish, he brutally hit a wall with his back. Naruto was pinning him against the hidden facade of a bar. Sheltered by the dark, nobody but the moon timidly peaking through the clouds could see them.

“Why are you leaving so soon? What’s wrong?” Naruto questioned him with his breath shortened by the chase.

Sasuke didn’t try to push him away because his touch was too exquisite, even though he was hurting him with his fingers dug in his shoulders. His back bones bruising against the wall, he let Naruto shake him, hoping for a reaction. But as always, Sasuke looked at him with empty eyes.

“Why are you always like that?” The blond said after releasing him. “Why are you always causing trouble and then leaving me alone to figure out what to do?”

Sasuke swallowed but stayed speechless, even if he knew the exact answer. “Because I want you to keep chasing me.” He thought. “Even if I don’t deserve it.” The voice added. The brunette watched the ground and Naruto’s feet, his long and muscular legs and his sight landed on his beautiful morning sky eyes after he avoided looking at his soft lips. 

“Is it because of the girls?” The blond finally asked with a hesitant voice, as if he knew that he could light Sasuke’s mood on fire at any moment.

The Uchiha responded with a sarcastic smirk, failing to not show he was irritated. Naruto grabbed the edge of Sasuke’s jacket and played with it. He looked everywhere but on him. His cheeks had a nice rosie shade and he was biting his lower lip. Sasuke observed him as he was chewing on his cheek and probably looking for something soothing to say. It was unfair of him to act as if Naruto had to be blamed for something when he was the crazy douchebag who had no idea what he wanted.

“We never talked about what happened in the woods the other night and...” The blond took a deep breath “I’m sorry, it was insensitive of me to talk with them in front of you but… I can’t tell those people to just fuck off, they’re being nice. And besides, nothing happened.”

“Then, why is your jacket open?” Sasuke spat out, pulling on the fishnet with anger.

“I-... okay, she might have tried something but I rejected her!”

So it was like that, then? Naruto could fuck him one day and flirt with other people in the same week… and lie about it? Even if he had rejected her, he had taken her in a private place and he had probably remembered Sasuke at the last minute. The Sharingan bearer didn’t want to be someone you think about right when you’re about to kiss somebody else. 

Pain grew in his guts, travelled to his lungs, his heart and his brain. He had no idea how to breathe and think correctly. But as his mind was slowly drowning in jealousy, the agony woke something else. A rush of blood flooded down his stomach and between his legs and he clenched his thighs. That was an unexpected reaction but a deliciously aching one. After the surprise came the guilt. Sasuke thought about how awful he was for being so aroused in moments like these. Being heartbroken was fueling his lust and it didn’t take much longer for him to pull Naruto between his legs to make him feel how much he wanted him. 

At that moment, the shinobi didn’t want to talk or explain. He wanted to be filled with Naruto’s cock and hear him moan against him. The blond opened his blue eyes as wide as it was possible, certainly not expecting this kind of response. Sensing Naruto wasn’t reacting to his provocation, Sasuke grabbed his hand and put it right on his crotch to show him how hard he was, how serious he was about doing this.

“Oh fuck… Sasuke… We should go to your place…” He stammered.

“No time.” He said as he turned to face the wall and arched his back, already preparing to receive.

“In the streets? We can’t! Someone might c- Ah!” He whined as Sasuke had started rubbing his ass against his groin.

Without further ado, Naruto vigorously pulled their pants down, unveiling his butt and stuck his shaft between his cheeks. Sasuke winced in pain, but this time it was different. He was looking for it, enjoying the burn in his guts and his muscles clenching in spasms. That was exactly what he was searching for and what made him feel so alive. Naruto had stopped questioning him and was already moving in and out, his short breath panting against Sasuke’s nape. He could hear him containing his screams and it made it all even better. The friction of his cock inside him drew electric shocks through his entire body. Weak and trembling, Sasuke arched harder, giving full access to his lover to fuck him senseless.

Behind him, Naruto was losing himself, watching as his beautiful ass was swallowing his entire length, opening to him like no one before. The blond praised Sasuke and tried to touch him again. But as he was about to wrap his long fingers around his partner’s shaft to make him feel good, Sasuke gripped his hand with strength and put it back on his hips, where he was allowed to hold him. Naruto moaned in disapprobation but didn’t stop thrusting vigorously. 

Not very far away from them, people were exiting restaurants and walking back home. Nobody was suspecting the two strongest shinobi in the world were fucking like animals in a dark alley. The agitation only a few meters away made Sasuke’s heart beat faster with adrenaline. Being with Naruto was forbidden… but here, in public? It felt good and naughty at the same time. The exact sensation he was trying to give to his best friend. Enough pleasure for him to be satisfied but without the feeling that he should stick around. It seemed that Naruto was also very excited by the thrilling situation because his motions were frantic and his breath so erratic it sounded like he was in pain. But as carried away as he was by what was happening between them, Naruto surprised Sasuke with an unexpected move.

“You like it like that, huh?” The blond whispered in his ears as he pulled out entirely before entering him with a brutal thrust.

This time, Sasuke couldn’t stop the whimper coming out of his throat. The pain was excruciating. For the first time in years, his sight went blank and stars were dancing in his brain. And he didn’t even have time to recover that Naruto did it again, abusing him and making him hurt like never before. His thighs trembling, nails rasping against the wall, he almost begged him to stop. But slowly, the violent ache transformed into fever and Sasuke felt sweat gliding under his clothes. Naruto had adjusted his position and he was hitting him right where it made him forget all the pain in the world. His own dick, painful from being left aside, was throbbing between his trembling thighs. It was torture not to touch himself or reject Naruto’s attention. It was pulling him on the edge of climax every time the blond was waving inside him.

“I can’t believe… you like to come like that.” Naruto whispered in a painful breath as he spread his cheeks and pounded him faster and harder. Sasuke was close, so close that he could almost feel his balls growing heavier when his lover hit him from behind. Naruto was now using him, just like he wanted him to. It was so good, so satisfying to feel him lose himself inside his sensitive body that Sasuke came even before Naruto could, soiling the wall with his cum. The achievement of making his friend happy was enough for him to meet the stars.

As he felt his walls tightening with spasms and his breath becoming uneven, Naruto realized Sasuke was coming. Holding him tightly, the shinobi stuck himself so far up his ass, that it felt like he was trying to merge with his lover. His chin on Sasuke’s shoulder, he watched him discharge against the wall and waited until his cock started to soften a little to resume his thrusting. Sasuke had a hard time standing and he let himself go completely, caged between the dirty facade and Naruto’s strong and broad body.

But now that he had hit climax, Naruto wasn’t brutally fucking him anymore. His hips were rolling deep and slow, sending delicious chills all around his already sensitive body. He could feel every millimeters of Naruto’s cock stretching his hole, rubbing his insides. And to his own surprise, he grew hard again. The Jinchuuriki seemed to enjoy this pace even more than before. His moans against Sasuke’s ear were so enticing and obscene that the Uchiha wondered if Naruto had not been simulating before. His big hands around his waist, Naruto gently bit Sasuke in the neck. A million chills covered his body as he clenched his fists against the wall and tried to press his forehead farther on the facade. 

Inside him, Sasuke was battling his own desires. Even if he was desperately in need for tenderness, Sasuke couldn't let Naruto know that he was falling for his gentleness. He couldn’t let him know that his heart was melting and his eyes were tearing up every time the shinobi was subtly caressing his loins with his thumbs. It became very hard not to react to the delicious things Naruto was doing to him when he heard the sweet words he started whispering into his ears.

“So good… you’re so good, Sasuke. Your tight ass… your body… fuck… I love this… I want more of you...”

Naruto was trembling too and he was close to letting go of everything. Noticing he had the high ground for a short amount of time, he forced the Uchiha to let him rest his large hand on his stomach. Sasuke fluttered even more, completely surrounded by Naruto’s body. The blond thrusted a little faster, but still tenderly. And Sasuke, unable to stop him, thought he was going to cry if Naruto kept being so gentle with him. In a last attempt to make him come faster, he clenched around him and bit his own lip when he heard him curse with pleasure. Naruto came inside him with force and his teeth sank in the pale skin of his shoulder. 

They both stayed still for a minute until Naruto pulled out and put both of their pants back up. He looked at his friend and opened his mouth but Sasuke put a finger on his lips. They didn’t need words… and he wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say because it would probably be too sweet for him to handle. Before Naruto could say something and break the protecting walls around his soul, Sasuke activated the power of his Rinnegan and vanished into the night to find refuge in his apartment. He wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings if Naruto kept being so gentle and loving with him.

Now lying naked on his bed, Sasuke tried not to think too much about the shivers still running under his skin and concentrated on the pain in the lower part of his back. As delicious as the sex had been tonight, he was still hurting very badly from the rough friction. The first time, it had taken days for him to recover. Being fucked so hard had inconvenients he couldn’t ignore. Naruto was a big guy and even without the generous size of his shaft, he wasn’t the kind to restrain himself. With the big amount of energy flowing in his body, it was only natural that Sasuke - who was equally strong - would feel crushed after being pounded the way he had been. But the Uchiha wouldn’t heal himself. That was another way of using the pain as a way to atone for his crimes.

He closed his eyes, thinking Naruto would kill him if he knew Sasuke was using him for a purpose like that. But it had to be him. It had to be the person he loved the most so he would feel it harder. And the fact that Naruto was still seeing other people was shattering his soul but it was even better like that. The sinister voice commented in the back of his head: “This is just what you deserve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is slowly getting used to being abused and it makes me sad (as if I wasn't the cause of it all!!), but don't worry. Our boy is a fighter! He's gonna get through it, with a little help of course!
> 
> I promise there won't be only rough sex scenes in this one, the fluff is coming my friends. Naruto is going to drown him with tenderness!  
> Thank you all for reading and I can't wait to know what you're thinking!  
> xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> I hope you are doing well and had a lovely week. To celebrate Friday (and because I finally proofread that f****** chapter), here it is!  
> I'm very glad you're all being thrilled by the story and I hope you'll like what is coming next! Thank you so much for your support!!
> 
> xx
> 
> PS: there's brutal sex mentioned here so... hm, you know what to do if this is a trigger for you!

Sasuke had been teaching the kids to throw kunai for two hours now and he surprised himself not being too tired of it. Of course, it had taken him some time to adjust and not be a complete ass with the younglings, but seeing them succeed after their hard work was a good reward, even for him. Twenty pairs of big and dreamy eyes were following his every move. The shinobi showed them how to hold a kunai to optimize the attack, how to breathe properly to make peace in your mind and of course, how to aim precisely where they wanted. After a few demonstrations, they all stood in line to try what “Sasuke-sensei” had been showing them. As he watched their little legs running around, he felt his heart tightening in his chest. He recalled the happy days of his youth and his first class at the ninja academy. He had been so thrilled to finally learn something that could make him as strong as his big brother.

All of those kids only knew peace. Some of them had lost their parents into the last war, but they’d mostly grow up in the safest Konoha there ever was. And everything was thanks to his friend. Sasuke focused on the younglings and didn’t hesitate to correct them in a way only he knew how. He noticed a few very capable students among them… and some clumsy ones but he decided not to judge them, being very aware of what a so-called dumb kid could achieve if he put his mind to it. On the other side of the courtyard, Naruto was showing his best kage bunshins to another group and smiling with pride as the children shouted, marveled by the number of shadow clones he could create. Each group had now an assignment and they got to work with an enthusiasm that Sasuke had missed.

To let them figure things on their own, the two teachers sat under the tree and watched the ninja-to-be as they trained. They were both wearing the traditional shinobi outfit: all black attire and a kaki green utility jacket. Naruto was cheering loud every time one of them was achieving something, giving them the confidence nobody had given him back then. Sasuke watched him in silence, observing how his beautiful blond hair stood out in the green scenery. The shape of his nose, his sexy jawline and the way the sleeveless jacket was making him look broad and thick… it started a fire inside Sasuke’s loins.

Since that night at the barbecue place, he had slept with Naruto several times. On the training field, in the armory, on the wall guarding the city, in the hallway not very far away from Rokudaime’s office… Everywhere that was uncomfortable enough so they wouldn’t stay to cuddle after. Sasuke was getting regularly laid but he was always on the edge and never fully satisfied. Probably because he had made everything in his power to not enjoy it.

Every time, he had managed to keep Naruto’s hands away from him. The sex was intense, vigorous, exhausting and lonely. His partner always pulled out looking extremely satisfied for a moment. After all, Sasuke was doing his best to make him come and Naruto should have nothing to complain about. But the more they did it that way, the more Naruto was acting strange. 

First of all, he was staying in Sasuke’s body as long as he could, as if he knew that as soon as he was out, the Uchiha would zip up his pants and go away. Then, he fainted to hurt Sasuke several times just so he could touch him. Of course, Naruto had never tried to hit him or actually hurt his lover. But he had noticed that Sasuke was not against a spanking or two. It had even been actually hard to hide the pleasure he was feeling every time Naruto had slapped his ass while thrusting inside him. As the Uchiha was preparing for anothing spank, Naruto was suddenly shifting and grabbing his ass to ease their wild intercourse. Sometimes, a bite transformed into a soft hickey. And Sasuke was growing too weak to prevent him from doing it.

Back on the training field, the raven-haired boy was so absorbed by his thoughts that he didn’t even notice that the Uzumaki had brought his hand closer to him. His fingers were now subtly brushing his, his pinky slowly hooking around his thumb. Sasuke looked down. The tanned hand was slowly tangling with his pale one. He didn’t move, not really certain about what he should do about it. The obvious answer would be to reject him, but for some reasons he couldn’t do that. And Naruto was such a flirt, he used the first opportunity to cover his hand entirely with his palm after applauding the student who made his first proper shadow clone. Sheltered under Naruto’s warm skin, Sasuke had never felt so at peace. A feeling he knew he wasn’t allowed to enjoy for too long.

After a long session of training, the kids sat on the ground, exhausted by the effort it had been for them. It was time for a break. Sasuke lost himself in the maze of the academy, memories jumping at him. He felt so big in those hallways he used to think were huge when he was a tiny brat. 

The two shinobi found themselves in the empty classroom that saw them grow up. Sasuke tried to ignore the chills covering his body as he climbed the steps. The books, the desks, the benches… The memories were loud. The room had a smell, a certain light and something warm he knew and couldn’t ignore. His childhood had come with its batch of miseries, but somehow, this classroom had always been a safe haven.

“We kissed here.” Naruto broke the silence with a chuckle. 

“ _You_. You kissed me. Don’t twist reality!”

“Okay, _I_ , kissed you. By accident. But hm… it isn’t such a bad memory, is it?”

Sasuke ignored him and faced the window. Naruto was using their emotional state of mind to get to move him… and it was working damn well. That day, they were defying one another, as always. Their lips had touched and he had been extremely upset. Thinking about it now, it made him want to laugh, sit down with Naruto and share more memories together. But that would mean he was giving in and inviting his friend to get closer to him. They couldn’t have that, they couldn’t have both. It was sex or nothing. Now standing next to him and watching the kids eat their lunch in the yard, Naruto smiled.

“We could have dinner together tonight. What do you think?”

“I have something planned.”

“What?”

“A mission.”

“At night?”

Sasuke nodded and tried to ignore the disappointment on Naruto’s face. 

“When can we meet, then?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Because I want to see you. Is that a bad thing?” He retorted, slightly irritated.

“You’re seeing me now.”

The blond huffed, annoyed by his attitude. But at least, if Sasuke pushed Naruto enough, he would leave him alone for the day. Spending time together and having sex wasn’t the plan at all. If Sasuke even considered he still had a plan. The raven-haired boy heard his steps fade as he walked away from him and closed the door. A night alone with Naruto? It would have been amazing… for someone who would fulfill the Jinchuuriki’s expectations. 

They finished the training day, not talking to one another again. At that moment, Sasuke realized that Naruto wasn’t so easy to manipulate anymore. The blond wouldn’t let him do whatever he wanted and get out of it without consequences. He was minding his own business, not letting the contrariety from earlier cloud his day with the kids. As always, the future Hokage never let his personal problems get in the way of his goals.

On his way back to his apartment, Sasuke also grasped the idea that Naruto’s behavior didn’t make sense either. The boy had clearly stated that he was sleeping around and that was what Sasuke had offered to him: meaningless sex. But somehow, he was always looking for more intimacy and the Uchiha had no idea why. Sasuke had thought that he had found the perfect compromise but it seemed like Naruto didn’t enjoy it that much. A chill of fear crossed his body. He had to find a way to keep his friend right where he wanted him without hurting him.

After a quick stop to the store, he climbed the stairs to his apartment and crashed on his bed. Teaching kids was more exhausting than he had thought it would be. After a quick shower, he ate an onigiri straight from the box and stretched his sore muscles. Maybe he should have said yes to Naruto’s proposal...They could be fucking right now…

Sasuke shook his head, trying to forget the thoughts. Inside him, the distant growl vibrated. That day, rubbing shoulders with Naruto had been tough, of course _it_ would manifest. “It’s not supposed to be a reward.” The voice said. No. It was supposed to be rough, painful and satisfying for Naruto only. He shouldn’t even come. 

“You don’t deserve to be loved by him. You only bring despair to the ones who love you. Look at your parents. Look at Itachi. He died several times only for you to live. What a waste.” 

Sasuke swallowed and let the warm tears glide on his cheeks. It was true, all of it. Itachi’s memory was stained with treason and they were still very few to know the truth about the Uchiha massacre. Everyone he loved and loved him back had known a fatal end. 

Naruto wasn’t dead but he could have been. Just because of him. Because he was the cause of it all. Sasuke had tried to tell Naruto life would be better without him, that day at the Valley of the End. But the dumbass had thought it was better to bring him back. The wounds were still open and Sasuke was still convinced he didn’t deserve to be here. His cheeks were now damped and his eyes burning. But he hadn’t even realized he was crying that much, completely numb from all those days of loneliness.

It was only when he heard a knock on the door that he rubbed his eyes and wiped the tears with the back of his hands. He had not thought of asking who was coming to see him first and he should have because when he opened the door, Naruto - looking very cranky - was standing in front of him. His mouth pressed in a pout, the blond crossed his arms against his chest in disapprobation.

“Naruto.”

“So, how is the mission going?” He asked sarcastically.

The Uchiha didn’t have time to answer, Naruto was already in his lobby, taking his shoes off. The shinobi took off his green jacket, hung it on the back of a chair and watched his surroundings. It was his first time in Sasuke’s new apartment. The place was small, but clean and very tidy. Naruto brushed the wooden surface of the table, looked at Sasuke’s bed as if he was looking for something to scold him for. Behind this apparent composure, Sasuke was hiding the emptiness of his soul. And Naruto, out of all people, could feel it. He opened the big window to let fresh air enter and wash away the bad vibes with a relieved sigh. 

“You have a nice view of the village.” He simply stated.

Unable to ask him to leave, the Uchiha stayed speechless behind him, wondering what would be his next move. They had sex two days prior and that last encounter had been difficult for the both of them to handle. After a run in the forest to stretch their legs, they had ended in a small cabin usually used by shinobi during wars to watch the intruders coming from afar. The chakra flooding in their meridian system was giving them so much vitality they had found themselves rubbing against each other in no time. They had kicked everything that was in their way, and landed against the old creaking wooden wall.

Naruto had been so hard and eager to touch him that it had taken Sasuke all the strength he had to keep his hands away from his body. The blond had tried to undress him, kiss him and caress him the only way Sasuke would have wanted if he had allowed himself. The blond’s hands were in his hair, pulling on it deliciously, around his waist, making it look so tiny between his large palms, between his legs, malaxing his crotch with so much intensity Sasuke had tore his lip with his teeth. 

But before losing control, he had punched Naruto in the chest and pulled down his pants to grab his cock and jerk him off heartlessly. The Uzumaki had protested loudly for a second or two before losing the battle, enslaved to Sasuke’s treatment. Heavy and already slippery, Naruto’s cock was throbbing against his knuckles.

The Uchiha had not wanted to look at what he had in his hand because he had known the sight would have made him lose his mind. Instead, he had turned again and offered his ass to a confused shinobi, barely able to think. His hands dug deep into Sasuke’s hips, bruising his skin, Naruto had taken him hard against the wall. Hidden in the forest, they had been free to make all the noise in the world and the blond was using this chance to show Sasuke how much he liked being inside him, probably still hoping for an answer.

Sasuke recalled how many times Naruto had asked him if he liked it, if he was feeling good. But he had never answered him, too afraid of what he would say if he voiced what he was truly feeling. From lust or frustration - Sasuke had no idea -, Naruto had grabbed his hair and pulled it back while pounding inside him. It had hurt the Uchiha, making him tear up in silence as he had bitten his lip to keep quiet, his sight blurred by the salty drops in his eyes. 

Even when Naruto had forced him to bend so much that he was now on his knees, his face against the dirty floor, Sasuke had said nothing. But that time, he didn’t come. It had been too rough, too sad, too lonely for him to act as if he had enjoyed it. When he had finished himself, Naruto waited a few seconds inside him. As he knew he wasn’t allowed to ask questions or to touch Sasuke, it was a tricky task to know what was going on inside his lover’s body. But it was like he knew all along. Because as soon as he realized that Sasuke was even quieter than usual, Naruto slowly parted from him and gently pulled up his pants to cover him. 

He had not looked at him in the eyes, probably ashamed that he enjoyed it that much. But Sasuke wasn’t mad at him. In fact, they were reaching exactly what he was looking for. Stepping back now would ruin everything. So why the hell wasn’t he telling Naruto to get out of his house already? The blond turned around and smiled gently. 

“I’m not gonna ask you why you didn’t want to see me tonight, because you’re not going to answer.”

He made another round of Sasuke’s apartment and even opened some of the drawers. 

“I just… I want to know how you would react if I ended up in some girl’s bed tonight?”

Sasuke swallowed and didn’t blink. Was it provocation?

“Because, since your little drama three weeks ago, I’ve only fucked one person and that’s you.”

“Why are you telling me that?” Sasuke asked, hiding his relief. “Am I supposed to be flattered?”

“Always so offensive.” He sarcastically chuckled. “I’m telling you this because I want you to know that it means something to me… what we have… whatever this is.”

No! That wasn’t supposed to be that way. It was supposed to mean something to Sasuke, not to Naruto. Confused and angry with himself, the Uchiha realized he was asking for the impossible. He wanted Naruto for himself without him catching feelings? Knowing the Uzumaki… it was practically impossible.

“I wish we could talk about it… but you don’t seem ready yet. And I thought: what would be the best way for us to sort things out?”

“Fight?”

Naruto giggled and walked closer to Sasuke with a soft smile stretching the adorable whiskers on his cheeks. The Uchiha blushed and looked anywhere but on him, unable to hold his gaze.

“No, silly. Not everything has to be sorted out through violence. Even if you like it… more than I could ever imagine.”

Naruto smiled again and Sasuke noticed he was holding something behind his back. How had he not seen before? He was about to take a step back but the blond jumped on him, making him fall right on his king size bed. Trapped between the Uzumaki mighty thighs, Sasuke didn’t fight much. Now, he realized what Naruto was holding: his old and dirty shinobi headband. Before he could protest, the boy on top of him wrapped it around his head but instead of his forehead, he covered his eyes with it.

“You don’t want to wear it like the rest of us… but I’m gonna put it to good use anyway.”

“Naruto…” He pleaded with a hesitant voice.

“Shush…” He said while putting his finger on his lips.

“You know I can see through it right?”

“I know… but please… play with me a little, okay? I promise, it’s not gonna hurt… at least not really.”

“Naruto…” He implored again, not sure about what he should do.

His body wasn’t cooperating anymore. It was his chance to give Naruto what he wanted and keep him closer but what if he screwed up? What if he said or did something proving he loved him? His brain was on alert, telling him to push Naruto away, to tell him to fuck off so cruelly the blond would never want to be near him again. But his body… his body was already clinging to him, wrapping around his hips and looking for his touch. It made Naruto chuckle subtly and the Uzumaki waved against him.

“Mh… you smell so good.” He whispered against his ear.

Sasuke was already protesting as he could feel Naruto’s breath getting closer to the sensitive skin of his neck. But instead of kissing him right there, the Uzumaki did what he was allowed to do: he bit him. Not very hard but just enough to create a little mark. Sasuke was trembling in both anxiety and desire. He wasn’t going to control himself if Naruto kept being so good to him. The nips were exquisite. He couldn’t even speak because he liked it so much, the air was clogging his throat. His wrists, his collarbones, his ankles… Naruto was slightly uncovering parts of his body to bite him and it had a marveling effect on Sasuke. But every time he was shivering and panting from the nice treatment, the Uchiha was trying to get back in control. It resulted in him being extremely tense, muscles shaking in spasms of fear and legs closed like a prison cell. 

One second Naruto was on top of him, the other he was seated on the edge of the bed. Sasuke took off the headband, confused, feverish but kind of relieved. Naruto was turning his back to him, his head low and shoulders sagging. The brunette looked at the shape of his body, completely dazed by the situation and wrapped his arms around himself. Why did he stop? He seemed to enjoy it so much.

“Naruto?”

“I can’t do it.” He answered dryly.

“Do what?”

“Sleep with you. I hate it. I’ve never felt so dirty in my entire life.”

Sasuke felt his heart fall in his stomach as the pain started to spread into his whole body. Completely numb, he watched as Naruto walked to the kitchen area to drink a glass of water. What did he mean by that? That was all he was allowing himself to give to his friend and he was rejected in the most brutal way. He sat too and stared at him, looking for answers. But Naruto said nothing, probably waiting for Sasuke to finally voice what he was feeling. His chin wobbled uncontrollably and Sasuke tried to dominate the trembling in his voice. As always, anger took control over him.

“You’ve been coming in my ass for almost a month now, and you’re telling me this is disgusting?” Sasuke spat out, truly hurt.

“I never said it was disgusting.”

“You just-”

“I said I was feeling dirty.”

Sasuke mumbled and threw away the headband still in his hand. The blond looked at the piece of metal hitting the floor and sighed before retrieving it to clean it with his sleeve. Sasuke wanted to scream at him to stop being so obsessed about being the best shinobi on Earth. But he knew that it would be misplaced, since he was only mad at Naruto for being perfect because he was his exact opposite. Flawed, evil, hopeless, empty… It drew him even angrier.

“Why are you here if you hate it so much?”

“I wanted us to talk.” He answered, his voice surprisingly calm.

“You’re the one who started your bullshit five minutes ago, don’t try to pin this on me.”

“I know! Fuck, Sasuke!” This time, he had awakened the beast. “Stop being so defensive with me!”

Naruto rubbed his face furiously. The Uchiha looked at him being so tense and manly and he wished he could explain everything to him. The Jinchuuriki came back to sit on the bed, one leg on the floor, the other one bent under him to face the confused and enraged boy in front of him.

“I can’t… I don’t enjoy having sex like that.” He confessed. “At first, it was fun and all but… I need more, Sasuke.”

“You came every fucking time.”

“That’s not… that’s no proof. I came because… because you feel good and it’s a mechanical response to… why do I have to explain this to you?” The blond complained, his cheeks turning red. “This is not how I like to do it. And tonight, I tried to touch you with less brutality and it looked like torture to you.”

“What the fuck are you saying? You’re the one who stopped!” Sasuke protested as he felt tears coming to his eyes again.

“Because you clearly were not enjoying it! Do you think I like feeling like I’m forcing myself on you?”

“You’re the one with the problem.”

His friend looked like he was about to lose patience and after a long minute of silence, Naruto’s softened voice rose again.

“Please… Sasuke, try to understand what I’m saying. You are forcing me to do it your way and I’m telling you it feels wrong to me…”

Another silence ensued, but Sasuke was slowly comprehending what was happening. He had been wrong the whole time. Naruto had not been fucking him just because he was horny. He was doing it, because it was him who asked and he wanted it too. This didn’t make sense yet, but his heart tightened anyway.

“We’re not even friends anymore.” Naruto added, desperate to make Sasuke react. “Every time you want to see me, we don’t even talk. I just fuck you without even being allowed to touch you and that’s it! I miss you!”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After everything he had done, all the distance he had put between them, Naruto was still begging Sasuke to come back to him. The big blue orbs were questioning him while his lovely hand wrapped around his wrist to pull him closer.

“I can’t believe you’ve never had gentle sex that you enjoyed before… Was it so awful? I don’t mean candles and stuff… but just… regular sex in a bed.”

“I’ve never had sex before.”

Baffled, Naruto let go of his hand and closed his eyes, jaw and fists clenching.

“I thought you knew.” Sasuke added. “I told you after the restaurant the other day.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to know you were fucking dudes! After your little act in the forest…” The blond shook his head as if he was trying to erase something in his head. “You’ve let me do that to you? And you thought I would be okay hurting you that way?”

“It wasn’t your decision to take.”

Naruto laughed sarcastically and stared at the wall, unable to look at Sasuke right now. 

“It’s all my fault.” He sounded angry with himself.

“What is?” Sasuke asked.

“I’ve let you do whatever you wanted, however you wanted, for years. And this is what I get for trying to respect you and your stupid boundaries.”

Sasuke frowned. He had no idea where this sudden hateful speech was coming from but his heart was drumming heavily in his chest. Naruto had never been like that with him. He didn’t want to hear what the voice had to say about it. His friend was slipping through his fingers and right now, he realized he couldn’t lose him. He would not survive without him.

“You think you have everything under control, Sasuke?” Naruto , now standing, pointed a finger at him. “Let me tell you something: I’m the boss, here. You don’t get to order people around and make them believe your stupid way is the only way.”

Sasuke was unable to say anything that made sense because nothing that the Jinchuuriki was telling him was wrong. He could feel Naruto was so mad he could punch a wall right now. But as always, the shinobi kept his anger for himself and tamed the fury growing in his guts.

“I’ve never felt so betrayed, Sasuke. I thought you and I had something special and nothing could break it. And you used that bond for your own… whatever fuckery this is. I won’t allow it.”

Naruto retrieved his jacket from the chair.

“Where are you going?” The Uchiha asked, suddenly panicking.

“Out. I can’t be with you right now.”

He didn’t have time to protest, Naruto was already putting his shoes back on and slamming the door. An awful silence fell in the room and Sasuke let his head fall on the pillow again. “Now, that’s exactly what you deserve.” The voice said with a sinister laugh making him tremble. He had done it. He had made Naruto run away. Why didn’t it feel relieving? Why was it making things worse? “Because you weren’t supposed to feel better, Sasuke-kun.” Miserable for the rest of his life? Maybe that was it. 

Sasuke grabbed the other pillow and put it on his face, squeezing it hard against his nose and mouth. He wished he could die right now but he was too much of a coward to actually do it. Maybe he could use chidori on himself. It would be quick and painless. He would disappear from this Earth without anyone noticing. “That’s too easy.” The voice said. And he knew it. He wasn’t allowed to give up after everything he had caused. But everyday seemed like he was trapped in a Genjutsu of a horrible sort. 

As Sasuke was swallowing his tears, mouth dry and a heavy knot in his stomach, he heard a thud behind his door. It was a small noise but his sharpened shinobi senses wouldn’t miss it. He frowned and looked through the wooden panel with his Rinnegan. Naruto was still on his porch. He got back on his feet and walked quickly to the lobby to open the door. The blond was turning his back to him. Leaned on the balustrade, he was watching the sun setting down on Konoha. His sunny hair was standing out in the purplish sky. The vision was beautiful.

“Why are you still here?” He asked, his voice low and uncertain.

“Because I’m an idiot. But you’re a bigger idiot.”

He turned around and looked at Sasuke in the eyes. He was sad and it broke the Uchiha’s heart to know he was the cause of his distress… again. But in a way, he was glad Naruto had not left. The blond stared at his puffy and red eyes and chewed his cheeks. Sasuke was convinced that Naruto was ashamed he had made his friend cry.

“I want to understand what is going on with you.”

“Nothing… nothing is going on.” He answered with a broken voice.

The blond rolled his eyes and walked in again, closing the door behind him. His face was very close to Sasuke’s and he looked more serious than ever.

“I’m giving you one last chance. Prove me I can stay tonight and you won’t try to bullshit me.”

“I didn’t ask you to c-”

“Alright.” He was already pushing on the door knob.

“No! Don’t.” The Uchiha shouted as he put his hand on the door to keep it close.

“What do you want, Sasuke?”

He knew it was the last straw. But the truth was: he had no idea.

“What do you want?” Naruto reiterated, his voice now more insistent. 

“I…”

“You don’t know? Because I do. And if that doesn’t come to you as easily as it comes to me, then I shouldn’t bother. So, what do you want?”

Sasuke looked at him: cheeks flushed, jaw tense and beautiful blue eyes filled with hope. He waited as long as he could but Sasuke was letting him down again. In the dim light of his lobby, Sasuke watched Naruto’s face go from angry to disappointed.

“I don’t know why I put so much energy in this. I knew from the start you were going to act that way.” He sighed.

“It’s not about what I _want_ to have… it’s about what I _can_ have.” He finally said.

Before leaving him again, Naruto stilled for a moment, surprised by that answer. The shinobi bit his lower lip thoughtfully and finally faced his friend. Two locks of midnight hair were framing his eyes and he looked miserable. His glance softened, he leaned a little on the wall and waited patiently.

As he was unable to voice his feelings, Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand. It was the first time he was initiating contact. A real one. A chill born in his fingers ran through his entire body, making him shiver and realize how much he had missed it. The simple touch of their skins was enough to soothe his heart. Naruto looked down at their hands and let Sasuke lead the move to see what he was capable of.

The Uchiha pulled him further inside his apartment and he decided he had to do something bold to convince Naruto he wasn’t playing with him. Carried away, his other hand flew all the way to Naruto’s neck and he pulled him hard enough so their lips could meet. The blond froze for a couple of seconds before pushing Sasuke against the wall and kissing him harder. Lips, tongues and teeth were involved. Involuntarily, Sasuke lifted his legs to make Naruto step closer against him. The shinobi took that invitation and raised it by grabbing his thigh possessively. Soon, moanings echoed in the small apartment as Naruto was actively devouring Sasuke’s mouth. His heart raced so fast it felt like it was going to come out of his chest.

But it didn’t last long. The blond parted from his lips, laid a few prim smooches and dived into his eyes. Sasuke read into him. He knew a kiss wouldn’t be enough. He had to talk too. The raven-haired shinobi brought them back on the bed. His fingers were now travelling slowly up on the blond’s forearm and his shoulder before finding the bare skin of his neck. The Uzumaki let him do it as he closed his eyes and leaned a little against his palm. It made Sasuke’s heart skip a beat. The touch seemed to burn him but he was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Naruto was almost purring, looking for his affection like a kitten left alone for an entire day.

Under the pulp of his fingers, Sasuke could feel the warm and sunny skin reacting. Chills covered his friend’s throat and he followed the little bumps until the edge of his collar. As if he had heard what he was thinking about, Naruto opened his jacket and took off the traditional black shinobi top. Sasuke swallowed and kept his eyes set in Naruto’s orbs, refusing to lower his gaze. The blond stared inside him too, trying to figure out why Sasuke wouldn’t look at him or touch him.

“Hey…” He started, sitting closer. “Are you embarrassed that I’m a man?”

He didn’t sound mad or angry. He just wanted to understand. And it made Sasuke so ashamed he was putting his friend through this.

“No…”

“Then, why don’t you look at me?”

“I am…”

“No, you’re not.” He smiled and without a word, straddle Sasuke’s thighs and sat on top of him. 

The Uchiha closed his eyes harder and tried to ignore the delicious, spicy and sweet scent coming from Naruto’s body. He smelled warm, looked warm and was warm. Everything about him was welcoming and so soft, so enticing… His nose reaching right at the base of Naruto’s throat, he could see the blood pumping through his thick jugular vein. Naruto’s big hands caged his head, palms on his cheeks and fingers losing themselves in his mane of dark hair. The blond forced his partner to look at him and smiled.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said so naturally it unseated the Uchiha who opened his mouth, baffled. “Yes you are.” Naruto giggled. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you.”

“Which is…?” He asked in a whisper.

“Beautiful inside and out.”

Sasuke couldn’t help but laugh sarcastically but very soon, the chuckles transformed into an awkward squeak and tears started to run down his cheeks. There was nothing he could do about it. They were just flooding out of his eyes, out of control. Naruto lost his smile and frowned with concern. 

“Hey…” He called, surprised and shocked at the same time. “What’s going on? Sasuke?”

Behind the curtain of his dark bangs and tears, Sasuke smiled. Not because he was happy, but he understood that he had no control over anything anymore. Naruto and the dark passenger were taking all the space in his soul. There was no room for him anymore. He had no idea who he really was. The strong shinobi was looking at his friend, feeling completely hopeless. Instead of talking as he had tried to do for the past hour, he wrapped his strong arms around Sasuke’s head and sheltered it against his chest. Now coiled in the safe haven of Naruto’s body, Sasuke didn’t dare to move. The tears were still flooding out of him, but he didn’t feel any pain in his heart anymore. Under the heated skin, he could hear the strong heart beating and supplying Naruto’s body with vitality. With one hand, the Uzumaki was slowly brushing the dark hair on top of his head and keeping him close with the other. When the salty drops started to dry on his chest, he whispered:

“Are you better now?”

Without any answer coming from his friend, he risked a glimpse down on him. Sasuke had closed his eyes, drunk on Naruto’s scent. The intimacy of that moment had made a huge breach on his wall and he had no intention of filling the hole for now. His muscles had gone soft, his weary head was falling heavily against Naruto’s pec and if it wasn’t for the hand holding the back of his skull, he would fall on his side. If only it could last forever… 

His mind going dark again, Sasuke was pulled out of his reverie by the softest and mellowest lips possessing his. With hooded eyes, he watched Naruto’s face now stuck to his, his lids closed and his short nose crashing into his cheek. He had not realized what was going on yet. But slowly, his body woken up, his senses were on alert. The embrace, soft but confident, sent butterflies flying all over his body. He could feel their wings flapping under his skin, inside his stomach and around his heart which was beating fast. So fast.

Despite himself, Sasuke responded to the kiss, deepening it and pulling on Naruto’s lips as if he wanted to keep them forever. The blond moaned softly when he felt the brunette warming up against him. Tongues soon joined and the kiss transformed into a little dance they performed as if they had done it their entire lives. Sasuke couldn’t keep his eyes opened, too absorbed by the delicious sensations happening in his body as Naruto was slowly winning the game. Before he knew it, the Uchiha was on his back, the blond still straddling his hips and abusing his mouth with his teeth. He could feel Naruto’s hard-on against his thigh, but for some reason, he wasn’t hard himself. The blond noticed too and parted from his lips. 

They stared at each other and Sasuke looked away, ashamed. The blond turned his head again to make him face his responsibilities. But he didn’t complain or make a nasty comment. On the contrary, he kept licking his lips and nuzzling his face like a cat taking care of his cub.

“It’s alright.” He whispered. “We don’t have to do it tonight. We don’t always have to have sex.”

“I thought that was what you liked.”

“I like you.” Naruto smiled and kissed him again. “Mh… I wanted to do this forever.”

Sasuke let Naruto kiss him as long as the blond wanted it, just because his brain had gone quiet. There was no guilt, no voice telling him to be miserable for the rest of his life. Just the alluring sound of Naruto’s short breath and his little noises of content. After getting used to his presence against him, Sasuke finally dared to wrap his arms around him, to touch his back. He wasn’t pressing or possessing him. It was a light and shy graze over his bare ribs and the base of his nape. Naruto grinned in their embrace as he could feel the long and pale fingers trying to find the right way to hold him.

“Mh… it’s good like that, Sasuke… you can touch me… anywhere, really.” He chuckled and blushed before pulling his lover’s lower lip between his teeth. “Imma stop… your lips look so dry right now.” 

The Uchiha pressed them together and felt the chapped skin caused by Naruto’s treatment. But that was an ache he’d like to endure every day.

“What are you thinking about?” The blond softly asked, nuzzling his face again.

“I… I don’t know.”

“For a mister know-it-all you seem kinda quiet lately.” He joked and fell on his side. “Sasuke?”

“Mh?”

“Do you want to… cuddle?”

Wasn’t it what they were doing the whole time? Sasuke frowned as he spun his head to look at Naruto. The blond was biting his lip and scanning the long and lean body next to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… you and I… under the sheets with nothing on our bodies.”

“You… naked?”

“Mh…”

Sasuke watched the ceiling again and swallowed hard. He wanted it really badly. He suspected Naruto was asking him that because he had done it before and he liked the closeness. That was all Naruto: warmth and intimacy. Wordlessly, he got up and fled into the bathroom. He did not locked himself inside but just pushed the door slightly and sat on the floor to catch the freshness of the tiled floor. Behind the door, he could hear Naruto’s bare feet following him before knocking carefully. The Jinchuuriki could have entered as he pleased but he had changed. Invading his private space wasn't his method anymore. He was waiting patiently outside as if he knew Sasuke needed time.

“Sasuke? We don’t have to if you don’t feel like it… Just thought it’d be nice.”

“Why?”

“Because… it’s nice.” Sasuke heard him answer and he imagined him shrug too. “Are you crying again?”

As a response, Sasuke growled.

“Come on, get out. I can hear everything, you now.”

The Uchiha kept listening to his friend’s ranting for a whole minute before opening the door with a sceptic look on his face.

“Finally. Why did you hide?”

“I’m not hiding.”

“As you wish.” The blond smiled and walked into the bathroom, making Sasuke step back until his back was pressed against the sink. “What’s wrong? Are you that modest? I’ve seen you already, you know?”

“I… it’s too much. It’s different.”

Naruto nodded patiently and gently put his hands on the brunette’s hips.

“You allow me to touch you here. Why not elsewhere?”

“Because… here it’s.. practical to fuck.”

“What if we added agreeable to practical? Like… touching your back, your shoulders, your thighs, your butt…”

“Would it be good for you?”

“Oh yes.” He nodded frantically. “But also for you…”

“I don’t need it to be good.”

After a frown Naruto had trouble hiding, he sighed and leaned against the sink too. His arms crossed, he glanced down on their bare feet. The young man seemed to think about something important, chewing the inside of his cheeks. Sasuke stayed silent, as if he was waiting for his verdict. He had no idea why, but tonight, he was unable to hide his darkness to Naruto.

“I don’t know what is going on, Sasuke.” He broke the silence. “But I can’t stand seeing you like that anymore. I can’t be the one you use to hurt yourself.”

A heavy silence fell between them. They were both looking at the fluffy carpet under their toes, lost for words. The blond one because he had no idea how to help his friend. The dark-haired one because he felt so helpless that he had no idea if he did want any help at all.

“What can I do?”

Sasuke shrugged and tried to avoid his friend’s concerned gaze. 

“I think you need me more than you’re willing to admit. Not just as a lover, but as a friend. So, I’m gonna be here, Sasuke. As I always was.”

“It’s no use.”

“You don’t have a say. I told you: I’m the boss here.”

His imperious tone made something twitch in the Uchiha’s stomach and he welcomed the sensation with open arms. Cheeks reddening, Sasuke smiled softly and Naruto chuckled while wiping the beads of tear forming on the corner of his friends’ eye. 

“Come on, stop crying.”

He took his hand and pulled him into the bedroom again so they could lie down in silence. The place seemed warmer when Naruto was around and naked or not, Sasuke felt entirely bare before his eyes.

“You have to know that sometimes I need to talk to you too.” Naruto confided. “And it’s getting hard because it’s like you’re not available to be my friend anymore.”

“You have Shikamaru.” Sasuke said, a little bit too bitterly than he wished.

“I can’t believe you’re jealous of Shikamaru. Baka. I don’t suck his dick.”

“You don’t suck mine either.”

“Because you don’t let me.”

“Ah.” Was all Sasuke managed to say and Naruto bursted into laughter next to him. He had no idea what was so funny but he knew Naruto would spit very fast.

“You’re just so clueless about everything.” He added with a smile. “You’re so focused on getting things under your control and doing everything your way you don’t see how much you’re missing out… in every aspect of your life.”

“You don’t need to be rude about it…”

“I’m not being rude. I’m concerned and mad that you could make yourself miserable just for the sake of it.”

“It’s not that easy.” Sasuke thought. But buried under the weight of guilt, he wasn’t ready to unveil the entire truth. He had made a big step tonight, and he felt already lighter even though he knew it was far from over. In the back of his head, the growling had started to echo, a sign that the voice was going to strike him again soon. In an attempt to escape it a little longer, Sasuke rolled into Naruto’s arms to find shelter. The young blond watched him, surprised by this sudden change but said nothing. Instead, he wrapped his arm around the body that looked so small against him and rocked him slowly. 

“Can you talk, please?” The Uchiha pleaded so low Naruto had to stop breathing to hear him.

“About what?”

“Anything you want. I just don’t want to hear the silence.”

Because Sasuke never heard silence. 

“Okay… hm… why don’t we play a game?”

“What game?”

“Hm… I ask questions, you answer.”

“Naruto…”

“What? I promise it won’t be what you think. At least, not all the time.”

Sasuke sighed and Naruto giggled, pretty proud of himself.

“Okay, I start. Do you like living in Konoha again?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

“My turn.”

“That wasn’t the rule!” Naruto protested.

“The rule changed. Why did you agree to sleep with me the first time?”

“Ugh. Seems obvious, isn’t it?”

“Answer…”

“Because I’ve always liked you. And I never thought you’d like me back this way…”

Sasuke tried to register what he was saying without being too overwhelmed.

“Do you really like being hurt?” Naruto took over.

“Hm… I don’t know… it depends how. Did you really hate doing it with me?”

“Of course not… but honestly… it was only good because you’re hot and you’re you.”

Unexpectedly for the both of them, Sasuke started laughing like a child who had just found a candy. Naruto joined him and rolled on his side to watch him, enjoying that short and rare moment of peace.

“I mean it.” He whispered. “Being inside you is… the most intense experience of my life… And I had my fair share of intensity. But you… you are so good and so… I can’t explain it. It’s like something that was meant to be. Like fate.”

Sasuke blushed and pressed his lips in guilt because he had never felt what his lover was talking about. It felt like he was betraying him again for not sharing what he was supposed to feel when they were having sex.

“You can’t feel it, Sasuke.” Naruto said and Sasuke looked at him, baffled by his clairvoyance. “You don’t allow yourself to feel it.”

Naruto was right. There was nothing he had said that was wrong or misplaced. He had read through Sasuke’s soul without him telling anything about the battle happening inside him. If he opened the door just a little, Naruto would instantly swipe in and fight all of his demons. That was a comforting thought but Sasuke didn’t want to flee anymore. He couldn’t let Naruto do all the work, not again. 

Since he wasn’t going to get anything done at this hour of the night, he slowly unzipped Naruto’s pants and pulled it down as gently as he could. The long and muscular legs covered with a golden fuzz appeared before him. The sight was very alluring but he wasn’t feeling horny yet. Just extremely tired and in need of contact. Reading into his eyes, Naruto pulled him against him and put the blanket over them, his arm stretching to switch off the light. 

Sasuke sighed, unable to find the right position that would fit the both of them. He turned right, left, on his back and on his stomach again. His only thought was to not get too close to Naruto and incommode him. But the blond seemed amused by the ballet happening right next to him. He put an end to it, his arm wrapping tightly against Sasuke’s chest, his own body spooning him from behind.

“You’re good?” He asked.

“Hm… yes… thanks.”

“Good night, babe.”

Sasuke tensed and heard Naruto giggle softly in his ear. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Lots of things to unpack here. Things are slowly shifting. I don't know what you guys think but this was a wild ride into Sasuke's mind!
> 
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting, you guys are the best!  
> xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi thereeee!  
> It took sooooo long for me to post this chapter (yes, 5 days is a long time for me) but I had so much work and I took the train so I apologize for the delay!  
> I re-wrote this one, which was a lot shorter in the beginning, so I hope you'll enjoy it. We're getting more and more fluff, but don't worry, angst-fanatics, I still got something up my sleeves!
> 
> xx

On his way out of Kakashi’s office, Sasuke sighed. The Hokage had nothing for him. Not one single mission to get him out of the village even for one day. He had left early in the morning, before Naruto could wake up just so he could catch some fresh air and have a moment of silence. Even though it looked like it, he didn’t want to escape his new relationship with his friend. He just thought that he needed some time to figure out how to get better without always waiting for Naruto’s help. The night before had been exhausting for the both of them and he didn’t want to overburden the Jinchuuriki with his problems.

But he could already hear the shinobi getting mad at him for it. Naruto wouldn’t understand that he wanted to do it alone. Even if that was what he had always done. Maybe he was right after all. Every time Sasuke had done something on his own, the result had not been very satisfying. He felt a little bit of guilt spreading through his guts as he remembered the face of his friend, still asleep on his pillow. The morning light was shyly grazing over his bare torso and he was holding the blanket between his thick thighs. 

Sasuke had looked at him for some time, admiring his long, blond lashes and the bright locks of hair covering his forehead. With the tip of his fingers, he had traced love lines on his cheek before laying a light kiss on his generous lips. Naruto had frowned and smiled while sleeping. “Usuratonkachi.” Sasuke had whispered before lowering his gaze on his chest, slowly rising with his breath. He had admired for a moment his chiseled muscles and the line of dark blond hairs disappearing in his white underwear. He had wished he was daring enough to touch him just like Naruto deserved to be touched.

But his confession had confused him. Did the Jinchuuriki really love him that way? And why had those simple words been enough to soothe the ache in his soul? How could Naruto make the voice disappear? Sasuke sighed again as he strolled around the village. Being alone was all he knew, but it was not what he needed. This truth had been proven right many times since the end of the war. Maybe he should take Kakashi’s rejection as a sign that he should let Naruto in, completely. 

When he got back into his apartment, the place was empty. His bed was properly made, the dishes were cleaned and the air was fresh, as if somebody had opened the windows for a moment. Did Naruto make all of this? Probably, since he was gone. Sasuke hoped he wasn’t too mad at him for leaving at dawn. Heading to the bathroom, he noticed a piece of white fabric sticking out of the sheets of his bed. He pulled it out to see what it was and dropped it with a shout of horror. It was a pair of underpants. Naruto’s underpants.

Sasuke watched the piece of evidence, cheeks blushing and hand covering his mouth in discomfort. What was that? He ran to the bathroom, splashed his face with cold water and looked at himself in the mirror. So, that was it? He was getting wildly banged in every possible situation but he couldn’t face a boxer brief? After a moment of hesitation, Sasuke carefully glanced at the item still on the floor and sighed. This wasn’t terrifying at all. Just a piece of fabric… Why would Naruto leave this here?

“Asshole.” He said out loud.

He had been wrong, Naruto could be manipulative sometimes. The blond knew it would upset Sasuke and make him think. He had done this out of real purpose, just not as a stupid joke. Even though he had to admit that was a pretty daring souvenir from his lover. To clear his head, Sasuke took a short shower. Under the hot steam, his mind lingered on the thought of the white underpants on his floor. He had seen Naruto half naked that morning, wearing those. His skin had touched it, it probably even smelled like him. Sasuke blushed and furiously washed his hair. Stupid Naruto and his stupid ideas.

After getting dressed, he swallowed a glass of iced coffee and checked his appearance in his mirror. He wasn’t wearing the Konoha ninja outfit when he wasn’t on missions. Instead, he had put on a casual black t-shirt and black trousers, short on the ankles. It was a pretty hot Fall day and he thought about going out for a bit to enjoy the warm breeze. But first, he had to find Naruto to give him his stupid… panties.

“Now, how should I carry this?” He growled while grabbing the fabric with the tip of two fingers. At the touch of the cheap underpants, Sasuke couldn’t contain a soft smile. That fucker really left his underwear in his bed, for him to find and bring back. Invigorated by a feeling of unexpected content, Sasuke stuffed the item in his pocket and went on a stroll to find his friend. He walked for one hour straight, but the blond was nowhere to be found. Not his apartment, not Ichiraku’s, not the Hokage tower… and something else was odd: he had not seen any of his other companions either. Konoha had been emptied of the shinobi of his generation. 

Sasuke walked and walked until he reached the ancient neighborhood on the edge of the village. This was where he had been raised: the Uchiha’s compound. Around him were the last remains of what Konoha looked like before Pain’s attack. A stray cat came purring against his legs and Sasuke kneeled to greet it. The animal looked at him in the eyes and the shinobi gave it a ninja energy ball he found in his pouch. He let it lick it until the ball became soft enough that it could bite into it. He had always been good with cats. Probably because he had visited the store of that Nekobaa so many times with his brother. 

Resuming his stroll, Sasuke climbed over a rock to enter the gates of the Uchiha’s compound. Nobody cared about this part of town anymore. The place was deserted, of course, but some of the buildings still stood. Nature had grown, trees invading the walls, ivy branches covering the houses and dead leaves littering the ground. Sasuke watched where the soil had cracked during Pain’s attack and followed the path between the houses. Behind rocks and dead trees, he saw the disaster the leader of the Akatsuki had made. Particles of dust were oddly floating in the air, as if time and gravity had stopped working there. 

Between the rubbles, roots, leaves and flowers had grown, transforming the neighborhood in a peaceful cemetery for his memories. It didn’t look like there had been life once. Of course, life was long gone in the Uchiha’s quarter. But that didn’t mean he wanted the place to disappear. Nobody cried the Uchihas besides him. There was no one but him to remember all of them and their souls deserved a place to rest. He just wished something could be done for that part of town.

He walked until he could reach the untouched part of the compound and breathed deeply. A breeze ran through his hair and led him to his old street. Sasuke stopped for a moment and sat on a bench by his former house. It was peaceful, quiet, as if nothing had ever happened. Sasuke’s sight travelled from the wall where Itachi had broken their clan’s symbol to the wooden steps in front of the house. When he was young, Sasuke thought the steps were so big they were hard to climb. The streets - which used to look so vast - the red and white fans painted on the facades, even the Naka Shrine he could see from afar… Everything used to be a gigantic universe to little Uchiha Sasuke. Now a grown man, he realized how small everything was. Like the mind of the men that had precipitated the clan into chaos.

Pushed by the light wind, leaves danced at his feet and landed on the steps. The dark-haired boy stood and walked to the door of his old house. Under his shoes, the dirty wood creaked. He laid his hand flat on the door but didn’t dare to push it. He could hear the silence of that night. Not a comforting one, but the silence of death. Even as a youngling, Sasuke had been clairvoyant enough to understand what was happening and smell the metallic scent of blood. Closing his eyes, he let drops of cold sweat glide down his spine for a moment before finding the will to breath again. He had to get out of here. He wasn’t ready to face the tragedy. At least not on his own.

But it was too late. A cold air sweeped around him and he knew it had nothing to do with the weather. He was imagining things, it was all in his head. The voice echoed again. Unintelligible at first, but growing louder until he could hear the words forming in his brain. 

“The Uchihas are dead. You should be too.” His lids pressed harder. “Open the house. Find your fate, like your parents did.” His fingers began to sweat on the wooden door but he couldn’t move. The air got stuck inside his lungs again and he prayed very hard for the voice to stop. It was supposed to be a good day, he wanted to enjoy it, even if that was selfish and undeserved.

“Your father. Your mother. Your grand-parents. They’re all dead, Sasuke-kun.” The voice was louder now, punctuating each sentence with long breaths and a sarcastic chuckle. Sasuke found the strength to turn over and lean against the door. He wanted to stop the voice before it mentioned his brother. He wanted to find the will to make it shut up by himself. He had to put his mind to it, find something strong enough and loud enough to cover the sound of that evil presence inside him. He didn’t want to be miserable for the rest of his life. He had other options. He knew it now.

There he was, facing the sun and its warmth was caressing his pale skin. It was agreeable, soothing, soft… The mighty rays were piercing through his lids, making everything white, clear and welcoming. The breeze blew again and its pleasant touch grazed on Sasuke’s cheek, like a hand against his skin. Naruto’s warm hand.

Sasuke opened his eyes at once. The buzzing in his ears disappeared and he found composure again. Around him, everything had gone back to normal. He wasn’t cold or feeling nauseous anymore. Birds chirping over his head, Sasuke walked out of his street, deciding that it was enough for today. Now, he was convinced that his fight against the darkness inside him wouldn’t be won if he didn’t surround himself with pure light. 

The Uchiha’s compound was located at the edge of the village, not very far from the forest and the river. As he was walking out, Sasuke heard joyful cheers happening on the other side of the fences. Unable to resist the call, he followed the sounds when he recognized some voices. His heart beat faster and he had no idea why. Maybe because he was getting excited at the idea of seeing familiar faces. It wasn’t like him to look for this like this, but his heart needed a security blanket. He just knew that on the other side of the woods, there would be something warm and welcoming.

Sasuke appeared on the edge of the forest as quickly as a thunderbolt and watched the scenery from afar. They were all here, all his companions from the academy, playing in the river. The boys, the girls, even that big white dog Kiba was taking everywhere with him. And in the center, as always, a flash of yellow hair almost blinded him. They were enjoying that rare warm day of Fall to take a break from their shinobi responsibilities. Naruto jumped in the water, shouting like a child and swam toward the girls to scare them. Of course, he was greeted by a punch on the skull by Sakura and Sasuke couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

After the nerve racking experience he had just lived, that sight was slowly making him feel alive again. But he was a bit envious. Seeing all of them, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their skin, running on the clear water and eating fresh fish from the river… Sasuke was now lost in an ocean of regrets. He had never formed real bonds with them and it was all his fault. The buzzing started again and he clenched his fists in angst. “Not so fast, not now.” He thought. He focused on what he was seeing rather than hearing. Maybe this would soothe his soul a little. The Uchiha was so focused on keeping the voice buried deep that he had not noticed that someone was approaching. Tall, broad, tanned and wet, Naruto caught him off guard and wrapped his arms around him. The surprising contact woke him up from his torpor.

“Fuck! Naruto! You’re wet! And cold!”

“Don’t be a sissy!” He laughed and hugged him tighter.

Sasuke pushed him away and took a few steps back before turning to walk away. But the blond’s big hand was faster and Naruto grabbed his wrist to stop him. Sasuke couldn’t ignore the sparkling drops gliding down Naruto’s face and chest. He was a vision. His body was strong, healthy and so warm… Since when was he so big, anyway?

“Where are you going? Come with us.” Naruto said, tilting his head in an adorable way.

“I was not invited.” Sasuke pouted.

“Don’t be a child… I would have told you if you had stayed in bed this morning. Where were you?”

“Looking for… a mission.” He answered, shamefully.

“See? You were already trying to get away. Have you found my gift?” Naruto asked with the sneakiest smile.

“Yes. I have.” Sasuke retorted dryly, but with the hint of a smile.

Naruto laughed again and patted the Uchiha’s pocket.

“It’s fine here, you can keep it.”

“I’m not going to-”

But Sasuke was shut up by soft lips against his. Sheltered behind the trees, Naruto had pinned him against a trunk and was slowly kissing him. Surprised at first, Sasuke had kept his eyes open, but quickly, the exquisite sensation in his body had forced him to give up and close his lids. The butterfly's wings were here again, flapping their wings in his stomach and everywhere Naruto was touching him. There wasn’t much fabric between them and, as many times as they had fucked, Sasuke was still not used to be so intimate. 

The Uchiha felt Naruto’s hip bones and his hard pec against him and it blew him away. How could this be so good? The blond was a skilled kisser and he was touching him so perfectly that he even moaned softly. Naruto parted at once and looked at him, marveled and astonished. 

“So, you do make noises.”

“Hm… shut up.” He blushed.

“Sorry, but that’s just super hot. It’s a shame I don’t hear this more often.” With another smooch, Naruto laid his warm hands on Sasuke’s hips and smiled. “Please, stay. I’ll be with you.”

Another of his requests he couldn’t refuse. Sasuke watched the lines on his friend’s face. Relaxed, soft, masculine and so lovable. He wished he was like him and could just give him what he wanted without thinking about it. But Sasuke was different. He was afraid of letting the voice take over and hurt Naruto the way it was hurting himself. The blond kept asking with his beautiful eyes, frowning his nose to make Sasuke laugh. Charmed by his friend’s irresistible smile, the Uchiha had no other choice but to give in. 

The blond took his hand, shamelessly dragging him out of the woods in front of everyone. But Sasuke didn’t see them and didn’t pay attention to their greetings. The young shinobi was more focused on Naruto’s spine, the dimples on his loins and the nice swell of his ass in his orange bathing suit. The Jinchuuriki invited Sasuke to sit with him on a rock with a smile and the shinobi obeyed awkwardly. He had put a little distance between them and the others so Sasuke could relax a little. 

“You should take off your shoes and put your feet in the water. It feels good.”

Watching him do it, Sasuke followed Naruto and plunged his feet in the river up to his calves after he had rolled his pants. It was true, it felt as if the flood was washing every bad vibe away, carrying the bad memories down the waterfalls a few meters away.

“Where were you all morning?” The blond asked softly.

“Looking for you… and in the Uchiha’s compound.”

“Oh… are you okay?”

Sasuke shrugged and swallowed silently. Naruto said nothing but he felt his fingers slowly crawling over his to show how concerned he was. Sasuke appreciated the small gesture, knowing how much it meant. 

“It’s still painful to go there.” He finally admitted.

“We should go together… I want to hear your story.” The Uzumaki finally said.

“What do you mean?”

“I know that if you ask me about my mom and dad, even though I only have memories we made in my head or during the war… I’ll be glad to talk about them. It’s a bit like I’m reviving them again and they’re still with me. So, if that makes you feel better to talk about your family… I want to hear it.”

Sasuke watched Naruto’s side. The beautiful and messy blond hair was falling wet on his forehead, drops of sparkly water decorating his long eyelashes, whiskers looking cute as usual… and he had that soft smile Sasuke had always thought fascinating… this ability to always smile even when he was sad. He found himself very eager to kiss him on the lips and on his little and adorable nose to erase every bad thing that had ever happened to him. But Sasuke was certainly not the right person to do that. It would be brazen of him to think otherwise. Naruto turned to face him, his blue eyes piercing through Sasuke’s heart and asked:

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He waited but nothing came out of Sasuke’s open mouth. In spite of that silence, the blond chuckled as he noticed redness spreading all over Sasuke’s face and throat. The Uzumaki bit his lips and watched their friends behind them. None of them were paying attention to the two lovers on the rock. Naruto took his chance and laid a light and quick peck on Sasuke’s lips. Both of them had their heart drumming hard and loud in their chest. It was probably the most romantic thing they had done since … ever, actually. Suddenly, Sasuke wished they had not fucked yet. 

“Did… did I ruin things between you and me?” He asked, looking at his feet playing with the soft waves.

“No… I’m pretty sure nothing is ever ruined between the two of us.”

“But… the way I treated you…”

“You always treat me badly, Sasuke. Sorry, but it’s true.” His tone was a bit more serious and the Uchiha nodded. He needed that little wakeup call anyway.

“I know. Things are a little… odd lately.” He said, trying to ignore the sweat covering his hands.

“Lately?” The blond chuckled. “It’s alright. I know you do that to me because you know I can take it.”

“But you… aren’t you mad? I mean… It’s not fair to you!”

“I’m sad, and mad… but I know where I’m going. I told you I needed you by my side for my project as a Hokage. I meant it. You just need to find your balance back.”

A weird silence fell between them. He didn’t want to talk about the shinobi world or even politics. But how could he tell him that he meant their relationship without mentioning it? His cheeks literally boiling with shyness, Sasuke cleared his throat and subtly rubbed his foot against Naruto’s ankle. Next to him, Naruto looked down and observed the awkward attempt of his friend to flirt. The Jinchuuriki didn’t move and slowly, Sasuke became a bit more insistent.

“I meant… hm… you and I… as… you know.”

“Oh. Well, hm… I’m not going to lie. You hurt me a lot.”

Sasuke swallowed heavily. He was prepared for that answer because that was the truth. But hearing it like this… it felt like he was stabbing Naruto. Him, who was never making his friends guilty, was now remorselessly telling Sasuke he was an asshole. And his voice was so calm, it made the brunette even more miserable. Naruto had time to process his pain and put words onto it. Sasuke was just here, waiting for the Jinchuuriki to save him again.

“Sasuke, it’s not like I’m going to let you hurt me.” He added with a soft smile. “I know how to handle your anger, now. And I understand that you’re not going to feel better just because we won the war and you came back. This takes time and I can wait.”

“This was never my plan. I never wanted to hurt you when we started...it. Some things are just out of my control. And it makes me mad.”

“I know. But you also have to remember that when you are in pain, I am too.”

“Naruto…”

“Don’t Naruto me. Think about it instead. Think about what you want for yourself, where you want to be in ten or twenty years from now.”

Sasuke looked at him, his foot now between Naruto’s ankles. The answer appeared loud and clear in his brain. It was like a flashing light sign that kept flashing behind his lids. He wanted to be by Naruto’s side when he’d be Hokage. He wanted to be his sword, his right arm and the one he kissed every night. The blond turned his head to greet him with a confident grin and inside his blue eyes, Sasuke could read that his friend knew that he was not ready to say it out loud. Instead, Naruto giggled and sent a big splash of cold water in his face with his feet before jumping to run on the river’s surface. Sasuke screamed and followed him. The chase lasted less than a minute, resulting in the both of them losing focus on their chakra. 

As Sasuke jumped on Naruto’s back, they fell and hit the bottom of the river. Hidden by the depth, they looked at each other with intensity. Naruto almost choked with surprise when Sasuke pulled him by his bathing suit to give him a passionate underwater kiss. This was his response to Naruto’s question. It was a clumsy, quick and toothy kiss but they were both laughing with delight when they reappeared at the surface, sharing a knowing glance. Their clueless friends cheered and helped them to get back on the shore. Feeling like he could give himself a break, Sasuke undressed to dry his clothes under the sun.

The Uchiha caught a glimpse of Naruto’s envious look as he uncovered his long legs and stayed half naked. For the first time, Sasuke realized he had that kind of power over him. What he was doing affected the Uzumaki on another level. Out of curiosity, Sasuke brushed his pale chest with the flat of his hand. He let his fingers linger around his nipple, scratching a little there, then made them travel down on his groin and waited for Naruto’s reaction. The blond opened his mouth a little and turned his back to him, crossing his arms and watching the horizon. Sasuke stood by his side and waited for him to comment.

“So, I can’t touch you in bed.” He whispered without looking at him. “But you’re playing with me in front of everyone?”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Asshole.”

Sasuke chuckled and left Naruto alone to go sit with Sakura. Unfortunately, Sai was next to her too. The pink-haired girl looked at him in surprise and finally smiled.

“I’m glad you’re doing stuff with us. It feels like our childhood all over again. Not that you ever participated but… you were always close to us.”

He said nothing but let her pat his shoulder in a maternal way. Sai, on the other hand, was scanning his face, trying to read what was going on inside his head. He had always found the former Anbu member a bit odd. Maybe it was his pasty skin, or the way he was smiling… or perhaps, it was the fact that the young man was always right about everything. And this time, he hit the right spot again.

“Are you and Naruto involved?” He said, bluntly.

“What?” Sakura squeaked. “What are you saying, Sai?!”

“I’m asking Sasuke if him and Naruto-kun are boyfriends.”

Sasuke looked at Sai with defiance in his eyes. But as confused as he was himself, he wasn’t ashamed about Sai’s comment or even trying to deny it. “And what if we are?” he tried to tell him with thunderbolts in his black and purple orbs.

“Sasuke?” Sakura called, eagerly waiting for an answer.

“Sakura-chan, silence is already a very telling answer.” Sai answered to her with one of his famous knowing smiles.

The Uchiha ignored him and lied down to dry under the sunlight. Confused, Sakura stayed silent for a moment, then rested her head next to Sasuke’s and added:

“It was about time.”

The two shinobi didn’t comment more on Sasuke almost admission. In a way, it made his heart swell bigger in his chest. He wasn’t the kind of guy who had any concern about what others might be thinking. But he wasn’t alone in this anymore. Naruto was the hero of the nation and he didn’t want people to think poorly about him just because he was involved with the Uchiha. Receiving Sakura’s blessing was the first step. 

It didn’t take long for Sasuke to miss the Jinchuuriki. Even if he was just around, having fun with his friends. But he wanted to be included. He wanted Naruto to need him. He sat again, unable to stay still and observed him from afar. The blond was racing against Lee in the river. Both of them were swimming hysterically and trying to win over the other. The tireless shinobi were reaching the other side of the shore and coming back in no time. 

Sasuke stood and walked to welcome him as Naruto was pulling himself out of the water, drops gliding down his smocking hot body. Before he could call him, a massive arm fell on his shoulders and squeezed him. Sasuke turned his head, feeling awkward and a bit repulsed by somebody’s naked skin touching his own naked skin. Kiba was smiling at him and shaking him like a tree.

“Uchiha wants to race too!”

“No, I don’t!” He protested.

“You guys should do it together!” Lee shouted while pointing at Kiba and Sasuke.

Sasuke choked on his saliva and prayed for the rush of blood on his cheeks to not be that obvious. Unaware of the sexual character of his proposition, Lee jumped cheerfully around them as Kiba was already wrapping his arm around Sasuke’s waist to make everybody laugh. Sasuke tried to push the Inuzuka away, his heart pounding in his chest. He had nothing against a good joke, but he’d rather not be the center of the attention while being touched by somebody he barely knew. Kiba fainted to kiss him as Sasuke was trying to push him away him, his face torn in horror. 

“Kiba! Let go of me, you pervert!”

Around them, the ninja were still laughing as Lee was apologizing for his mistake. Sasuke sent him an evil glance that made the taijutsu expert fall on his knees to ask for his forgiveness.

“Come on Sasuke!” Kiba laughed again. “You’d be very cute at our wedding with flowers in your hair!”

Sasuke watched in terror as Kiba’s lips were getting closer to his cheek. He knew it was just a joke and that he should play along. But he was still Uchiha Sasuke. He would not let that filthy man-dog touch him like this. As he was about to send a punch into his face, a voice, like a growl, resonated. 

“Oi.”

Kiba froze and looked behind him. Sasuke, completely bent backwards to avoid that stupid kiss, felt a sentiment of pride blooming inside him. They were still laughing as Kiba straightened up and let go of Sasuke. For a brief moment, the two men stared at one another in the eyes. The Uchiha swept the invisible dirt on his skin as if he was trying to forget what had just happened. He noticed that the air had thickened and that Kiba and Naruto were still taken by their staring contest. He felt like the innocent prey trapped between two predators.

All of the others had resumed their conversations, not bothered by what was happening on the shore. But Naruto was scanning Kiba with his jaw tense and his pupils narrowed in his eyes. Sasuke had trouble understanding what was going on but Kiba nodded and smiled. He walked to his friend and laid a hand on his shoulder. The Uchiha couldn’t stay excluded for too long and he got closer to know what they were talking about.

“I had no idea you were this serious about it.” Kiba chuckled.

Naruto’s face relaxed and he smiled apologetically with a scratch behind his head. Sasuke had no idea what they were talking about.

“Sorry, it was a joke and I was a bit rude.”

“Nah. I get it. I’m the same with my girl.”

Kiba pat Naruto’s back and walked away, throwing a last wink at Sasuke. The Uchiha looked at him sitting against a tree with Hinata and he frowned.

“What was that?” He asked as Naruto was drying his hair with a towel.

“Nothing.” Naruto avoided him.

“Do… do they know?”

“We should talk about it later.”

And just like that, the Jinchuuriki sat with Shikamaru and Neji. For once, Sasuke was the clueless one. He joined Sakura again but this time, he kept his eyes on Naruto, observing him and trying to understand what was going on. They spent the entire afternoon like that, until the sun declined and the girls complained that it was getting too cold to stay there. After retrieving their stuff, the group of shinobi walked cheerfully into the woods. Sakura had joined Ino and Sasuke was following the group, his hands in his pocket, still thinking about what had happened by the river. 

Once they reached the village, Chôji invited all of them to go to the night market and enjoy some street food and a drink. Sasuke was feeling tired by that exhausting day and Naruto had not spoken to him since that moment. He should probably go home and rest. The blond looked like he was having fun without him, anyway. The Uchiha was watching them from the outside. They were all part of something bigger than them. They all had a role to play in the village, thanks to Naruto.

As he was painfully swallowing his jealousy, Sasuke realized that he would never have that if he didn’t make an effort. Naruto wouldn’t always drag him to restaurants and parties to make sure he was included. He had to make friends too. He had to prove Naruto that he was trying. As they all headed to the old town where the night market was held, Sasuke followed them in silence, his heart beating fast with anxiety.

He had never realized he was this shy. Always hidden behind his dark mask and the Uchiha DNA, Sasuke was slowly finding who he really was: a young man who had never lived like a true human being. He had everything to learn again. It was frightening and thrilling at the same time. He just wished that Naruto would stick around long enough to watch him grow.

When they reached the central place, the market was busy. Pink, red and orange lights had been hung all over the stalls and a cheerful atmosphere was reigning over the village. Sasuke followed them to the food area where they gathered chairs and tables to sit all together. With five seats under his arm, Naruto bumped into Sasuke who had already bought several bottles of beer for all of them to share. The blond looked at him, surprised that he was still here. After the shock, he smiled and said:

“Keep me a seat next to you.”

They were here for two hours now. Alcohol was flowing freely, Chôji had eaten at least fifty takoyaki already and Naruto was a bit tipsy next to Sasuke. The blond was leaning a bit on him as he bursted into laughter when Shikamaru finished his story. The Uchiha smiled. He was having a good time. That evening was different from the previous ones. Naruto was next to him, his ankle was brushing against his calf from time to time, he was whispering things into his ear even though the ambient sound wasn’t that loud. They sometimes exchanged a grin. And as if it wasn’t already obvious that they were flirting, the two shinobi were sharing the same beer bottle and purposely touched each other every time they’d fetch it in the other's hand. 

Even slightly drunk, Sasuke could catch some inquisitive glances toward them. But none of their friends really looked surprised. In fact, they all made use of that romantic atmosphere to find their own partners for the night. Sasuke watched Sai and Ino holding hands on the opposite side of their circle and he chewed his cheek.

“Did you have a good time?” Naruto asked as he finished their bottle.

“Yes… I truly did.”

“I’m glad. I hope I won’t have to drag you, next time.”

Sasuke grinned and looked at his hands hidden between his thighs. It was getting a bit cold and he was shivering with tiredness. Though, he didn’t want to leave. Naruto looked sweet, he smelled good and he wanted to take advantage of that moment where none of them was crying, screaming or else. 

“What happened with Kiba?”

“Come on, Sasuke. Do we need to talk about this?”

“Yes… I want to know.”

The Jinchuuriki sighed and looked at Sasuke in the eyes. They stared for a moment and when Naruto realized that his friend wouldn’t look down, he shook his head with an embarrassed wince and took a deep breath.

“We kind of dated the same girl a few months ago. Not dated but like… we were both interested in her.”

Now, Sasuke wasn’t sure he wanted to know more about this. But his curiosity was out of control. He nodded to encourage Naruto even if, inside, he wished the blond wouldn’t say something hurtful.

“It wasn’t something really serious and now, we joke about it. But when I saw him touch you, even for a prank, all I could think about was: what if Sasuke wants to try other guys or he finds someone else?”

Sasuke opened his mouth and let his eyes ball in surprised. Was Naruto seriously admitting he was jealous over a joke? It reassured the Sharingan bearer: he wasn’t the only one with facing that issue.

“Anyway, I reacted stupidly for that reason. I didn’t want somebody else to be close to you. And also, I knew you wouldn’t like being touched. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think that I’m marking my territory or treating you like my thing.”

Sasuke started to laugh hysterically and Naruto watched him, baffled. His chest jolting with joy, he wiped his eyes filled with happy tears and shook his head. He had no idea why this was making him so ecstatic, but something had changed inside him. Soon, Naruto joined his laughter and the both of them giggled like teenagers. Once they calmed down, Sasuke slithered his fingers on Naruto’s thigh and grabbed his hand.

“You really surprised me today.” The blond said as he tightened his grip. “Thank you for making the effort.”

“I want to feel what you feel when we’re together.” He blushed.

“Oh…” Naruto bit his lip and looked down, also hiding the redness on his cheeks. “I’m not used to hear those things coming from you.”

“Maybe I’m a bit drunk.”

They laughed again and their lips met shyly without any of them making the first step. They had both leaned in and let their body answer for them. Empowered by the romantic atmosphere of the night and the taste of anko on Naruto’s lips, Sasuke suckled his mouth with his tongue.

“Hey! Lovebirds! Don’t go home too late!” Ino interrupted them with a smile as she was walking away, Sai’s arm around her waist.

The two shinobi giggled, confused and a bit ashamed they got caught. 

“So, I guess they know.”

“Did you tell them?”

“I mentioned that we were getting to know each other… but I didn’t give any personal details.”

So, no one knew Sasuke had been abusive toward Naruto. His stomach twitched. He was glad only him knew all about his darkness but he felt bad his lover had to deal with it by himself, as always. Noticing he was getting gloomy, Naruto kissed him again.

“Come on, I walk you back home.”

They strolled around the village in a comfortable silence. The restaurants were closing as they were reaching Sasuke’s neighborhood. This time, they were walking very close to each other and not trying to control the tension building between them. Once again, they stopped under the streetlamp and looked at each other, lost for words.

“Are you staying tonight?” Sasuke asked with a hesitant but hopeful voice.

“No, I have a mission early next morning. I have to prepare.”

“Oh… okay.”

“But I’ll see you in a few days. Okay?”

Sasuke nodded and smiled. He would have wanted to fall asleep in his arms tonight but he had to respect his friend’s boundaries. Maybe Naruto needed time for himself too. Maybe he was trying to put distance between them to take care of his own mind. Maybe he wasn’t sure he would be able to resist the need to have sex again when they had so many things to sort out. As the Uchiha was lost in his thoughts, he blenched slightly when Naruto laid a loving kiss on his mouth. His lips were soft, still sweet and a bit sticky from the desserts he had eaten. The blond took his time to part, his hands pulling a little on the hem of Sasuke’s t-shirt. After caressing his long nose with his short one, Naruto smiled and took a step back.

“Good night, Sasuke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of you who are still here, reading, leaving kudos and commenting. This means the world to me!
> 
> xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!   
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. I'm so glad you guys still like this story. Christmas is just around the corner, so I hope you'll like this chapter. It's even fluffier than the one before but I feel like these guys need it!

It had been a week since that day by the river and Sasuke had not seen Naruto once. He had not tried to contact the Jinchuuriki, but unexpectedly, neither did Naruto. He knew he had gone on a mission but had no idea where he was supposed to return. He should have by now. It was five in the morning and Sasuke was watching the shadows dancing on his ceiling. His arms tucked behind his head, he sighed. Was he disappointed? Yes. Was it Naruto’s fault? Not really. He had realized that the Uzumaki couldn’t be the only one reaching for him every time. 

If the first days after that joyful day with his companions had been enough to soothe Sasuke’s mind, his self-confidence and ability to remain sane was slowly fading. The last two days had been a struggle and he had not been able to sleep through the entire night. Weary and jaded, the Uchiha sat on his bed. His hair was a mess and he probably looked like shit. He rubbed his puffy eyes with his fists and yawned loudly. What was Naruto doing right now? Probably sleeping peacefully.

He sighed in despair when he thought about Naruto’s warm body in his tiny bed. He would have loved being confident enough to knock on his door and ask him if he could stay the night. And if he had very much wanted to do it a few days ago, his courage had left him when the voice had reminded him he was undeserving of it. As he was pouring hot coffee in a mug, Sasuke contemplated his reflection in the window. He was paler than usual. 

He had no idea what to think of all of this. When he was spending time with Naruto, it felt like the dark passenger inside him was casted aside. At first, he had let him climb up his hole and order him around. But the more Naruto was breaking Sasuke’s boundaries, the less he was hearing it. On the contrary, when Naruto was leaving his side a little too long, the voice was wrecking his spirit harder and with more cruelty. 

Sasuke contemplated the dark liquid in his mug and the steam floating above. The coffee looked like it was boiling hot. “What if you poured it all over you?” The Uchiha swallowed and pressed his lips together. It wasn’t the first time the voice was telling him to commit self-harm. Letting Naruto physically abuse him had been the only way he had found self-harm acceptable, because it was bringing him closer to the shinobi. Today, it was happening again right when there was no one but him to generate pain. Naruto was away, so he had to do the job by himself. But he knew better now. He had realized this wasn’t the only option he had. 

“I don’t want to.” He said out loud.

“But you deserve it.”

“I’m lonely already. What else do you want?”

For the first time, he was talking back. And the voice seemed to like the challenge because a sinister laugh echoed in his brain and Sasuke tried to ignore the chills covering his half naked body. To prevent any incident, he poured his coffee in the sink and locked himself in the bathroom to take a shower, as if the voice couldn’t follow him everywhere. He let the burning hot water drown his tired face and tried to sort his thoughts out. Naruto was right: what did he want? To get rid of that voice and be loved? To listen to it and live a miserable life alone?

“Who cares what you want? You know what you deserve, Sasuke-kun.”

“Naruto cares.” He growled back.

“No, he doesn’t. He has friends, girlfriends, a future… he doesn’t need you.”

“HE NEEDS ME!” Sasuke screamed and punched the wall so hard that some of the tiles broke and fell in the tray. 

An evil chuckle resounded in his soul as Sasuke watched the crimson droplets fall at his feet and flow into the shower hole. He had wounded his hand pretty badly. Several cuts were slitting his skin on the knuckles and the back of his hand. The Uchiha rinsed it before getting out of the shower and wrapped his hand in a towel, wincing in pain. He had known worse, but the physical pain was now a reflection of his own mind. Still shocked by his loss of temper, he mechanically dressed and used what he had to treat the wounds. He couldn’t bother Sakura with it. He was too ashamed to share this with the kunoichi.

The voice had stopped, probably satisfied with how this short encounter had turned out. Sasuke sighed, still holding his hand. He was stronger than this. He could take back control if he really wanted it. But the dark passenger had groomed him so well that he was still doubting he really deserved to save himself. Years of trauma, abuse and loss were weighing heavy on the young sharingan bearer. Peace in the shinobi world had not changed that. Nobody ever cared about him. Nobody ever cared that he needed help. If they had, he wouldn’t have been so full of hate for all his life.

As he was looking for painkillers in his cupboards, a note flew from the window and landed on his kitchen table. The shinobi frowned and unfolded it. It was a mission order coming from the Hokage’s office. He was expected in thirty minutes by the entrance doors and would be told why once he’d get there. Forgetting everything that had happened before, Sasuke prepared his ninja attire. Kunai, shuriken, katana and parchments ready, he put on his green utility jacket and stepped outside. The sun was starting to point the tip of its nose and Sasuke promised himself to use that mission to clear his mind. There was nothing better than a fight to feel invigorated.

Soon, he could see the shape of the big green doors standing out in the pale blue sky. But as he stepped closer, he noticed who was waiting for him by the entrance desk. The orange tracksuit, the sunny blond hair, the loud laughter…

“Naruto.”

“Sasuke! I almost waited.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked dryly as the two shinobi guarding the gates watched them, appalled.

“I’m your teammate for the mission, dumbass! Happy to see me?”

Sasuke squinted his eyes. What kind of mission required to send the two most powerful shinobi in the entire world? 

“What is the order?” He asked, not convinced.

“I’ll tell you all about it on the road. Come on!”

“Kakashi told you?” Sasuke insisted, still suspicious.

“Of course! What? You think he doesn’t trust me?”

Sasuke didn’t have time to answer, Naruto was already walking away and waving the guards goodbye. He had no other choice but to follow him. As usual, Naruto was whistling on the road, unbothered by the bad vibes coming from Sasuke. The Uchiha watched him cheerfully leaping as he followed the trail only he knew about. After an hour of following him, gods knew where, Sasuke lost his patience and grumbled behind him.

But the Uzumaki didn’t seem disturbed at all, used to his companion’s moods. Sasuke almost felt like he was on the road with Juugo. But he had not kissed and fucked Juugo. Naruto was acting like they were just friends. When did he come back? Why didn’t he tell him? Why was Sasuke feeling so bitter about it?

“Are you going to tell me what is going on?” He finally said, unable to take one more second of uncertainty.

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean 'maybe'? Naruto! And why aren’t you wearing your ninja outfit?” 

Naruto chuckled and walked backwards, his arms crossed behind his head with a big smile on his face. What was he hiding? Fastening the pace to grab him by his collar, Sasuke watched the blond starting to run away, his arms sent behind him to go faster. Was he challenging him? His mouth curling up, Sasuke followed him as he disappeared between the trees, jumping up on the branches and down on the rocks.

Sasuke felt like a wild horse set free for the first time in years. His legs were running on their own, moving so fast he was almost flying. Without his mighty eyes, his surroundings would be completely blurry. He noticed Naruto was taking him seriously when he lit himself on fire. Sasuke was tracking the foxy ears down, amused by the way they moved on top of Naruto’s head. 

The chase lasted but they weren’t even trying to see who was the fastest anymore. The shinobi were just running into the woods, enjoying the wind through their hair and how much they had missed being so free. Only skilled warriors could understand what it felt like to find someone matching your abilities. As they reached the top of a hill, they looked at each other while slowing down the race and agreed to jump on the next nearer glade.

As Naruto was rolling on the ground, Sasuke gracefully landed on his feet and tread across the field of wildflowers to reach Naruto. The blond was lying on the grass, smiling while stretching his limbs and wiping the sweat off of his forehead. The Uchiha watched him for a moment, tenderized by the expression of pure happiness blooming on his friend’s face. But soon, he reminded him why they were here.

“Naruto. Tell me all about the mission.” 

“Oh, you’re so serious, Sasuke-kun.”

“Kun?”

“You don’t like it? Maybe you prefer Sasuke-chan? »

“I’m older than you!” He shouted. “And you’ve never… anyway.” He stopped as he felt the heat pooling in his cheeks. “What’s the mission?”

“Promise me you won’t get mad first.”

He frowned but didn’t promise anything. How could he? Naruto could be sneaky sometimes.

“Promise me!” The blond insisted with his child voice.

“Okay! I promise!”

“With the pinky!” Naruto smiled while reaching out with his arm so Sasuke could hook his pinky finger.

Sasuke looked furiously at the shinobi still laying in the grass. He couldn’t be mad at him right now. Not with a butterfly flapping its wings right above his pretty head. Not with the way he was squinting his beautiful blue eyes to avoid the sunlight. Defeated but softly grinning, Sasuke kneeled and wrapped his pinky around Naruto’s.

“Perfect.” Naruto declared as he sat crossed-legged. “So… what is going on is that... we don’t really have a mission here.”

“What?” He gasped.

“I asked Kakashi-sensei to send you a fake mission order.”

“W-Why?”

“Because if I asked you on a date you would have said no.”

His eyes balling in surprise, Sasuke let his jaw fall open and his shoulders sag, dumbfounded. Naruto had not talked to him for a week and now he was taking him out on a date?

“I don’t… I haven’t heard from you these days. Why would you-”

“I haven’t heard from you either.” The blond smiled. “But that’s alright. I got you.”

Naruto chuckled and stood proudly before going back on the road. Sasuke watched him walking away and his stomach twitched. What was the soft sensation pooling inside him? And why was he smiling like an idiot?

“Come on, Sasuke! We’re going to be late!”

The sun was high in the sky now and Sasuke’s gaze followed Naruto as he waved at him. Catching up with him, he felt oddly lighter with every step bringing them closer to the place where Naruto was leading them. The blond next to him had started to whistle, matching the birds’ chirping. He wondered what was going on inside that pretty blond head. How did Naruto manage to always look cheerful even with everything that had happened to him and the pressure he’d face in the future as a Hokage? Lost in his wonderings, Sasuke had not noticed that his hand had been brushing against Naruto’s for a while now. And the blond couldn’t help but take it and look at his bandage.

“How did you hurt yourself?”

“Huh? Oh…” Sasuke took his hand back and kept it against his chest, in protection. “With a glass, nothing bad.”

“Mh… Would you tell me if something was wrong?”

“Probably… not.”

After a couple of seconds of silence, they both started to laugh. There was nothing they could hide from one another. Their flaws were part of them, even if at this point, Sasuke wondered if Naruto had any. 

“Where are you taking me, Naruto?”

“It’s a surprise.” He answered with a mischief look on his face as he shared his chakra to heal his friend.

Sasuke’s heart tightened in his chest when he felt the warmth entering his body and his hand now rendered painless. As he took off the messy bandage around his palm, the Uchiha asked himself what he did to deserve such sweetness. Naruto went on his way as if nothing had happened. 

All around them, the forest was getting less and less dense. They were probably approaching a city. And he was right. From where they stood, Sasuke could see roofs, smokes and flags. This was the village of Akagahara, not really far from where they had passed their chunnin exams. The city seemed busy and noisy and Sasuke had no idea why they would come here in the first place… even less for a date. But he tried not to think too much about the idea that Naruto had taken him out… for real. 

“Why are we here?”

“You’re always so impatient Sasuke-kun!”

Before he could retort - he wasn’t sure about the 'kun' thing yet - Naruto took his wrist and they dived deeper in the small town. Naruto knew exactly where he was going and the Uchiha suspected he had been here several times. Was he… recycling his dates with him? Feeling the turmoil of jealousy taking possession of him again, Sasuke clenched his jaw. Naruto was still dragging him around, his blond hair shining under the sun. He was turning from time to time to smile at him, looking very proud of his plan. But the more they were progressing, the more Sasuke’s displeased mood growled inside him.

When the Uzumaki finally stopped, they had reached the other edge of the town and were standing in front of a funfair entrance. The merchants had installed marquees and tents, stalls of foods and games. It was a carnival of colors, laughter and Sasuke could feel his salivary glands activating when the sweet aroma of food reached his nostrils. But he wasn’t having the crumbs of Naruto’s one-night stands. The bright smile of his friend transformed in a panicked wince:

“What’s wrong?? You don’t… like it?”

“No.”

“W… but… they have a hook-a-duck stall!”

Sasuke side-eyed the blond who looked completely devastated. The brunette tried to ignore the pained expression on Naruto’s face and turned around to look somewhere else. But soon, he felt a warm hand wrapping around his forearm to make him spin and Naruto got so close to him he could feel his breath on his lips. Blushing and stepping back, Sasuke pressed his lips together. They were in a public place, for god's sake!

“Why won’t you give it a try? We’ve walked so far.”

“Why don’t you go with your girlfriends?”

The blond frowned and looked disconcerted. He had that empty look in his eyes, the one he always got when things were getting a little too complicated. Naruto tilted his head with a pout and Sasuke used every drop of will power he had to not show him he was falling for his stupid face.

“I don’t get it, Sasuke. Why are you saying that as if I did something wrong?”

“Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Do something wrong, usuratonkachi!”

Naruto’s mouth balled in perplexity and he shook his head with a frustrated scream. Sasuke watched him, still impassible. The blond pointed a finger on his chest and shouted:

“Tell me what’s wrong, baka!”

“You came here with your previous girlfriends, so I don’t want it.”

“What? How would you know?” Naruto was getting even more confused.

“Because you knew your way around.” Sasuke sulked, arms still crossed on his chest.

“That’s it? Just because I knew the way?”

Silence ensued and Sasuke bit his tongue, thinking how childish it sounded out loud. But Naruto had not denied it after all. As he was looking at the fair entrance with envy, Sasuke felt Naruto softly untying his arms and the shadow of his face coming closer to drop off a light peck on his lips. The Uchiha looked at him, a bit shocked he would do that in public but nobody was paying attention to them. 

“I asked Shikamaru for a good date idea.” He whispered against his lips. “He brought his girlfriend here once and gave me the details. That’s it…”

“So… You never came here with anybody else?” He slightly danced on his feet, feeling relieved and slightly ashamed.

“You’re important to me, Sasuke. I’m doing things right. If you're scared, just tell me. Don't find excuses.”

Naruto smiled again and this time, he took his hand and tangled their fingers together as they walked into the funfair. Pride bloomed inside the Uchiha as he realized that he was standing next to the most extraordinary man in the world. And this man cared about him in a way he had never thought would be possible. He looked at their palms against one another, their long fingers webbing on the back on their hands. His were pale, standing out on Naruto’s golden skin and vice-versa. The future Hokage was walking with dignity next to him, smiling to everyone recognizing his blond hair and big blue eyes. Sasuke felt his heart pound louder in his chest and his hand sweat a little. Maybe it was still too soon to be so close? With tact, Naruto slowly let go of him and looked at his friend, his lips curled up in a knowing grin.

After a quick tour of the fair, they decided to try some games. Of course, they refused most of the rewards after playing archery and kunai throwing. It would not have been fair to the merchants, but at least, they were having fun. The friendliest competition settled between them and Sasuke suspected Naruto was missing some targets on purpose.

“What can I say, Sasuke? I don’t have your eyes!” He laughed and walked to the hook-a-duck stall with excitement.

“Don’t tell me you really want to do this.”

“They give away frog wallets! Mine is so old the coins are falling in my pockets!”

With his long legs trapped under the tiny chair, Naruto sat with the other kids and started to catch as many wooden ducks as he could, his smile widening at every win. Behind him, Sasuke couldn’t help but chuckle and bit his cheeks. He envied Naruto for the kid still living inside him. With a last shout of victory, Naruto jumped all around the basin and handed his basket of ducks to the merchant who happily offered him a choice of the biggest stuffed animals he had. But true to himself, Naruto pointed at the green wallet in the back and gave one of the plush to a little girl who had not successfully grabbed enough ducks to win. 

“I am kind of hungry now.” He said, as he admired his new frog pouch. “What do you want to eat?”

“There’s a curry place we passed earlier.”

“Fine, but tonight, we’ll eat ramen.”

“Tonight?”

“Oh, I haven’t told you yet, it’s a two-days date!”

Sasuke stopped walking, dumbstruck, and watched Naruto walking to the tiny stall serving curry. Two days… It meant they were sleeping in the same room tonight. Sasuke swallowed heavily and wondered if it was a really good idea. On the contrary, Naruto didn’t seem worried. Sasuke joined him as he was ordering for the both of them before sitting at a table under a tree. The brunette took off his military jacket and watched Naruto as he stretched his limbs with a look of content.

The lady brought them two hot plates and Sasuke smiled while his friend was adorably blowing on the fuming brown stew. The young shinobi feared for a second this would transform in an awkward moment where none of them would know what to talk about. But Naruto was already telling him about stuff happening in Konoha. The Uchiha listened while eating, just glad to hear his voice. He felt lucky beyond measures.

“Ne, Sasuke?”

“Mh?”

“I was wondering if… you’d want to travel with me a little.”

His spoon of rice half way into his mouth, the Uchiha’s eyes balled in surprise. 

“Travel where? Are you leaving the village?”

“No, I just want… I want to know my ancestors better.”

Sasuke sat back, not prepared to have this conversation with his friend at that moment. But as confused as he was, a little flame lit in his spirit and he knew Naruto had not talked about it to anybody but him.

“What do you have in mind?” He asked, his attention now completely focused on Naruto’s body language.

“I want to go to the Land of Whirlpools. There used to be a village named Uzushiogakure. My mother comes from there.”

“Used to?”

“Yes, the village has been destroyed a long time ago during the war and the villagers fled. But maybe I can find something in the ruins, know their past better… find somebody from there… Learn about the seals. You know they were famous for it, the Uzumakis.”

Sasuke nodded and resumed eating his curry. Thoughts were bouncing in his head. Leaving Konoha again: what a tempting idea. And with Naruto, it would surpass everything he could dream for. He wasn’t sure they were ready for something like that… or rather: was _he_ was ready for that? But Naruto seemed to be so demanding for Sasuke’s approval that he couldn’t help but think about what it would be like. Just the two of them, on the road.

“I just want to know my mom better, you know.” Naruto added, playing with his food, his eyes turning glassy.

“I understand.”

“I knew you would… And I want you to know that I’m not forcing you. It’s just that, there’s no one else I want with me for this.”

They were staring at each other as the world was vanishing around them. Sasuke couldn’t hear the music, the laughter and the children calling their parents. It was just him and Naruto. The rest didn’t matter. He didn’t have to think about it for one second.

“I’ll come with you.”

Relieved, the blond smiled, wiped the beads of tears that had started forming on the corner of his eyes and finished his plate. The Jinchuuriki looked relieved, as if he had been preparing this request for weeks before being able to voice it. Sasuke chewed his cheeks, aware that he had let Naruto down as a friend. The Uchiha wasn’t the only one suffering from loneliness. He promised himself he would do better. He would be there for him.

Sasuke didn’t know a single thing about Uzumaki Kushina. But to birth someone like Naruto, the woman might be extraordinary. He found himself being very eager to know more about the kunoichi who had been Kurama’s receptacle before her son. He kind of knew Namikaze Minato from the war, but he had never been interested in Naruto’s mother. It wasn’t like him to want to know things about other people’s families, especially if he didn’t have anything to gain from it. But it was Naruto, he needed him and the Uchiha could see his friend was vulnerable.

“We’ll go as soon as we can.” Sasuke said, to prove to Naruto he was serious about this.

“Are you sure? Maybe you’re not interested and-”

“I said I’ll go. With you. I want to be here.” He blushed and looked at his spoon of rice. “I want to be there for you.”

Under the table, Naruto had started to rub his ankle against Sasuke’s. They were both eating their meal, smiling and blushing like teenagers. It felt good and organic. As if the pieces were finally assembling in the right order, all because Sasuke had finally let his guard down.

The day kept getting better and Sasuke had forgotten everything dark in his existence. All that mattered was that Naruto was happy. After their lunch, he had let the blond drag him all around the fair and play all sorts of games. The Uchiha was never tired of seeing his friend smile and cheer like a kid. He thought about all those days he had missed the chance to be close to him and now, he wished nothing could tear them apart. Not even his troubled mind.

Tears of joy sparkling on the corner of their eyes as they were exiting the glass labyrinth, Sasuke didn’t let go of Naruto’s hand he had taken while they were trying to get out. His skilled eyes had come in handy to detect the glass panels. After the blond had bumped three times into them, the Uchiha had grabbed him to guide him through the maze. Now, he couldn’t give the hand back. It was too warm, too good to touch him at any time. Naruto wasn’t complaining. On the contrary, his body was leaning on his friend more and more with every passing second. The Uchiha wanted to show him he didn’t mind the touch so he tenderly rubbed the pulp of his thumb inside Naruto’s palm. 

The blond stared at him, cheeks adorably reddened. As he was leaning a little closer, his nose already grazing against Sasuke’s cheek, something caught his attention and his eyes balled in surprise.

“Oh! Look! Sasuke, that’s you!” He shouted while running toward a claw machine behind Sasuke. 

Sasuke watched the Uzumaki as he stuck his face and hands to the glass with eyes big like a toddler in front of a piece of cake. 

“I want this one!” He said, excited and pointing at a stuffed animal in the shape of a fluffy hamster with dark grey fur. 

“The rat?” He asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Kinda looks like you.”

Before Sasuke could Amaterasu the shit out of him, Naruto bursted into laughter and wrapped his arm around his waist. His head now leaning on his shoulder in sign of peace, he lowered his voice.

“He just looks grumpy but very soft. Like you.”

Sasuke growled but a sense of pride spread through his body and mind and he knew he had one thing to do: give Naruto that stupid rat that reminded him of him. He put a coin in the machine and started the game. The claw dropped, caught the plush and slowly pulled it up. Naruto’s eyes were widening at the sight of the chubby rodent coming closer to him. But as Sasuke was about to make it fall into the box, the toy fell on the pile. Next to him, he felt his friend’s mood lower to -50 in a couple of nanoseconds. As Naruto pouted in disappointment, Sasuke sensed his pride growl louder in his chest and he put another coin in the machine. There was no way that rat wouldn’t go into Naruto’s arms.

Another try, another fail. And Sasuke couldn’t believe a freaking machine was resisting his powerful ninja skills. He was precise, good in physics, he could even see the future but somehow, it wasn’t enough to trick the engine. Next to him, Naruto was cheering him on and Sasuke rolled his sleeves. He wouldn’t lose. He wouldn’t disappoint his boyfriend. Sasuke smiled when he realized he called him _that_ without even thinking about it. His heart beating fast in his chest, he began another game. A fourth, a fifth, a sixth… still no stuffed animals in the box. Next to him, Naruto was leaning on the glass with an understanding smile.

“It’s okay, Sasuke. It’s not that cute anyway. You’re cuter.”

“ _YOU_ ARE TELLING ME TO GIVE UP?” He spat out, his finger pressed on Naruto’s chest and the blond bursted into laughter.

“Alright, I’m gonna buy a snack and when I’ll return, I want my hamster.”

Sasuke watched Naruto walk away and he clenched his jaw, fuming. Taking all his coins out of his pouch, Sasuke even grabbed his shinobi headband out of his pocket and wrapped it around his forehead. This way, his locks of dark hair wouldn’t fall on his eyes. And if he was entirely honest with himself, it was giving him some sort of courage. 

One game, another, then ten others. Sasuke was playing fast and using his sharingan to navigate the claw. He looked over his shoulder and noticed that Naruto was paying for two ice cream cones. How lame would it be if he came back and Sasuke had still not won the gift and was out of cash? 

The brunette looked at the machine, defying the claw with his dark and purple eyes. He could feel chakra flowing through his meridian system. Sasuke cracked his knuckles and grabbed the handle after inserting his last coin in the slit. The shinobi took a deep breath as the claw started moving. With extreme precision, he sent a tiny, yet life changing, electric shock through the wires. With his Sharingan, he watched the raiton running through the machine until it reached the claw. Charged with power, the metallic hand grabbed the toy with more strength. 

A drop of sweat glided down Sasuke’s temple as he started moving the handle cautiously. He was still sending a thin thread of chakra through the wires to feed the claw with enough power to make the grip last longer. The Uchiha stopped breathing as the metallic hand travelled from the center of the pile to stop where he wanted it. Air locked in his lungs, Sasuke pushed the button and watched the toy drop right in the winning box. His skilled eyes followed it as it fell in slow motion and when it finally hit the bottom, Sasuke jumped and shouted in victory. All heads turned to look at this grown man scream like he had never screamed before. But he couldn’t care less. Because when he turned around, Naruto was standing right there, looking cute with his ice cream cones in his hands and the biggest smile on his face. 

“I got it!” He said, not able to hide his joy anymore.

“I see that! He’s even cuter in my hands!” Naruto exulted as he hugged the rat tighter against him, not minding the strawberry ice cream melting in his fingers.

Sasuke licked his own snack with the feeling he had accomplished something very important. Seated on a bench next to him, Naruto was petting his new toy like a kid. Obsessed with his acquisition, he had forgotten about the cone in his hand. Sasuke watched him, amused, and pulled his hand closer so he could lick the melting ice on his wrist and the back of his fingers. It was an odd thing for him to do, but it had just felt natural. Brought back on Earth, Naruto watched him clean his skin and blushed a little. 

“Sorry.” Sasuke said, embarrassed by his lack of etiquette.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Naruto answered while wiping the pink cream on the corner of Sasuke’s lips.

“Better not do that in public…” He smiled shyly.

“Are you okay sleeping with me tonight?” Naruto asked while finally tasting his ice cream.

“About that… I haven’t been sleeping very well lately.”

Naruto took a deep breath and pressed his lips together. “It’s like he knows.” Sasuke thought. What did he know? Was Sasuke so obvious about everything? The brunette stared at his friend who looked concerned but didn’t say a word. They finished their snack in silence, enjoying each other’s presence and the nice evening atmosphere falling on the funfair. The sky was slowly turning orange and Sasuke was thankful for this day out of reality.

It seemed like Naruto had planned everything perfectly. He led them to a hotel by the forest. The place was simple, quiet and big enough so they could have their own private space away from the other guests. They shared a meal in the hotel’s restaurant, chatting joyfully like two regular young men flirting. Sasuke was putting the moment of sleep back. But he knew that at some point, they would both head to the bedroom. 

When that moment arrived, they walked in silence in the hallway leading to their room. Naruto opened the door and invited him in. At first, they pretended that everything was fine. Taking off their jackets and shoes, opening their bags to take their night clothes… Sasuke was feeling anxious but he had no idea why Naruto would be too. He looked at him discreetly as the shinobi was taking off his clothes. Feeling like he was violating his privacy, Sasuke blinked and minded his own business again. 

When he came back from the restroom, face cleaned and ready to sleep, he noticed that Naruto had moved the futons so they could lie next to each other. The blond was crossed-legged on one of them, wearing nothing but his green underpants. He lifted his head and smiled at Sasuke’s neat night t-shirt and pants. But instead of mocking him, he quickly hit him in the calves with his ankle, making the Uchiha fall forward. Sasuke landed - not so gracefully - next to Naruto and growled in disapprobation. 

“Is this how you thank me for your stupid rat?”

“It’s a hamster. Look how happy he is!” He said while pointing at the plush seated in front of their beds.

Sasuke winced with the odd impression that the rodent was actually staring at them. The Uchiha grabbed his shoe and aimed at the toy which fell on the floor as Naruto was screaming in horror.

“What did you do to Sasuke?!”

“Don’t call him that!”

Naruto laughed again and rested his head on the pillow. He looked tired, but so did Sasuke. His last nights had been long battles against himself. The lack of sleep started to weigh on his mood and on his abilities. He was used to not sleep often, but those white nights were filled with dark thoughts. It wasn’t just that he was sleep deprived. He also spent hours trying to switch off the evil whispers in his brain. He lied down too and sighed, hoping he would stay calm tonight. The last thing he wanted was to worry Naruto and prove to him he was just as tortured as he had always been.

“Ne, Sasuke.”

Sasuke bit his lip. He knew that tone. Naruto was going to ask him something personal and the Uchiha wasn’t sure he was ready for it.

“I… I came this week. To see you.”

“When?” Sasuke said precipitally, feeling like Naruto knew something he shouldn’t have.

“You were asleep… kinda.” He started. “I wanted to surprise you so I came in the night by the window when I finished my mission. You were already in bed but… it didn’t look like you were having a good time.”

“What do you mean?” He feared the answer.

“I don’t know. All I know is that you were stiff and sweaty. I tried to wake you up because I thought you had a fever or something. But your body was cold. And you started saying gibberish shits with a voice I had never heard before. It kind of freaked me out.”

The Uchiha swallowed, unable to explain anything. He wasn’t even aware he was talking in his sleep.

“And then, you opened your eyes and I thought you were awake because your Sharingan was glowing. And you kept talking about… being undeserving, about your brother, about me…”

“Naruto…”

“I feel like I’m repeating myself but there is no way in the world I’m leaving you like that.”

Naruto was now holding himself on his elbow, leaning over Sasuke, with a serious look on his face. He wasn’t playing games anymore. This was as thoughtful as it could be. Between them, there was no secret. Even when he had tried to keep the truth hidden, Naruto had discovered everything once more. Without thinking too much about it, his hand flew to Naruto’s cheek, cupping his jaw and inviting him closer to meet his lips. They kissed slowly, tenderly and Naruto let his entire body cover Sasuke’s. It felt good, reassuring and Sasuke closed his eyes with content. He realized how much he needed this. Was he selfish for wanting Naruto to be his security blanket forever?

Naruto’s weight buried him safely in the mattress and he deeply breathed his smell in. Everything about the blond was enticing and reassuring. Sasuke didn’t have enough of him. But that night, he just wanted to cuddle.

“I won’t… I can’t… Tonight-”

“I know.” Naruto interrupted him. “I don’t want to either.”

“Are you still disgusted by me?”

“I never was! Stop with this!” He said, offended. “I said that I didn’t want to do it like animals anymore. I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve better than this.”

Sasuke stayed silent. He had a pretty clear idea of what he deserved. And it wasn’t a day like this, a boyfriend like this or even being cuddled and kissed like this. Though, he couldn’t stop his hands from travelling on Naruto’s back, explore him, get a little bit of his warmth.

“Mh… It’s good, what you’re doing.” Naruto purred.

“I’m not doing anything.” The Uchiha whispered.

“You’re being soft. I love it.”

He smiled as Naruto laid his head in the crook of his neck. He finally felt like he was doing something right for his friend. The Uzumaki was rubbing his thumb on his collarbone and breathing slowly against his ear. Time had stopped and it was better like that. Sasuke closed his eyes for a second and tried to reach deep inside him. The rattle was here, subtle but present. A shiver shocked his spine and he realized he was doomed if he didn’t find a way to get rid of it, permanently. He wasn’t able to control it and one day, it would hurt Naruto. 

“I… I hear a voice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel the angst crawling back? 🤫
> 
> Thank you again for your support! I can't wait to know what you guys think about their story and the way it's evolving!
> 
> xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve (for those who celebrate, of course)! 🎄
> 
> As a gift to you, here's another chapter. There's fluff, angst and smut, all in the same one, so I hope you'll enjoy it!!!
> 
> xx

Sasuke felt Naruto’s eyelashes move against his skin as his own spirit was slowly waking up from the late night torpor. The blond resumed his thumb rubbing, encouraging Sasuke to go on. Silence had fallen around them and he was getting nervous. But he also felt ready to talk about it. Naruto’s presence was soothing the shinobi, as always. If he didn’t talk now, he would never be able to do it later.

“That’s why I came back to Konoha.” He said after swallowing his shyness. “It started a year after I was released from prison.”

Sasuke was talking slow and low. He had no idea how to begin and what to say. All he knew was that he didn’t want to cry in front of Naruto. He knew this was a stupid thought, childish even. But he was still himself, proud and confident… at least, that was the facade behind which he was hiding. 

“I’m listening…” Naruto said softly a minute after Sasuke had stopped talking.

Slowly, Sasuke wrapped his arms tighter around Naruto, holding him like a security blanket. The blond buried his nose in the hair at the base of his nape and his hand landed on his cheek. They were locked against each other, sharing their warmth and their heart beat in unison. Sasuke felt great, comforted, not alone anymore. He took a deep breath and resumed his story.

**

The first time the voice had echoed in his head, Sasuke had been terrified. It had been dreadful and frightening to feel like somebody else was inhabiting your brain. The first days had been exhausting. Sasuke had stayed in bed in a small hotel on the road, hoping he was hallucinating from a fever. But it didn’t go away. Every time he was awake, the voice was coming back, whispering nonsense into his ears. He couldn’t ignore it because it was inside him, vibrating in every part of his being. It was like the thoughts of thousands of souls were following him everywhere.

Sometimes, among the gibberish, he could hear a word that caught his attention. “Itachi, mother, Konoha, clan…” Those were the triggers he was waiting for day and night. As if he knew he couldn’t escape them. The anticipation was even worse than actually hearing those words. As painful as it was to be haunted by them, Sasuke wanted to know why they kept coming back into his head.

Now that it was clear that the voice wouldn’t go anywhere, Sasuke had gotten used to it, almost like it was keeping him company when he was alone on the road. The shinobi had spent the whole winter with this weird buzzing in his brain. Weeks passed until the voice started forming sentences. It reminded him every second that Itachi had died because of him. That his mom and dad had paid the price for his life. That guttural and sinister sound was keeping him awake for hours, days, haunting every step he made. 

One sleepless night, Sasuke walked to the river nearby to wash his face, hoping he could clear his mind. The voice started talking to make him understand it wouldn’t go away, not tonight.

“What do you want?” He thought, tears of weariness starting to form in his empty eyes. 

But the voice laughed. It was mocking him. And Sasuke had a hard time handling something he couldn’t control being right inside him. The voice resumed his speech about his brother and his family. Sasuke closed his eyes and listened to what it had to say. It wasn’t like he could ignore it. Every word was poisoning his veins and filling the emptiness of his soul with a new kind of darkness. Sasuke had no purpose anymore. He was alone and the voice was his only companion. 

“Companion.” The young man said out loud with a sad smile. He had no companion left but a sad presence reminding him of what he had lost. 

The shinobi plunged his feet in the dark and cold river and let the frostbite anesthetize his skin, hoping it would go up to his brain and make everything quiet again. He just wanted one night of silence. The pain made it go away a little. His body was too preoccupied in fighting the cold than hearing the nonsense inside his head. But as soon as he went back to his camp and lied by the fire, the clatter resumed.

With each passing day, the voice was re-opening another wound Sasuke was struggling to keep closed. Soon, the young man became obsessed with his mistakes from the past. There was nothing he could do now that would make his atonement enough. He had tried helping others, healing wounds, giving hands… everything. But nothing seemed enough to please the dark passenger inside him. The more confused and sad Sasuke grew, the louder the voice resonated.

As his willpower was slowly fading, the voice took the opportunity to poison his soul even deeper. Somehow, it found the strength to convince Sasuke his presence on Earth was a waste of space. The Uchiha now only existed through the prism of others. He had to do good things, not in order to make amends, but to serve others. He would never be happy, that wasn’t what he deserved. Instead, he was following the will of the voice inside him. He ate when the voice allowed him to and slept when the voice was finally asleep.

Was it how he had pictured his journey to redemption? Certainly not, but if that was what he had to do to earn his place back, he would endure it. His brother had suffered from much more torment, he wasn’t allowed to complain or give up. Even if he was losing his humanity day after day. 

One morning, as he was walking through the frozen forest in the Land of Frost, Sasuke heard the voice, clearer than ever. 

“What are you doing, Sasuke-kun?”

He didn’t answer, not out loud, not even in his mind. He was cold, tired and alone. There was nothing he could have said to make it go away, anyway.

“Don’t you get it? There is nothing you can do now that would fix your mistakes.”

Sasuke tried to ignore that umpteenth attempt to bring him down. The voice was always playing with him. One day it was giving him hope, the next it was telling him he’d be better drowned in the Naka river, just like Uchiha Shisui. 

“It would help Konoha to find his peace again. Nobody would be afraid of the last Uchiha anymore. Everybody knows you vermins can’t be trusted. You would end the circle of hate forever.” 

That time, it had made Sasuke so furious he had broken his knuckles punching into a tree, making birds fly away as he cursed at the wind. The voice had laughed and left him all alone as he was trying to stop the bleeding, blinded by his tears.

Now following the path into the windy mountains, Sasuke’s strengths were slowly leaving him as the voice hit another of his weaknesses.

“Nothing you’ll do will fix what you did to your only friend.”

Cold sweat started to run down his spine as he was struggling to walk in the snow. The wind was whistling into his sensitive ears but it wasn’t enough to cover the sound of the voice.

“What a pathetic attempt to amend for what you did to him. He has forgotten about you. You’re not a threat anymore, That was his only concern. He has moved on now. He doesn’t care about you.”

Sasuke stopped in the middle of the snowy road and looked at the sky. It was so white it almost blinded the shinobi. Snowflakes were slowly dancing above his head and landing on his pale face. He blew and watched the steam escape his lips before closing his eyes.

“I know what I did to Naruto.” He answered. “He forgave me.”

“No matter what he said. Things will never be the same. You’re alone. You will be. You succeeded, Sasuke-kun. You cut your bonds with him.”

Sasuke watched the road ahead and swallowed painfully. His throat was sore from the cold, he couldn’t feel his feet anymore. The white path between the mountains looked endless. He shut his lids for a moment and when he reopened them, he knew what he had to do. Sasuke turned back without another thought. He needed to go back to Konoha. He needed to see if Naruto had forgotten about him. Inside his body, a small flame lit and another hint of hope bloomed. The voice had been telling him things he knew and couldn’t change. But now, it was talking about someone alive, someone he could still make happy. He wouldn’t let that chance go away.

  
**

Sasuke closed his eyes and swallowed his saliva. Naruto’s breath was still steady and rocking him. When he understood the Uchiha had finished talking, the blond rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling, silent for a moment. It was a strange feeling to know Naruto was aware of everything. He closed his eyes and let a single tear glide down his temple. Sasuke felt the mattress sag as Naruto was moving and he knew the blond was watching him cry. So he kept his eyes closed to not face the look of his friend and covered his face with his hands. 

Several minutes passed and Naruto had still not said a word. Sasuke felt his heart pounding in his chest. The Uzumaki was always so talkative, his silence was frightening. Was he giving up on him? Thinking he was mad or not worth saving anymore? But as nausea was starting to tear his guts, the warm palm of the shinobi wrapped around his hand and made him open his eyes.

Above him, Naruto was smiling. Seated crossed-leg, he was patiently waiting for Sasuke to stop crying. The Uchiha sit too to face the Jinchuuriki. Naruto didn’t look alarmed or concerned anymore. He was just here, enjoying Sasuke’s presence and the fact that he had confessed to him. After a long and quiet stare, the blond leaned a little to drop a thoughtful peck on Sasuke’s lips.

“Does it feel good to share?” He asked, trying to read into Sasuke’s mind.

“I feel… empty.”

“Good empty or bad empty?”

“I don’t know. I still can’t make the difference.”

Naruto nodded and took a deep breath.

“Are you still hearing the voice?”

“Yes.”

“When? Are you hearing it now?”

“No it’s just… I know it’s waiting, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike again.”

Naruto frowned and looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to solve the equation in his head. Sasuke observed him and he realized how much he was in love with him when the simple sight of his little puckered nose made his heart melt in his chest.

“So, it feeds from your sadness?”

“Yes… but also when I’m happy. It likes to remind me that I don’t deserve it.”

“Do you really believe what it is saying? That you don’t deserve it?”

Sasuke stayed speechless and Naruto looked upset. He jumped on Sasuke at once, choking him with his weight and the brunette shouted in surprise. But Naruto was heavy and he pinned him on the mattress with the strength of his arms, his thighs caging his hips.

“Baka! Of course you deserve happiness! Imma hit you again if you say otherwise!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I know what kind of answers hide behind your silences, Sasuke.”

The Uchiha bit his cheek and admitted his defeat with a nod. But Naruto didn’t let go of him.

“All of this seems very suspect to me. You always were a crazy motherfucker.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t be offended, that’s true.” He sat back, scratching the back of his head, racking his brain to find the key to the mystery. “But you’ve always been yourself. Nobody was telling you how to act and what to think. Why… after everything you’ve been through this voice would appear?”

“Because it’s right, Naruto. I got away too easily with everything that I did.”

Sasuke rolled on his stomach and buried his face in the pillow. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. On the verge of crying, the Uchiha was struggling to keep his shit together. For a minute, it felt even worse that Naruto was aware of things he had tried so hard to keep secret. He couldn’t hide any longer and his friend would be always watching him. Sasuke had no respite.

“Hey…” Naruto said, his hand now resting on Sasuke’s back. “Don’t say that… I know what you’ve been through more than anyone. I know what you deserve and that’s not living miserable for the rest of your life. You’ve taken the decision to atone by yourself. It showed the greatness of your spirit. I know who you are Sasuke, and you’re not a bad person.”

“But what I did-”

“I don’t care. I don’t care what you did. Nobody cares anymore. I don’t say it’s not bad. I don’t say that you shouldn’t live as if you haven’t done anything wrong in your life. I say that I forgave you, and you should too. You never wanted to hurt anyone just for the sake of it. You were angry at the world for what the word did to you.”

Sasuke had not a single protest to voice but somehow, his brain wouldn’t accept the facts Naruto was stating. He was unable to see beyond his foggy spirit. His friend’s hand was still rubbing his back and he felt ashamed to be so weak around someone so strong.

At once, the raven-haired boy got up and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He needed a minute to clear his head. Everything he was believing in had been wrong, once again. The voice had such a strong hold on him, it had convinced the Uchiha that nobody cared what could happen to him. He had accepted a miserable and lonely life for himself, if that meant Naruto could be happy. But now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Sasuke didn’t have the strength to live alone when Naruto was being so nurturing and understanding.

The Uzumaki softly knocked on the bathroom door and rested his forehead against the wooden panel. Feeling frail, Sasuke leaned on the other side and slipped down to sit, holding his knees against his chest like a kid. He could hear Naruto doing the same and his head resting just behind him.

“Talk to me, Sasuke.”The blond finally said with a tired voice.

Sasuke was so afraid to say something hurtful, to bore Naruto… But the words came like a litany he absolutely needed to vomit.

“I’ve done horrible things.” He started, feeling safe in the darkness of the bathroom. “When I look back, I can’t even process the fact that  _ I _ did them.  _ Me _ . I became a monster.”

“You became what the village made you. Just like me. We just took different paths. We built a life with the tools we had.”

“But you did the right things, every damn time.”

He heard Naruto sigh and stay silent. The blond was starting to understand it was pointless to try to convince the Uchiha.

“I just… I know two years aren’t enough to make amends. I want to do more, be useful, prove that I changed and I can bring peace. I thought I could do it but every time I try there’s this… this dark passenger who reminds me it’s not enough. I got to do more, I got to be better. And it’s out of my reach! I’m not good like you are! And I have a hole in my chest I can’t fill unless you're here and you’re good to me and you take care of me!”

Sasuke was losing himself, thick and warm tears running down the valley of his face. The taste of salt on his lips had never been so intense. Naruto was still speechless and he missed him. He missed him so much it hurt and made everything ache and burn. But he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t going to ruin him because as soon as he would be alone again, the voice would come back and give him the treatment he deserved. His life was an endless circle of ups and downs, the downs being deeper and darker each time.

“I made all the bad choices, took all the wrong turns…” Sasuke resumed, sniffling and coughing between the tears. “I want to serve my sentence and be the man you really deserve, Naruto. You know I can’t be myself when I’m around you because I ruin everything. One look at the real me and you’ll run away. I’m so scared I’m going to hurt you again, use you to feel better about myself when I don’t deserve it!”

“Sasuke…” Naruto tried as he felt his friend in distress behind the door.

The litany of words was flooding out of him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Trembling and panting, Sasuke wasn’t able to control himself anymore. But he prayed that it was the way that could save him.

“I’m always wearing a mask so you can’t see that I’m ruined on the inside. I feel like nothing has changed, I’m the same monster and there is nothing you can do to drag me out of hell. I don’t deserve happiness or love and I want to be punished for what I did! I know how people like me should be treated. I don’t want you to love me, to have hopes for me. I don’t want to be the reason you’re sad. I want you to be happy and you can’t if I’m around. But I still want you. I can’t stop myself from wanting you, Naruto. And it makes me so… terrified.”

Silence ensued. Sasuke was short-breathed, chills covering his whole body and making his spine shake in distress. Sweat had coated his skin, making him hot and cold at the same time. He couldn’t move, talk or think anymore. The world was weighing heavily on his shoulders and he was afraid he had said too much. Maybe Naruto would be afraid of him and duck out. Maybe his confession proved how lunatic he was and the Uzumaki would finally give up on him. Was it for the best? At least, he could save himself.

Sasuke had no idea how long he stayed seated in the dark. Long enough to feel like his muscles were about to collapse. Unable to move, Sasuke was staring in the void, waiting for the voice to come back and devour the last bit of sanity he had left. But a ray of light caught his attention. He had not realized and he had no idea how, but Naruto had unlocked the door from the outside and was slowly pulling him out of the bathroom. Coiled in his arms, he felt the blond’s hand trying to untie his fingers locked around his knees. Now that his hand was loosening a little, he felt the deep cut his nails had dug in his palms. 

A weird tingling ran through his body as his muscles were gradually recovering from the tension. Holding him, Naruto was making sure he had not hurt himself by checking every inch of him, pulling his lids up to check in his orbits. Once he seemed satisfied, he started to caress Sasuke’s cheek with the back of his knuckles in an attempt to soothe him. And it worked. The Uchiha felt immediately sleepy and completely helpless. He closed his eyes and the world vanished instantly. 

When he opened his eyes again, the sun was already shining in their room. Sasuke’s senses woke up at once, with a strong urge to find Naruto and make sure he was alright. But he couldn’t get up because something heavy was paralyzing the top of his body. He analyzed the situation quickly and noticed that Naruto had wrapped his strong arm around his chest and he was lightly snoring in his ear. Relieved, Sasuke closed his eyes and sighed.

Naruto was here, safe and apparently not mad or scared of him. Snippets of what had happened the night before flashed in his mind and a chill uneased Sasuke. What had gone wrong inside his head? He should have never-

“Morning…” 

A sleepy voice rose in the room and Sasuke flicked his head to look at the blond mane next to him. All he could see was the whiskers on Naruto’s cheek and one blue pupil timidly peeking through his half-closed lid. 

“Good morning.” He answered, not really sure how this day would start.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I… guess. I didn’t dream. I just woke up from a coma.”

Naruto smiled lazily and rolled on his side to see him better. Sasuke turned too, eager to capture more of this delicious dawn sight. He had never noticed how cute Naruto looked with his tangled hair, puffy eyes and dry morning lips. His gaze travelled from his face to his masculine jaw, his thick neck until it met his shoulders. He looked even more broad when he was lying so close to Sasuke. When he couldn’t take it anymore, the Uchiha laid his hand on Naruto’s chest, covering his pectoral while he compared its wideness to the size of his pale hand.

The blond let him do it, curiously observing how the Uchiha was getting to know his body. Under his palm, he could feel the beating heart and the soft bud of flesh hardening with his touch. Sasuke wanted to lay naked against Naruto’s body, but he had no idea where their relationship stood right now. So he lifted his eyes to meet his friend’s and questioned him silently.

Naruto stayed silent too, as if he was trying to know if Sasuke was feeling alright. It was legit since he had almost collapsed the night before. But all the Uchiha needed right now was the insurance that Naruto loved him enough to support him through this trial. Fear crawling back, Sasuke retrieved his hand but was stopped by Naruto. His fingers grabbed his wrist and put his hand back on him with the softest and most desirable smile.

“I still want you too, you know?”

They stared at each other for a moment, not knowing who was supposed to move first. But Sasuke took the time to observe the dark blue crystals in Naruto’s azure eyes. His light shaded eyelashes were fluttering slowly as he was trying to understand Sasuke’s intentions. The Uchiha knew that after the night before, if he gave in, there would be no turning back. He was doomed to love Naruto, whatever happened next. And for the first time, it was a step he was ready to take.

His hand left his chest and slowly climbed his throat to anchor on his cheek. He observed Naruto’s full lips curved slightly on the corner as he was leaning a little. They both understood that this time, there was no violence or urgency. They needed to find each other in tenderness, even if Sasuke had no idea how. He stretched his neck a little to get closer to Naruto and meet his lips. But the Uzumaki kept a small distance between them, teasing the shinobi with his warm breath. Sasuke whined discreetly, drawing a smile on Naruto’s face.

“What do you want?” He gently asked, mirroring the time where Sasuke couldn’t handle his feelings.

“I want to kiss you.” The Uchiha answered, trying to ignore the shyness crawling back inside him.

“Why?” He teased again, his lips brushing dangerously on Sasuke’s.

The Uchiha took a deep breath and let his lover torture him in the most pleasurable way. His body slowly waking up, Sasuke caressed the blond’s nape and sent his fingers to get lost in the thick mane of sunny hair. The answer was right here, in Naruto’s eyes, on his lips, in the crook of his neck, under his palm and in the beating of his heart: he loved him. So much. With every particle of his body and soul. Tired of waiting for the permission, Sasuke stretched his neck more and caught the Uzumaki’s lips between his, eagerly sucking on the lower one. 

Naruto chuckled in the kiss and let him do whatever he wanted. With frantic but tender motions, Sasuke started to pull Naruto over him, his hands looking for every inch of skin he could touch. The kiss had transformed into a sensual embrace where limbs were slowly tangling together. As he was holding his lover very tightly, Sasuke was discovering what tenderness felt like. He could feel how hard they were, but sexual satisfaction was the last thing on his mind. All he wanted was to feel him against his skin.

He had not noticed, but Naruto had started to peel off his clothes. Now, his pants were down his ankles and his t-shirt slowly pulled up. With one hand, the shinobi got rid of it and directly dived down to kiss Sasuke’s chest. They were hot with the scent of the night and nothing was sexier than to feel their bodies waking up to all those sensations.

Redness covering his face, Sasuke realized that he had to be naked in front of Naruto... in broad daylight. They had seen each other already at the bath house, but this was different. He blushed even more at the thought that Naruto had seen his bare butt, had fucked him already. He knew him in ways Sasuke couldn’t control. 

Feeling the body of his partner tensing, Naruto stopped kissing his neck and looked at him:

“What’s wrong?”

“I… uh… nothing.” He hesitated.

“Tell me.” He encouraged him with a rough but carnal kiss.

“We’ve never been naked… together.”

His brow rose up on his forehead in surprise, Naruto opened his mouth to say something but words seemed to miss. He sat on Sasuke’s lap, his chest bare and covered with chills. His hand was now gently massaging the Uchiha’s chest and his stomach. Slowly, tensions vanished and his body relaxed again. The thought was still here but the fact that Naruto was taking the time to reassure him was enough to convince him that everything would be fine. Especially when he added this with a voice so low and masculine, Sasuke’s brain stopped:

“The other night, I came under the shower when I thought about you, finally naked in my bed.”

Now, the only tension left was deliciously throbbing under his boxer. Naruto made use of Sasuke’s short lack of focus to start rubbing himself on his crotch. The first waving of his hips sent an electric shock through him and he arched involuntarily. Sasuke blushed and hid his face, not used to be so effusive. But Naruto snatched his hands again and forced him to look up and witness how much he was enjoying riding him. The blond was using his body but in a whole other way than Sasuke had imagined.

The Uchiha could feel everything, as if they were already skin to skin. But he craved more and he had no idea why and how he had survived this lack of contact before. He looked at Naruto, his lids half closed as he was still waving against him, and wished he could pleasure his partner too. But it was still too early for Sasuke to make decisions or to know what to do to his lover. So, in a shy attempt to establish contact, he laid his hands on his lover’s hips to follow the smooth rocking of his body. Naruto greeted him with a smile and leaned to gently bite his nose.

“Don’t you wanna be naked with me?” He whispered between two short breaths.

“Mh… yes…” Sasuke purred. “Can you… use the headband again, please?”

The Uchiha avoided his friend’s look, finding himself ashamed of his desires. But having his skilled eyes obstruct was the perfect way to make him let go of his apprehension. Wordlessly - and he wanted to thank him for it -, Naruto crawled to his bag and grabbed his own headband. Sasuke followed him with his eyes and watched him as the Uzumaki was frantically untying the fabric he had just taken off lazily the day before. His sight flew south and he noticed the bulge between Naruto’s thighs. It was big and it looked almost threatening. But Sasuke knew how it felt. He also knew that his partner was particularly skilled with it.

Back on the bed, Naruto carefully wrapped the piece of fabric and iron around Sasuke’s head, adjusting it so it would perfectly cover his eyes.

“Don’t peek.” He murmured with a bossy tone, aware that Sasuke could perfectly see, anyway.

Sasuke nodded and closed his eyes, his heart drumming in his chest. He was now aware of everything around him: the thread of cold air entering below the door, the strength Naruto was using to trap his body with his thick thighs, the light grazing of the tip of his locks on his chest as he was kissing between his pectorals… everything was ten times more intense. 

As if he had heard what Sasuke was thinking, Naruto decided to only touch him with the tip of his fingers. The callous pulps, used by years of shinobi training and fighting, brushed on his throat, followed the lines on his chest down his stomach and drew on his muscular abs. Sasuke tensed a little, his limbs swarming with anticipation and his mouth now half-opened. He could almost see Naruto’s grin, even though he was trying to repress the will of his eyes to see. Now, a finger was slowly circling around a nipple, making Sasuke squirm under him. It was so little, but yet so much. The Uchiha wasn’t used to being teased and touched with so much care.

When he expected it the least, he felt a warm and wet cocoon surround his nipple. Naruto had laid his lips on him, playing with his tongue on the sensitive nub of flesh as his hand was already torturing the other. Teeth got involved too, and Sasuke almost let out a loud moan. Naruto could feel his resistance still holding on, but he was resigned to break his walls. He abandoned Sasuke’s chest and went directly to his mouth to kiss him slowly, gently, all the while waving on his crotch to make him feel how much he wanted him. 

This time, a shy noise evaded Sasuke’s throat. He was too sensitive and he wanted Naruto too much too. His mind was gradually letting his body feel what it needed most. Kisses on his chest resumed and this time, Naruto licked and nibbled on every inch he could. It was hot, intimate and so good, Sasuke arched his body as the blond was treating his navel with his tongue. With the anticipation, the Uchiha was unable to hide the trembling of his muscles and his breath becoming shorter and shorter after each touch. Carried away by the sensations, he had forgotten about what was coming next. When Naruto finally pulled on his underwear, a chill of arousal and shyness ran through his spine and a rush of adrenaline hardened him even more.

When the boiling and sensitive skin of his cock met the cold air around, Sasuke couldn’t contain a whimper to pass through his lips. He didn’t get too much time to get used to it though, because Naruto’s breath was already on his thighs, close enough to warn Sasuke about his next move. Squirming in anticipation, the brunette tightened his legs and whined when Naruto spread him again with his broad shoulders. He wanted to speak, say something, but he didn’t know what. The truth was that Sasuke was pointlessly ashamed of being completely enslaved to the Uzumaki’s treatment. 

But if Sasuke had thought at first that he didn’t want to witness Naruto seeing him naked, his silence was also intimidating. The Uchiha was very aware that he was completely spread in front of his lover and it was the first time somebody had access to his body and his soul like that. He wasn’t so sure about anything anymore. What should he do? The air stuck in his throat, Sasuke bit his lip and took a deep breath. Interrupted in his task, Naruto laid his head on his lover’s stomach and whispered:

“Are you okay?”

“Hm… I… Are you?”

“Yes!” Naruto chuckled. “I’m more than okay. You’re gorgeous. Is that what’s bothering you?”

Sasuke subtly whined, making Naruto’s cheeks stretch in a smile against his skin. Not making him wait more, Naruto kissed the inside on his thighs, nuzzled his groin, licked and caressed all around his cock with his face. The blind one heard him move on the mattress to be more comfortable and each touch sent butterflies through Sasuke’s body. Unable to stay still, the Uchiha shifted his legs, tried to grab the sheets, even thought about taking off the blindfold. But Naruto wouldn’t let him.

“Don’t move.” He ordered as he tightened his grip on his hips.

Sasuke swallowed, his breath shortening when he thought about how naked and open he was in front of Naruto. Sensing his uneasiness crawling back again, Naruto kissed the inside of his thigh and whispered:

“You’re everything that I want.” He kissed again. “You’re so beautiful, Sasuke. I really want to make you feel good. Let me, please…”

Naruto’s voice echoed through all his limbs and Sasuke couldn’t help but purr and wave with desire. He had waited for those sweet words of release and Naruto was giving them to him. With one hand, Naruto guided Sasuke’s cock to his mouth and took the tip between his lips. It was the first time he was touching him there, and Sasuke thought he was going to melt and go straight to heaven. The warmth and the wetness of Naruto’s mouth was like a cloud. 

Soon, his tongue joined the dance as he was tenderly suckling on his shaft and caressing his thighs. Sasuke opened his mouth, searching for air while the naughty lips were teasing his length. Naruto took care of every vein, every inch of velvety skin around his throbbing member. A layer of sweat covered his entire body and the Uchiha thought he was going to die when Naruto started to suck him so intensely that he could feel his cheeks all around him.

Devoted to his pleasure, Naruto wanted to touch him everywhere. With his hand, he pulled lightly on his cock and watched Sasuke going nuts as the tension was rising between his long legs. Eager to taste more of his lover, Naruto pushed his thighs higher and played with his balls in his mouth. The Uchiha cried and cursed with surprise. It was so much that Sasuke tore the sheets in his hand and caged his head between his legs with strength, rewarding Naruto with a loud growl. Chuckling with content, Naruto tenderly caressed his thighs.

“You like it?”

Sasuke couldn’t answer. Instead, he ripped off the blindfold and threw it across the room to finally see Naruto. His lover was holding his shaft with his large and tanned hand, lips red and abused from the sucking, eyes glassy and darkened with desire. Between Naruto’s fingers, Sasuke had never been this hard. He would have regretted not having a sight of this. Especially when, glancing at him with defiance, Naruto licked the pearl of pre-cum on his pink slit with the tip of his tongue. 

“Naruto…” He desperately pleaded. 

The Uzumaki smiled and crawled up to give him a smooch, sharing his taste on their tongue. Stunned at first, Sasuke felt incredibly aroused and his legs wrapped instantely around his lover’s body. Naruto had gotten rid of his underwear too and the first touch of their cocks together made them both whimper. They stared at each other, cheeks so red, forehead so sweaty that locks of hair were sticking to their skin. Exactly how it was supposed to be from the beginning. 

Sasuke dived right into the blue lagoon of Naruto’s eyes and all he could see was undeniable love. It made him sweat more, his heart beat faster, his lips craving to be kissed again. His entire body was showing the both of them how much he desired the blond. And Naruto was no different. Sasuke had never thought he could be so aroused. His cock against Sasuke’s stomach, the Uzumaki was using every bit of strength inside him not to move. His muscles were tense and trembling from the effort. All those feelings and sensations made Sasuke as brave as he was vulnerable.

“I love you.” He whispered.

Naruto closed his mouth and looked at him in the eyes. It was the first time one of them was saying the words and they both had thought the blond would be the first to do it. But at that moment, Sasuke had no other choice but to voice how he felt. They stared a little longer in silence until Naruto smiled, truly relieved. He leaned and laid his mouth against Sasuke’s. It was soft at first, almost innocent. But the fire inside Naruto came back and his tongue joined for a passionate and wet embrace. Naruto kissed him so slowly and intensely that Sasuke stilled himself for a couple of seconds and came between them with a plaintive moan..

“Oh…” They both said, panting and surprised.

Sasuke hid behind his hands, body swarming and jolting with remains of his orgasm. He was so sensitive that the graze of Naruto’s cock against his stomach was enough to make him hard again. But Naruto ignored his sudden shyness and uncovered his face to kiss him with an equal amount of intensity.

“You’re so hot… I can’t believe you came when I kissed you. I want to make you come again.”

Sasuke waited for another kiss but he was flipped on his stomach without warning. His sticky belly met the mattress, but not for too long because Naruto was already pulling his hips up. He knew that position because that was all he had allowed before. But the Uchiha didn’t think Naruto would want to do it that way again. He wanted to see him. As he was about to gently protest, Sasuke’s voice was strangled in his throat when he felt the most unexpected sensation.

His face buried deep, Naruto had his tongue right between Sasuke's butt cheeks. The Uchiha cried as his lover was giving him no respite. It was impossible to breath or form sane words as Naruto was licking his ass. His tongue was torturing the sensitive hole and he was humming against him, his voice vibrating in Sasuke’s body. 

The black-haired boy had no control over his limbs anymore. He was obscenely arching his back and spreading his legs to give more access to his lover, whining and grunting shamelessly. His fingers dug deep inside Sasuke’s skin, bruising his hips, Naruto was eating him out with no restraint. The sensation was like no other. Sweet and rough at the same time. Possessive and generous. The embodiment of their relationship. 

Biting the pillow, Sasuke drooled all over the sheets and tried to hold it together. His cock and balls were dangling heavily between his legs and he missed the rubbing on his skin already. The ache was delicious and the burn in his loins was spreading through his whole body. Sasuke spread his cheeks himself, but as he felt the wet muscle entering him to taste his body, he begged Naruto for mercy with a broken voice.

The blond seemed to relish on the sweet noises he was making and the savor of his skin. Sasuke didn’t know if he was tight or loose anymore. His body alternated between intense trance and spasms of pleasure. In the madness of the situation, Sasuke’s uncontrollable desire to have Naruto all to himself woke up again. He had not touched him yet. The blond had done everything by himself. Unable to stand it, he called him again, his voice broken and almost unrecognizable. Naruto rewarded him with a last lap, kissed his loins, followed the crook of his spine until he reached his nape and his mouth. Once again, they shared Sasuke’s taste on Naruto’s tongue and the brunette purred when he felt his lover’s cock aligning with his. They waved together, the blond finally being able to find relief with a touch as Sasuke was arching more intensely. But the Uchiha wanted more this time.

Completely uninhibited by pleasure, he rolled on his back and took possession of his lover’s lips again. His ass, still wet from Naruto’s treatment, asked to be taken care of again. Sasuke tangled their fingers together and brought them between his thighs. He was ready to make love with no pain, just pleasure, and he wanted Naruto to know. Finding its way between Sasuke’s legs, Naruto’s fingers started to rub against his hole, eliciting obscene noises from him. The brunette was burning, sweating and asking for more, not sure that he would be able to handle it.

“Mh… you feel so ready…” Naruto whispered against his lips.

“I am. Please…”

A growl born in his chest came out of Naruto’s mouth, like a feline finally holding his prey between his paws. The Uzumaki moved cautiously until he was perfectly laid above him. They stared at each other while the blond was nuzzling his face and trying to find the perfect angle to take him. Sasuke wrapped one leg around his waist as Naruto pulled the other on his shoulder. There was no way he could move right now. He was completely bent, stretched and opened for him.

“I love you too, Sasuke.”

Naruto was smiling faintly, his desire already taking over his will to be romantic. With hooded eyes, they shared a last glance before they were forced to close their lids, carried away by the sensations building in their groins. Finally inside him, Naruto felt amazing. Big, warm and filling his every desire. Sasuke didn’t feel the pain, just a little pinch where Naruto was stretching him the most. Connected in the most intimate way, they held each other tighter, if that was even possible. Feeling like Sasuke’s body was completely welcoming him inside, Naruto didn’t wait longer to move.

Caged between the Uchiha’s legs, the Jinchuuriki thrusted as deeply as he could. Fire had spread from their crotch to their entire bodies and the two shinobi struggled keeping everything together. Sasuke dug his nails into Naruto’s slippery skin and bruised him a little on the shoulders. At last, he realized that sex could be wild and romantic at the same time. When he finally opened his eyes again, he was mesmerized by the sight of Naruto above him. 

Eyes still closed, lips opened, redness spreading on his chest, his throat and even on his cheek where the adorable whiskers had darkened. He noticed how sharp Naruto’s canines looked from below, how wide and strong he was. His heart beat faster, completely transcended by the love that he felt for the Uzumaki and he clenched around him, to make him feel just as good. Naruto growled and got back at him with a nip on his lower lip.

Sasuke opened his mouth and let his tongue out to meet Naruto’s. Soon, the room was filled with wet noises, moanings and short breaths. The friction in his ass sent shocks up to the roots of his hair and down to his toes. He wondered if Naruto felt good inside him too. Noticing that he started to feel discomforted with that position, he pushed Naruto with a kiss. But he didn’t have to talk, the blond already knew what he wanted and needed. He sat and pulled Sasuke on his lap so he could rest on him. His arms wrapped around Naruto’s neck, legs straddling from each side of his body, the Uchiha lifted his hips to let him in again. They stayed still for a moment, enjoying the quietness around them, only disturbed by the sound of their breath. They needed to be close to each other so badly that Naruto sealed their lips harder as his arms strangled Sasuke’s waist. 

“I love you.” He whispered again. 

Sasuke started moving, unable to wait longer. Electric shocks ran through his body again and he felt his hole stretching as he impaled himself up to the hilt on Naruto. He winced in pain. But it had nothing to do with what they had done in the past. There, Sasuke felt the ache go away almost instantly thanks to his partner’s kisses on his face and neck. Riding him in that position allowed Sasuke to watch Naruto burying his face against his chest to lick the sweat between his pectorals and smell his natural scent. The need to be physically close slowly transformed in an animal instinct they couldn’t ignore.

All around their limbs, a flow of chakra was running through their meridians, connecting them like never before. They were in sync with body and mind. After waving on top of Naruto with slowness and sensuality, Sasuke grew tired of the exquisite tension in his lower belly. He needed to rekindle the fire in their loins. WIth the strength of his thighs, he started jumping on Naruto’s cock, his hair flying around his face and a slight smile blooming on the corners of his open mouth. Naruto opened his eyes widely and watched him bounce on his lap without hesitation. Sasuke had been craving for the sensation of being in charge and pleasuring Naruto. 

Taken by surprise, Naruto quickly caught up his pace and with his hand now supporting his waist, he moved so their body could connect more intensely. Both of their faces were reddened by heat and their skins were damp with sweat. The Uchiha whimpered every time his cock was trapped between their stomachs and the delicious friction sent shivers through his whole body. He was so close he could feel the flames licking his insides. Naruto was trying to go on top again, but he wouldn’t let him.

For once, Sasuke was in charge and he had no intention of letting Naruto do all the work. The Jinchuuriki was doing enough. With a rough thrust, Sasuke overturned Naruto who fell on his back with a loud thud. Still connected by the blond’s cock, the two stared at each other with defiance. The Uchiha bit his lip when he caught a glimpse of the mess he had done on his liver’s body: lovebites and nail marks were scarring his chest and his abs were clenching with tension. He was so hot that it sent a rush of adrenaline right down his cock. Naruto smiled as Sasuke was fucking himself on top of him, a drop of sweat gliding down his temple, hair stuck to his nape and lips so dry they were falling apart. His dick wasn’t in good shape either. Sasuke, craving to be touched, moved brutally above him, leaning enough so his dark pink and leaking tip could brush against Naruto’s groin.

“Fuck… Sasuke… that’s exactly how it’s supposed to b-be.”

“Shut up.”

The Uzumaki chuckled and pulled his partner closer, locking their lips together. Sasuke answered with a bite he healed right after with a tender lick. But there was no time for games now. As heavy as Sasuke was on top of Naruto, the blond wouldn’t let his best rival win. He bit him right on the jugular and waited for Sasuke to let his guard down to roll on top again. They weren’t on the futon anymore. Laying on the tatami, Sasuke looked at him with fury in his deep crimson and purple eyes. Naruto grinned in victory but didn’t let Sasuke use any Genjutsu on him. He was already pinning him hard on the floor, caging his cock between them, making him tremble and scream desperately.

It didn’t take long beforel they both came. As pleasure was hitting every corner of his being, Sasuke couldn’t care less about winning anymore. He just wanted to feel good and share it with Naruto. Coiled between his arms, Naruto let his hips move frantically between his lover’s legs and hit him with strength and tenderness at the same time. His legs wrapped higher than ever around the blond’s waist, Sasuke felt all of his muscle flex when he hit climax. 

It was dazzling. Like a meteor hitting the ground, waves of pleasure and adrenaline wiped everything inside him. His sadness was suddenly obliterated. He didn’t even scream, his voice locked inside his throat. His sight went blank for a moment as he could feel all the tension he had accumulated inside him for months washing away. As he came between them, Sasuke let his tears flood out of his eyes, as if he had no control over them anymore.

Above him, Naruto had stilled too and he was growling in his ears. He could feel the Uzumaki emptying himself right inside him. It felt good, natural and he wondered how it was possible he could have deprived himself from such sensation. When Naruto fell on him, Sasuke was panting. He had no strength anymore, he couldn’t even hold his lover. After both bodies were shook with spasms and last spurts of luxure, they stayed silent for a while. 

Finally, Naruto slipped on his side, helped by their glistening skins. They stared at the ceiling, then at each other and smiled. The blond was about to talk when Sasuke shut him up with a finger on his lips. It was his turn to reassure his lover.

“I am going to get my shit together. I promise.”

“I know you will.”

They simultaneously turned to be face to face and wrapped their arms around each other, locking their bodies closer. Hair falling on their foreheads, they both traced lines on their skin to learn every detail, bump and crook by heart. Sasuke lost himself in the azure of Naruto’s eyes, the tiny freckles covering his cheeky nose, the dark pink of his full lips and of course, the whiskers on his cheeks. He caressed them with the tip of his finger, feeling the light bump below his knuckles and remembered the cost of those wild marks on Naruto's face. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt the love of his life ever again.

“It was as exhausting as a fight.” Naruto whispered with a smile in his voice.

“I’d fight you like this every day.”

“Hm… who are you and what have you done to my best friend?” He chuckled as he started eating Sasuke’s lips again.

  
  


Rival. Sasuke smiled in their kiss. Best friend. He let a single tear roll on the swell of his cheek. Lover. He deepened the kiss and slipped his hand between Naruto’s legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter to go and we're done with this story. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.  
> Don't worry, it's not that easy to get rid of "the voice". 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. As always, you're the best!  
> xx  
> Merry Christmas!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> This took so much time to update and I'm sorry! I rewrote this chapter several times, I was never satisfied with it. It's more than 10k long, more than 20 pages on google drive. I am exhausted but finally satisfied. I'm really nervous about this one but I guess I shouldn't since... well, I don't think I can do better. This story is ending and I'm thanking you all for being so supporting with comments, kudos and stuff.  
> Enjoy this last chapter!

“It’s still weird to me.” Naruto said with a sleepy voice.

Sasuke spun his head to look at him. He was sipping on his morning tea, the shape of his profile standing out in the diffuse light. They were seated on the rooftop of the Uchiha’s building, admiring the dawn like every morning for the last two weeks. The first lights were appearing over the treetops surrounding the village, the sky was slowly turning light purple and if it wasn’t for the slow breeze between the branches, everything was quiet. 

“What is?” He asked while admiring his lover’s messy blond hair.

“That voice you hear.”

Naruto had not left Sasuke since they had come back from their date. The Uzumaki had retrieved his stuff from his apartment and declared domicile in the Uchiha’s place. Not that Sasuke would complain about it. It was weirdly domestic, but he loved it. The two shinobi were getting used to one another. Soon, a routine had settled between them. Watching the sunrise was the first step of their long days. Sasuke was usually waking up very early due to his rough nights. The nightmares had stopped but he was still afraid to close his eyes. Pulled out of slumber by his partner’s absence against his warm body, Naruto would quickly follow him on the rooftop with a hot cup of tea for each of them.

“I’m not sure there is anything more I can do about it. I’m trying to shut it out…”

“But how come you can’t control it? Sasuke, you have absolute control over your chakra. Don’t tell me there is nothing you can do-”

“Naruto, we talked about this. I don’t know.”

Sensing his boyfriend was tensing, Naruto stopped talking about it for a moment. They looked at the moon slowly fading in the purple sky. Sasuke wished he had answers for his friend. He wished he could reassure him. But being with him was the only thing he was certain about. Naruto was the key to his happiness. Without him, he had no future. 

“Look.” Naruto said, pointing at a bright square on the other side of Konohagakure. “The Hokage’s tower is the only place where there is already light.”

“Or maybe he never left his office.” Sasuke sighed. 

“Poor Kakashi-sensei. He must be so tired. Why don’t we pay him a visit and you can talk to him about it?” Naruto tried.

“Aren’t you afraid to lose your freedom when you’ll be Hokage?” Sasuke dismissed his question.

Naruto smiled and straddled Sasuke from behind, his thighs now around him, and his chin resting on the black-haired boy’s shoulder. The Uchiha could tell he wasn’t going to escape this. Naruto knew him too well now. In a way, it was reassuring to know that he wasn’t able to live like he always had. Naruto wouldn’t let him slip.

“Don’t change the subject.” He whispered, his hands now covering Sasuke’s around his mug.

“I thought we could keep this between us.” He whispered hesitantly.

“We need help… I can’t watch you all the time and I really can’t be self-assured if I know you’re struggling.”

“I’m keeping it under control.”

“You just said you’re not.” Naruto was not giving Sasuke the time to protest. “And anyway, you can’t live like this. Fighting your inside demons all the time… we’ve been there, you and me. We know it ain’t no life.”

Sasuke took a sip in silence and bit his lips. He wanted to cry, but he swallowed the tears. Naruto didn’t need to be more worried than he already was. Around him, Naruto’s arms tightened their grip and surrounded him with love. The sunrays were starting to shine over them and their warmth already made that day better.

“Kakashi-sensei would want to know.” He added to try to convince him. “He’s like a father figure to us.”

“Maybe for you…” Sasuke laughed joylessly.

“You’re being unfair. Sure, I spent more time with him than you have. But before you left, you were his favorite student.”

It was true, the Uchiha couldn’t deny it. A feeling of pride bloomed inside him. Hatake Kakashi was a fierce and powerful ninja. Even as a stupid kid, Sasuke had been aware of it and thrilled to be put on team 7 with him. His teacher had put his trust in him as soon as they met. He had never doubted his abilities and even taught him the ways of the shinobi. Chidori had been one of his most precious gifts, along with his protection. Now that he was Hokage, the young man was ashamed to stand before him. Not as a fellow ninja, but as a member of his team and his found family.

Naruto tightened his embrace and gave him a kiss under the ear to offer his partner some comfort. As always, Sasuke was so permeable to the Uzumaki that he instantly felt warmer in body and mind. He could feel his adorable face nuzzling his nape and shoulder, making him shiver from lust.

“Naruto, stop. I’ve got an assignment today. I can’t…”

“Okay… but tonight we have to...” The young shinobi responded, his hands already under Sasuke’s night shirt.

“Tonight!” The Uchiha stopped him with a chuckle. “God, you’re thirsty.”

“Don’t act like you hate it, baka!” Naruto shouted while Sasuke was jumping back in his apartment by the window.

Of course he loved it. They had been so physical during the past few days that he couldn’t remember a night when he had not ended up naked, disheveled and shaking from his orgasm. Naruto was an insatiable lover. He was using in bed the same energy he always had during training. His lips, his hands… he was everywhere on Sasuke’s body. He loved him in ways the Uchiha never thought could be possible. It confused Sasuke sometimes, but the brunette wasn’t going to show his eternal rival that he couldn’t take another round. Especially when Naruto was teasing and provoking him.

With his exquisite tongue, Naruto was drawing obscene stuff on his partner’s skin and eliciting noises and grunts he was ashamed to make. But the Uzumaki didn’t seem to have enough of him. Sasuke often ended up trapped between Naruto’s body and the wall of his shower, unable to resist him. His back arched and his forehead against the wet tiles, he let Naruto come inside him and use him as he pleased. But this had nothing to do with how they used to have sex. Naruto was doing everything in his power to make Sasuke lose control. Slow thrusts, languorous kisses, hands that caress, mouth that covers with bites and hickeys… The Uzumaki wasn’t sparing one inch of Sasuke’s body. And once he reached the point where the Uchiha was begging to let him come, that’s when he would finally give him the wild sex he was waiting for. 

Not later than the night before, Sasuke had let Naruto tie his wrists to the bed and make him come with his lips. The Uchiha had felt so powerless but the sensations had been tenfolded. He was unable to choose for himself and Naruto was skilled when it came to know what his partner needed in bed. His body covered with saliva and cum, Sasuke had tried to know what was going on inside his lover’s head. The blond was now seated on the other side of the bed, his cock against his stomach, lips dry and abused, cheeks red and eyes wet. He looked like the hottest mess there was. 

Sasuke had untied himself with his ninja skills and had crawled on all fours until he had reached Naruto and had kissed him with lust. For the first time since they had started sleeping together, he had had the courage to take him in his mouth. It was something he had dreamed to do since he had started to like Naruto that way. But he had never dared. What if he wasn’t good at this? But the look Naruto had given him when Sasuke had kneeled on the floor and pulled his legs to be closer to his crotch… it had told him everything he needed to know. Naruto wanted this, he was burning for this. And it had been the weirdest, most powerful feeling in the world. Sasuke was controlling Naruto with his tongue. What a thrill to feel his blood pumping through his thick veins, the trembling of his thighs, the heat of his velvety skin and the moist leaking from his smooth tip! Sasuke didn’t have enough of him and he kept sucking Naruto until the boy fucked his mouth while grunting like a beast.

As he put on his shinobi attire, Sasuke smiled and thought that life was sweet. He left their home confidently, wishing nothing would ever change. He had been assigned to a decryption mission and his day went on smoothly. In fact, since he was living with Naruto, his daily life had changed. Colors were brighter, food tasted better and it wasn’t so hard to get along with the people in the village. He had even accepted Neji’s invitation to train in the Hyuuga’s quarters with him. The two shinobi were both discrete and calm men. They enjoyed each other’s company. The fact that they were both heirs to a powerful Kekkei Genkai allowed them to get even closer.

At noon, Naruto and Sasuke would often eat together by the river. Seated on the bank, the two shinobi were sharing a meal, their feet dangling above the water. Sasuke leaned to look at their reflection. Naruto, with his sunny blond hair, was glowing. When he shifted his eyes to look at himself, his heart skipped a beat. His reflection trembled as the water wrinkled and he frowned. His face was so pale and emaciated that he looked already dead. Between the familiar lines, another face appeared. It was a man. An old man. Someone Sasuke knew but couldn’t recognize at first. The young Uchiha blinked but the face disappeared.

“What is it?” Naruto pulled him out of his reverie as he watched over the riverbank with him.

“I thought I saw… nevermind.”

The blond probed Sasuke’s face and when he couldn’t read what he was thinking, he smiled and took his hand. 

“We should go out tonight, you and me.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know… I think we’re ready to be out… officially.”

“Aren’t you scared it’s gonna break the heart of all of your girlfriends?”

Naruto laughed and licked his fingers covered with soy sauce. Sasuke watched him as he stretched his neck to come closer to him and close the distance between them to give him a smooch. His lips tasted good with the savory relish of their lunch. The Uchiha wanted to deepen the kiss but they were in public and he wasn’t ready for the display yet.

“Hm…” Naruto growled when they parted. “I miss you already. I wish we could spend our day at home… just the two of us. Or in the forest by the river… naked…”

“Oh…” Sasuke felt his skin covering itself with chills.

“And I’d make love to you… all day…”

They were so close to each other that their breath melted together. Sasuke closed his eyes and bit his lip as he tried not to respond to Naruto’s calls. He was so weak for him, so unused to be so aroused all the time. The blond kissed the corner of his mouth and smiled softly before resuming to eat. How could he do that? Sasuke wondered. He was so skilled in everything, even in the art of flirting. 

They ate the rest of their lunch in silence, enjoying each other’s presence and when Naruto finished drinking his bottle of water, he finally turned to Sasuke and the Uchiha knew he was up for an intervention.

“Are you okay?

“Naruto, I told you I’d speak if I had any doubt.”

He sighed, but deep down, he realized that was untrue. Just minutes before, when he had watched himself in the water he had seen something strange and had not said anything. Since that appearance, Sasuke could feel something growing inside him and making him uneasy. It was heavy and made him gloomy. But he couldn’t alarm Naruto for… something he thought he saw. Or for a feeling. The blond was looking at him, worried as he always was. How could he hurt him?

“I’m fine. I promise.”

“Okay… I just want to make sure you are. I want us to move on.”

They kissed again. This time, Sasuke tried to express how much he was sorry and how much he loved him even if he wasn’t always honest with him. Naruto deserved to be protected too. He deserved to feel happy and safe once in a while. Sasuke would heal, he would do something about it. But right now, since he had no idea what it was, telling Naruto would be pointless.

The Uzumaki left his friend in front of the secret services building and went back to work. Too absorbed by his mission of the day, Sasuke had forgotten about that weird encounter by the river. The rattle in the back of his mind was here, but since he was used to it, Sasuke didn’t pay attention to the fact that it was growing louder with each passing hour. It was only on his way back home that he felt that something was wrong. He had a headache but suspected it was from decoding all day long. He wanted to stop at the supermarket to buy some instant ramen for Naruto, but his body felt weak. A cold shiver ran through his limbs and head, rendered feverish. Sasuke stopped for a moment in a dark alley to breathe in and out. His heart was beating fast and more and more frantically in his chest. He had to go home and rest.

But right when he was about to move and get back on the main street, he fell on his knees. Eyes widened by the shock, the Uchiha’s scream stayed stuck in his throat. He had gone blind, his sight annihilated by a flash of white light. Inside his skull, his brain was boiling, abused by a loud and shrill noise he had never heard. Sasuke tried to get back on his feet, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t feel the ground under his hands or his knees anymore. Reality didn’t exist any longer. He was in a blinding whiteness, a headache so painful it was like his brain was about to melt and flow out of his ears.

He tried to form a fist with his knuckles, but it was like his muscles had abandoned him too. A vivid pain pounded on his bones, as if somebody was beating him from the inside. The strident tinnitus in his ears was still loud, but it sounded like it was divided itself into different noises. There wasn’t one whistle anymore but two, three, four and soon, Sasuke was drowned under thousands of vociferous hisses. 

He fell head first on the floor, his arms unable to hold him anymore. Completely stunned, Sasuke stayed in the same position and tried to concentrate on what was happening inside him. Even if he was unable to see, he could feel the particles of dust entering his lungs and knew this would be bad if he stayed like this. The shinobi had no idea where he was and how long it lasted, but he knew, as a trained ninja, that he couldn’t let himself slip like that. He had never felt such pain and the fact that he couldn’t control his body any longer stressed him even more. As he was about to choke on the dust and vomit his own pulsing heart with anxiety, Sasuke remembered who he was and what he was able to do. With his last strengths, he dug in his soul for the right switch to turn off. But the whistles had not calmed down. On the contrary, it seemed like every one of them was starting to transform into a unique sound and slowly, they resembled human voices. 

He lost a heartbeat when he recognized Itachi’s voice. Amongst all of them, it was his brother he could hear. As he was trying to get his shit together, another arrow hit him right into the guts. Uchiha Mitoko and Fugaku’s voices were now echoing in his brain. Even paralyzed and unconscious, Sasuke felt the tears running down his cheeks. He had not heard his parents’ voices in nearly fifteen years. They were calling him and he had no idea where to look to find them again. The young man didn’t have time to get acquainted with his parent’s presence because other voices piled on them: Shisui’s, Izumi’s, grandma Uruchi - the old baker from the clan - and his father’s police officers, Inabi and Yashiro... Those were the voices of his childhood, the ones he was hearing every day in the Uchiha’s compound. Thousands of others were added and he knew for sure they were Uchiha’s. 

He couldn’t think clearly anymore. The voices were loud, accusatory and blaming him for everything that had happened to the clan. 

“You should have never stayed alive.”

“You’re a coward who can’t even restore our honor.”

“Your brother should have killed you too.”

“Set Konoha on fire or disappear.”

Sasuke screamed but no sound came out of his mouth. Each violent truth stabbed him like a chakra blade through his vital organs. Like a lost boy seeking his parents, Sasuke’s soul ran through the maze of his tortuous mind. He wanted to see them, his mom and dad, and even his big brother. Even if he knew it was a trap and it would be painful. Even if he drowned and died from it. He didn’t care anymore. As the voices kept screaming at him, hurting him from the inside, Sasuke realized he had no control over anything anymore.

The mighty Uchiha Sasuke was powerless against the demons inhabiting him. And they were right, all of them. They were right. Trapped in his nightmare, he wondered if this was his reality now. He had forgotten about everything else. There was no light but the tiny sparkle on the other side of the tunnel leading to his mother’s voice. He wanted to find her arms again and the warmth of her body. He wanted to hear her tell him everything was going to be okay. He wanted to go back to that night and beg Itachi to stab him just like the rest of the clan, just so his pain could be over for good.

He was coming to the end of the tunnel now. Mitoko’s white and forgiving hand was reaching for him and soon, he would be able to see her beautiful face. Just ten more steps. Just another blink and he would see her. He stretched his arm, looking so small and chubby as he realized he was a little boy again. He called his mother, reached for her hand. He was so close to be reunited with her. As the tip of his fingers brushed Mitoko’s and her perfect smile was revealed to him, she suddenly disappeared. Sasuke screamed in horror while the floor lurched under his feet. He fell endlessly, his cry disappearing into darkness.

When he opened his eyes again, Sasuke was drenched and cold. He didn’t have time to realize where he was that someone threw a bucket of icy water on him. Shivering and tetanized, Sasuke tried to catch his breath stuck in his throat and looked around. The violent buzzing in his ears was still here and his head was falling heavily against his chest. He still had no control over his body. It was a frightening situation and the first time Sasuke felt like he was dying from despair. Though, a warm touch seemed to anchor him in this reality. He could feel a tight and strong grip holding his arms from behind and trying to keep him on his feet. His brain fighting to stay awake, he recognized the distant but brave voice of the love of his life.

Naruto was battling against everyone to get help. Slowly, his senses awakened and caught up on his surroundings. He could smell the familiar scent: he was in the Hokage’s office. Under his jaw, Kakashi’s strong and callous hands were cupping his face to keep him steady. In front of him, Yamanaka Ino was trying to possess his mind and deliver him from his hysteria. When he felt her enter, the girl screamed in horror inside his brain and vanished instantly, falling on the floor as Shikamaru was jumping to hold her before she could hit her head. 

“Sasuke!” Kakashi yelled. But The Uchiha was too far gone and he had no idea why he should come back. He wanted to go back inside his head and find his mom, curl up in her arms and let her rock him into the night. He wanted to feel his big brother’s hand on top of his head and his father’s voice telling them he was proud of his sons. Why would he stay with them if he could have all of that?

The falling shinobi heard the people around him talk. Powerless now that he was facing the reality of his friend’s suffering, Naruto sounded out of his mind. But the sixth Hokage was speaking calmly, keeping his composure, as usual. Sasuke closed his eyes again and tried to find his mom. He was calling her, desperate to see her reappear. As darkness was slowly reclosing on him, a violent sting forced him back on Earth. Compelling Sasuke’s eyes to stay open with his fingers, Kakashi was ordering him to look in the mirror Shikamaru was holding right in front of him.

It took a minute for the Uchiha to still his crazy pupils. He had no idea where he found the strength to do it, especially since he wanted to close his eyes so badly. When he finally looked at himself, he noticed the dark halos around his eyes. At first, all he could see were the bright crimson and purple pupils and the black tomoe circling the center. They were beautiful. The last sign of his heritage. His face had gone pale, lips bluish, emaciated like a corpse. His black locks were sticking to his skin, making him look like he was on the edge of death. Above him, Kakashi was still instructing him to look in the mirror. The grip around his eyes intensified and Sasuke wanted to tell him to fuck off. But he was incapable of doing anything but stare in the void of his reflection. 

As he was still trying to close his eyes and forever disappear into the mess that was his soul, the mirror slightly moved. It happened in the blink of an eye and someone without Sasuke’s skilled sight wouldn’t have noticed. During that ridiculous time lapse, the Uchiha caught a glimpse of the boy holding his head behind him. His sunny blond hair, his lagoon blue eyes, his beautiful lips he adored to see stretch in a smile. He remembered his name. But Naruto wasn’t smiling anymore. His mouth was so pressed it looked like a slit. The whiskers on his cheeks were falling miserably in angst and his usually tanned skin looked greyish. 

“Naruto…”

Around him, they all went quiet, except Kakashi whose voice was now filled with fear.

“Sasuke! Look into your eyes!”

Sasuke finally grasped what Kakashi wanted him to do. But did he want it too? As he was weighing his possibilities, the boy felt the warm and familiar palms around his neck and realized what he would lose if he gave up. A feeling darker than death itself spread through his guts. He had lived and survived all the traumas in the world. He had found love again and his love was counting on him. How selfish it would be if he abandoned him right now. How cruel it would be to betray the only man who believed in him even when he was a monster.

Before he could change his mind, the Uchiha dived into his own eyes reflecting in the mirror and activated his Sharingan. Snapped up into his sight, Sasuke concentrated enough to bewitch himself. When he found the right switch, he entered his own soul as an external visitor. Everything was frozen.

It was a strange feeling to be inside your own soul. It was dark, cold and Sasuke felt like something was watching him. He wasn’t alone and this thought terrified him. When he landed where he wanted, he heard the voices loud and clear. He was going to see his mother, his father and his brother. One last time. But when he turned around to meet them, his heart broke a bit more.

The voice had materialized in human forms, but as Sasuke walked closer to them, he could see they weren’t the members of his clan. As resembling as they seemed when he was vulnerable, now that he was recovering his lucidity, they were nothing alike. They looked like smoke puppets. Miserable and failed shadow clones. As if the person who had implanted them in his mind only had a vague memory of them. He turned around his mother to observe her. She didn’t have the beautiful face he remembered. His father looked like the shadow of himself. And Itachi was just a pale copy of the magnificent shinobi he once was. Sasuke looked at him, his heart breaking as he was slowly vanishing, like that time after they broke Edô Tensei together. 

With the tip of his fingers, Sasuke touched the smoke bodies and looked at his hand crossing them like they had never been there. Nothing was real. Not even in his mind. He looked around for the key to this unknown spell. For years, Sasuke had been haunted by the most evil illusion. He had let something or someone poison him from the inside. Now that he was finally reaching happiness, that curse tried to annihilate him by making him believe it would be better to live in a dream with his family. He had seen it once, during the war, but he had never thought something could be possible now. And there was only one way to enchant someone like this: with a Genjutsu. Who would have done this to him? He was the last bearer of the Uchiha’s legacy.

Like a maniac, Sasuke dug into his soul to find the intruder. He made a mess in his thoughts, cracked the walls of his mind, fought his deepest fears and shames to detect the malefice. He had no idea how long his internal battle lasted but he could feel his eye weakened. As if Naruto had sensed it too, he tightened his embrace around Sasuke’s body and shared with him his bright chakra. The warmth penetrated him immediately and empowered him. He could never have enough of his lover’s help and trust. Finding back his willpower, Sasuke dived deeper in the abyss of his mysterious spirit. Around him, the darkness seemed less frightening, as if Naruto's support was lighting the way. Once he reached the bottom, there was nothing but a heavy feeling of loneliness pinning him to the ground, as if gravity had suddenly changed. 

But his friend had rekindled his flame and he was ready to fight whoever came his way. In the obscurity, he noticed several red dots beaming. Sasuke's heart raced faster in his chest as a sentiment of terror crawled inside him. He shivered when the shape of a man stood out in the shadows. He knew that presence, he had met this chakra before. Sasuke couldn't believe he was trapped in his own spirit with a malevolent presence he had no idea was here in the first place. Sasuke kneaded his chakra to make sure he was ready to fight whoever would come his way. Before he could identify exactly who it was, the scarred face of the former master of the Foundation appeared. Danzô was standing before him, a sinister smile splitting his face in half. Sasuke looked at him, panting and terrorized. It was him he had seen in the river. The old man he had fought and killed had been living in his mind for years, haunting every step he had taken. 

“Did you enjoy your curse, Sasuke-kun?” He asked, with that same, dreadful voice Sasuke knew too well now.

“It was you.”

“Who else?”

His hands balling into fists, Sasuke prepared for battle. He was in own soul, he had the high ground. But first, he needed to know why.

“Why?” Danzô said before Sasuke could even ask, drawing frustration and anger out of the young Uchiha. “Because you Uchihas destroyed everything I and our ancestors fought for! Konohagakure was lost because of you.”

“Liar. It was your hateful speech that fed the rebellion. _You_ casted us away. _You_ made sure we knew how much the village despised us, even if we were innocent.”

“Innocent.” Danzô chuckled sarcastically. “Uchihas are vermins. They don’t know that word.”

Sasuke recalled all those times when the voice had called him names, reminded him how evil he was because of the Uchiha blood running into his veins. And he had believed it. He had been stupid enough to listen to the ranting of an old man who, in the last moment of his life, didn’t beg for mercy but cursed the last survivor of a martyr clan.

“You will bring dishonor to Konohagakure and will rule with that cruelty you Uchihas love so much.” Danzô added before smiling evilly. “And you were so easy to manipulate.”

Sasuke swallowed heavily. Was he ready to hear that he had been weak and naive, just like his brother had feared? That he had not learned a single lesson from his past experiences? He would gladly dismiss it but he knew that in order to beat Danzô, he should know what went wrong.

“What do you mean?” He spat out.

“I didn’t even need to dig deep into you to find the right means to bring you down.”

Next to Danzô, another Sasuke appeared. The Uchiha watched himself falling to his knees. His hair was hiding his face, his fists trembling as he was trying to get back on his feet. He looked exhausted with the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. Sasuke bit his lip as he watched his avatar cry and scream desperately for help.

“This is you.” Danzô said with a snarky tone. “This is what you are inside. Miserable, alone, lost. I didn’t have to do anything because this is how I found you. _You_ made this situation possible, Sasuke-kun. _You_ let your suffering cloud your judgement as a shinobi. This would have never been possible with a trustworthy ninja. All I did was to whisper out loud what you already thought silently.”

Sasuke was frozen. His twin was now crawling on the floor, his limbs weak and trembling. He was still crying but his strength had left him and now, he looked like he was about to faint from exhaustion. Sasuke shifted his gaze back on Danzô who looked pretty satisfied with his plan.

“I’m glad I kept an eye on you. After your little crisis, you were beaten by Uzumaki Naruto. But now that you’re back in the village, it seems like you’re trying to control him. You think I haven’t seen your method? That I don’t know what you’re capable of now that you have Kyuubi by your side?”

A growling fury increased inside him. Calling Naruto Kyuubi and assuming he was with him to accomplish an evil design was worse than trying to bring him down. Sasuke would not allow it. That old man had kept that monstrous image of him. Sasuke couldn’t deny that everything Danzô had imagined had been a reality once. But the Foundation master was wrong. The Uchiha wasn’t cruel. He was just alone. Sasuke grabbed the katana he always had in his back and held it with confidence. The last remains of Danzô would be destroyed now and forever.

“Killing you slowly was my revenge for not allowing me to take your brother’s eyes.”

“You lost, old man.” Sasuke spat out as he was trying to ignore Danzô’s attempt to unsaddle him.

The monster before him walked closer, the crimson eyes beaming bright in the dark pit of Sasuke’s soul. As he was about to thump another brutal truth to him, Sasuke spun on himself and let his long and sharp blade destroy the last bits of chakra Danzô had left inside him. But as he was stabbing him in the stomach, a darkness escaped the wound and gripped the blade. That weird and frightening shadow knitted around the katana up to the hilt until it trapped Sasuke's hand too. The Uchiha tried to escape, a scream of terror stuck in his throat. But the darkness was strong and soon, it covered his entire arm and paralysed his shoulder.

"You can't beat me. I'm part of you now."

Sasuke screamed, called for help as the shadow was starting to swallow him entirely. Underneath his feet, the ground became sticky as if it was covered with a gooey swamp. Sasuke was pulled from everywhere. He resisted as much as he could, his eyes crossing Danzô's. He looked at his enemy with all the hate he had kept inside him. The Foundation master had orchestrated the murder of his entire clan, used his loving brother and now, he had implanted fake voices of his family inside his brain. The Uchihas had suffered enough. They wouldn't hurt him on purpose. They weren't the cruel people everybody wanted them to be. Danzô smiled again, as if he had already won. But he was Uchiha Sasuke. This wasn't how he was going to die.

Sasuke searched in his inner self, kneading as much chakra as he could. He couldn't use any fatal technique because he had no idea what would be the consequences on his soul. He was still inside himself and setting everything on fire was - perhaps - a bit risky. Maybe if he looked into his mind he would find enough strength to fight Danzô once again. When he scratched the walls of his spirit, Sasuke found something else. Something far more precious than strength and power. It was love, warmth and support. It appeared to him like jewels hidden in the black cave of his soul. They were colourful, shiny and covering the walls like droplets of fire. Every time he got closer to them, he could hear a voice, clearer than any voices he had had inside his head. It was telling him something he had heard before. Sasuke realized that the hidden gems in his soul were memories of his friends. If he was still here and still sane, it was thanks to them. Sasuke touched the shiny stones and thought about the people surrounding him with love. They were waiting for him in the real world. They were the reasons he was alive and wanted to survive and thrive. He faced Danzô again but this time, Sasuke was the one who was smiling. The darkness knitting around the shinobi's body was fading as he grew brighter. In front of him, the shape of the old man tried to fight the wound in his abdomen but it was too late. Sasuke's mind was already rejecting that evil chakra out of himself. The Uchiha ran to save the remain of his gaunt soul still lying on the floor. He kneeled and pulled the little shape against him. How could he change himself? How could he help someone that looked so desperate? 

“I’m better now.” He said to the inert corpse. “I’m fighting. You are not alone.”

His voice was hesitant and he felt ridiculous doing it. But an image flashed into his brain. Somewhere in another reality, Uzumaki Naruto was holding him just like that and sharing his bright chakra with him. That man who had lost everything was still giving all he had to save Sasuke. The Uchiha looked at Danzô, paralyzed by the katana, and he lowered his gaze to the vulnerable body in his arms. He didn’t want to be weak and alone anymore. He couldn't let Danzô win again, not after everything he had done to his clan. The fact that he was still living through him was a disgrace to the Uchihas. Now that he was conscious of his real state of mind, Sasuke could do something about it.

The shinobi kept his own weak self against him and smiled as he noticed Danzô’s body was slowly starting to vanish into thin air. 

“You can’t change just like that, Sasuke-kun. I’ll get you. And if I can’t kill you, you’ll be so desperate that you’ll turn against your peers again. Because that’s what Uchihas do.”

“You were so convinced that I was evil that you forgot that the ones you despise are now in charge of the village. Those ninja you thought were too weak to lead brought peace to the entire world. You are a bellicose old man who dreamed of being Hokage. You were always second. And now you’ll be forgotten because a Uchiha will kill you. Twice.”

“The seed I planted in you will never go away.”

“Like you said: I was rotten from the start. I didn’t need you to be miserable. What do you think you accomplished there? You only brought me closer to the only one I could use to destroy the entire world. The same man who could make me inoffensive.”

“So, what are you going to do now?” Danzô asked, not so sure of himself now.

“I’m going to end the Uchiha curse and make sure your wish to see Konohagakure crush other villages will die forever. Konoha will remain the home of those who are seeking peace.”

The old man vacillated for a second as he tried to find what to say. Sasuke was playing for time for his next move. He had regained his strength and his willpower. He wanted to destroy the Foundation leader with the most powerful weapon in his possession: the knowledge of being loved and cared for. Sensing he was truly in danger, Danzô tried to use the stolen Sharingans on his arms. But Sasuke wouldn’t let him dishonour his family again. He activated his own once more and as he was holding fiercely on his true self, used his dôjutsu to break the spell. It was simple but he knew that his former self, the one still inhabiting his soul, would have been unable to do without a little help. Sasuke watched as the shape of the old man flickered like a weak flame blown by a powerful wind before being swallowed by the darkness. 

At once, he blinked and the Hokage’s office fell around him. The grey-haired man was still leaning above him and holding his face like life depended on it. Sasuke lifted his eyes to meet his former sensei’s and time stopped for a couple of seconds. At least, enough for the Sharingan bearer to memorize that baffling sight. In spite of the mask covering half his face, Kakashi was transparent. Beads of tears had formed on the corner of his tired eyes as he realized Sasuke was safely back with them. The Hokage took a step back and wiped his forehead as he tried to hide his state of emotions.

Sasuke’s confused gaze followed him for a moment before feeling the brutal pull behind him. Naruto had wrapped his arms around his friend so tightly that Sasuke could barely breathe. Coiled against the blond’s chest, his body was slowly regaining its natural warmth. Around them, Shikamaru, Ino and Kakashi were speechless. Shamelessly, Naruto pulled him higher and kissed him, sharing the taste of his salted tears on his tongue. 

Sasuke answered as much as he could, his hand flying timidly on Naruto’s cheek as they got carried away by the aura of love curled up around them. Leaving his mouth bruised and wet, Naruto pressed his lips on lover’s forehead and on top of his head, tears still flooding on his round and red cheeks. The Uchiha buried his face against his chest and let the beating of his heart soothe him. He was finally home. He was finally safe. 

Inside him, Sasuke could feel the little man he had held in his arms finding his way back on his feet again. This time, he would be strong enough to stand and beat whatever would come to hinder his path to redemption and love.

In the distance, he could hear Shikamaru and Kakashi trying to analyze what had just happened. Naruto was listening wordlessly to them, too busy rocking Sasuke - now lying on his lap - and brushing his soft hair. The young man was aware his clothes were damp with sweat and his skin sticky, but he couldn’t care less. All that mattered was that the rattle had disappeared. He was free of the voice, free of the curse. He was holding Naruto’s jacket like a security blanket and his brain, tired as it was, had trouble analyzing what and who he had just defeated. His lids were heavy and Naruto’s touch was too good to let him think.

Sasuke had not realized he had fallen asleep. When he opened his eyes again, his head, his hair, his arms… everything felt heavy. His sight blurred by the weariness, it took time for the shinobi to see correctly and notice that he was in an unknown environment. The smell was odd, sterile and frightening. An aggressive white light hit his cornea and made him wince. 

“Calm down…” 

Behind hooded lids, Sasuke recognized the pink mane of his friend, leaning above him.

“You’re alright.” Sakura added with a soft voice. “I’m taking care of you.”

Now, he could feel the healing chakra flowing through his meridians. A green aura around them, Sakura was trying to make him feel better. He had not been physically injured, but his inner fight had completely drained him out of chakra. He wanted to speak, but everything was taking too much effort. He moved his head slightly just to see if there was somebody else by his side. But it seemed like they were alone. Sasuke swallowed the big lump in his throat and tried to ignore the panic of being left alone when he was still so vulnerable.

“He’s watching you on the other side of the window.” Sakura reassured him with a knowing tone. “Or should I say: he’s watching _me_ heal you. I’d never thought he would be so protective of you.”

She smiled as she moved her chakra higher on his chest. Slowly, Sasuke was feeling whole again. His lungs breathed more easily, his sight regained its efficiency and he felt like he was able to talk again.

“What happened?”

“They brought you to the hospital looking like a mess. I don’t know much besides that you were kinda… possessed. We had no time to explain. You’re lucky I was on-call tonight.”

Sasuke nodded lazily and closed his eyes again. He didn’t want to sleep, but it was too difficult to resist. Everything was spinning inside his brain and he had trouble remembering everything that had happened. He didn’t want to forget. He wanted to tell Naruto what had happened. He wanted to tell him he had fought and won, just so the Jinchuuriki could be proud of him. But his mind was too cloudy and he was fainting again. Sakura stayed silent and Sasuke didn’t even realize he had been moved until he woke up the day after in a hospital bed. The curtain was open but there was no one beside him. The room was empty.

The Uchiha stretched his limbs cautiously. He had found his strengths back but his mind was still a bit dizzy. The sun was caressing the wall behind him and he could see brown leaves dancing by the window. It had a peaceful effect on his spirit but still, it was an odd feeling to wake up alone. Right when he was about to close his eyes again, he heard a thud behind the door. A second later, the tired but surprised face of his best friend appeared in front of him.

“Sasuke! You’re awake!” He shouted as he ran to his bedside. “I was out to buy some instant ramen. I was starving but I’m so disappointed I missed it! How are you? Do you need anything?”

“It’s alright, I’ve just opened my eyes.” He answered, his voice still weak.

Naruto sighed in relief and put the ramen pot on the table before sitting cautiously on the bed, his eyes scanning Sasuke’s face. The Uchiha had just a vague idea of what had happened the night before. And judging by Naruto’s expression, it had been a pretty wild ride. The Uzumaki finally landed his hand on Sasuke’s cheek and he leaned closer to finally feel the warmth he had been longing for. Encouraged by this sign of affection, the blond bent a little to seal their lips with the greatest gentleness. 

Mellow, full and warm lips covering his, Sasuke lost himself in the softest embrace. He had been a fool for not wanting to let go of his fears for so long. In an unspoken agreement, Sasuke moved so Naruto could lay next to him, welcome him into his arms and let him rest his head against his chest. Where he belonged.

“You scared us.” The blond finally said after the ease had come back between them. “I thought you were going crazy and I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“That was true… in some way.”

“Mh… I’ve never felt so powerless. I tried everything: calling you, shaking you, punching you… sorry for that. Fortunately, Sakura fixed you.”

They both chuckled as Naruto tightened his grip and kissed the top of his head. It was nice, watching the sun setting down on the city. It was already late in the afternoon but they had all the time in the world.

“Rokudaime wants to see you when you recover. I barely understood what happened so Kakashi and Shikamaru will explain it to us.”

“I think I know. But I need their expertise to be sure.”

“Are you really free of it? The voice?”

“It’s not here anymore. I know it. I don’t feel… a weight inside me anymore. It’s like I can fully breathe again.”

Sasuke was rewarded with a smooch he was not expecting. But Naruto seemed so eager to touch him, he wasn’t going to refuse anything to him. Especially when he could finally do it without feeling guilty to be happy. The road was still very long, but at least there was nothing that could stop them now. Danzô had been wrong when he had thought that Sasuke would use Naruto to control the world. The Uzumaki could do whatever he wanted with Sasuke. He was completely at his mercy and enjoying it to the fullest. His poor understanding of the human soul had lost Danzô once again.

"I'm so proud of you." Naruto said and Sasuke melted against his lips again.

When they came back to Sasuke’s apartment, nothing had changed. But in the Uchiha’s mind, everything felt wider, less stifling. He didn’t have that stuffy feeling in his chest anymore. He could hope for better days. Transformed into a house fairy, Naruto was doing everything he could to take care of his partner, even neglecting his shinobi’s duties. 

The Uchiha was still bedridden, and it would be a lie to say he wasn’t loving being the center of the Jinchuuriki’s life. He enjoyed every kiss, every loving word, every attention he was allowed to get now. At night, when they were lying naked against each other, Sasuke couldn’t stop talking. He, who had always been so quiet, had so many things to say. As if he had liberated all kinds of words when he had broken the curse. 

Five days after he had left the hospital, Sasuke started to feel better. He could take showers by himself and stay awake for several hours without flinching. Naruto was spooning him from behind and the brunette was kissing the hand he had brought up to his face. 

“I don’t recall seeing you so soft, Sasuke.”

“Do you like it?”

“Mh… I love every aspect of your personality. But I love the fact that I don’t have to fight to feel loved.”

Sasuke smiled and turned over to face his partner. Now, he could dedicate himself to prove to Naruto he had been right to bet on him. He was going to make him so happy the Uzumaki would be sick of it. They kissed, laughed and cuddled some more. The Uchiha had not changed a bit. He was still a proud and arrogant prick. But between Naruto’s arms, he was free to be gentle and caring. Only him would know this aspect of his personality. It was a relief to finally feel like someone worth loving.

When he was finally able to stand on his feet, they both went to the Hokage’s office. Kakashi didn’t show he was happy and relieved to see him, but the atmosphere was lighter than usual. They all sat with Shikamaru in the private salon attending the office and started listing the events of that night. Sasuke learned how the villagers had reported that he had fainted and wasn’t responding to their calls. His eyes had stayed open, even though he wasn’t conscious anymore.

“You scared the shit out of them with your weird pupils. Shikamaru and Chôji found you first when they exited the barbecue place. He brought you here immediately.”

“I thought we would need the Hokage’s expertise first.” Shikamaru added with his usual jaded glance. “What were you seeing, Sasuke?”

“Shapes… of my clan. My parents… Their voices.”

“Were those the same voices you were hearing before? Naruto told me everything days ago.” Kakashi said before Sasuke could ask how he knew so much about it. “And I’m glad he did. I was able to do some research. So when they brought you here, I suspected what could cause your mental state.”

His former sensei looked disappointed and Sasuke didn’t know if it was with him but he felt guilty for causing trouble to Kakashi.

“I’m sorry, sensei.”

“It’s no use now. I just wished you’d trust me more with the important things.”

They stared at each other for awhile and Sasuke lowered his gaze. Naruto had saved him by telling Kakashi what was happening. Once more. He had to learn to trust again. This was another lesson he could not ignore.

“Sasuke.” Naruto said with a gentle and encouraging voice. “Kakashi asked if the voices were different or not.”

“No. I didn’t know the first one. It was almost… non-human. It was a curse.”

“Who did that to you?” Naruto spat out in anger, his fists clenching on the table.

“Danzô.” Kakashi and Sasuke revealed in unison.

The shinobi and his former teacher observed each other again before nodding with a knowing look. Both of them had to deal with the master of the Foundation before, they knew how evil he was. Kakashi had been an Anbu member and he had seen what Danzô had been capable of. Sasuke’s family had paid the price for Danzô’s greed and the young shinobi had killed him with his own hands. Or he had thought.

“Danzô gave me a last gift before I destroyed him after the Kage’s council. He wanted the Uchiha clan gone. As he couldn’t kill me himself, he used the many Sharingans he had stolen from my family to insert a little bit of his chakra inside me and possess me.”

“It’s a clever move. But why didn’t you feel it?” Shikamaru asked, his head tilting to the side. “And why would he wait until now to send his most fatal attack?”

“I guess it was because he took his time. He only appeared in my mind months after the war. As if he was waiting for the right moment to strike. And… with Naruto around all the time, it became more and more complicated for him to strike. He hit me when I least expected it.”

“That snake.” Kakashi spat out without holding his hate. “I’m not a fan of your former methods, Sasuke. But it’s a good thing that man isn’t able to rule Konoha in the shadows.”

Next to him, Naruto nodded. Sasuke observed his face: jaw tense, brows low and lips pressed together. The Uzumaki looked like he was up for a fight, as if Danzô could suddenly arise to attack his lover again. _His_ feral fox monster. Inside, the Uchiha smiled and softly brushed his boyfriend's lower back with his thumb. He felt the chills covering Naruto’s skin as he squirmed on his seat.

“But… It was all my fault.” Sasuke finally said. “I was too weak to fight my own flaws. He took advantage of me.”

“You couldn’t know!” Naruto protested.

“Yes. I could. I chose to turn my back on you, on my friends, on the village again. I chose to be alone when I should have done something to… to heal. I thought I was better than anybody else. I was wrong. Again and again.”

Kakashi sighed and sat back. Next to him, Shikamaru was silent, as if he knew it wasn’t his place to judge. But the three men surrounding Sasuke welcomed his confession with empathy.

“You learned from your mistakes again, Sasuke. This time, you fought hard so no one would be hurt but you. I’m confident to say that you are one of the strongest shinobi I know.” Kakashi finally said with his usual composed voice. He was looking deep inside his former's student soul and Sasuke felt naked under his gaze.

“But without you I-”

“Like you said: you learned that you needed companions.” Kakashi smiled with his eyes. "I'm sure you won't do the same mistake again. And it brought you back to the village. This is better than anything."

“Sensei, how did you know what was the right thing to do?” The blond asked with a genuinely curious look.

“I had no idea it would work but it seemed like Sasuke was hallucinating. The only thing that can provoke such a state with a shinobi so strong is a powerful Genjutsu even him could not detect. When you told me he was hearing voices, I thought that Itachi could have left him another present… but his brother wouldn’t want to hurt Sasuke. I don’t have a Sharingan anymore so I couldn’t help him. And we don’t know anyone who can do that either since Sasuke is the last Uchiha.”

“It was a question of logic that the evil gnawing you from the inside could only be defeated with your skilled eyes, Sasuke.” Shikamaru summarized.

"Besides, as Sasuke said, Danzô fed from his inner sadness. That's why you never doubted that you were under some spell." Kakashi added while looking at the Uchiha.

Naruto seemed confused but he nodded anyway. 

“Does it mean Sasuke is free now?” He asked.

“We got to keep an eye on him, but I believe he’s good.”

The Uzumaki spun with a smile splitting his face in two. Sasuke felt like a child whose mom was asking the doctor if he could go outside and play with the other kids now that he didn’t have the pox anymore. When Kakashi finally released them, they took a stroll around the village and enjoyed the fresh air of that sunny winter day. They stopped in front of the lake and got carried away by the beautiful scenery. Brown leaves were dancing in the wind and falling in the water rendered orange with the sunset lights. Naruto opened his backpack, took out a scarf and wrapped it around Sasuke's neck. The Uchiha watched him do it, his lips curling up in a shy smile. He could get use to be cherished like that. Feeling observed, the Uzumaki blushed and looked away. It was one of those rare moments when Naruto would realize he was acting like a true boyfriend. It was exactly what had saved Sasuke.

"You know... just because Kakashi-sensei says you're okay doesn't mean you have to pretend everything is fine." Naruto softly said while picking a daisy at their feet.

"I know. I'm not confident enough to say I won't ever be sad anymore but I'll be okay. As long as you're here."

"Are you saying this to flatter me?" The blond tilted his head to the side.

"No. You know it's not my type to do something just to please you. You have no idea how much I need you, don't you?"

"I guess, you need me to not feel alone." Naruto answered with hope in his voice, his eyes looking anywhere but on Sasuke.

"I need you like... I need air. There's no me if you're not here. There's no point of living if you're not around."

Naruto chuckled stupidly as redness covered his entire face and his eyes turned glassy with emotion. Sasuke was able to voice what he was feeling now. It was a nice change but the Uzumaki wasn't prepared to be surrounded with so much tenderness. To match his word, the black-haired boy took his boyfriend's hand and started to walk to their next adventure. In a way, it was kind of true. Sasuke and Naruto had plans for the future.

And that future came earlier than he thought. As Kakashi had released them from their shinobi duties for a year, they had prepared to leave the village and look for Naruto’s heritage. After putting all of their stuff in order, they closed the door to his apartment and started to walk toward the big gates at the entrance of the city. With their shinobi gears on their backs, Naruto had put on his orange tracksuit and Sasuke had invested in a black and purple outfit. They weren’t leaving the village as ninja from Konoha but as free men, finally able to embrace the peace they had so hardly fought for. 

They could see the green gates from afar but Naruto took an unexpected turn. Sasuke knew pertinently that his boyfriend couldn’t get lost in Konoha. So, he followed him in silence until he understood where the Uzumaki was leading them. This part of town was still under construction after so many wars and it was so far from the center that no one was paying attention to it. On the other side of the street was the old entrance of the Uchiha’s compound.

Naruto stopped into a little shop as Sasuke was waiting outside. When he came out, the Uzumaki was holding a flower bouquet made of sweet peas, bluebells and white chrysanthemum. He took Sasuke’s hand and they walked together until they crossed the gates, climbing above the rocks obstructing the entrance. The place was silent, just like when Sasuke had come the last time. But that day, he felt at peace with it. 

It was the first time Naruto was visiting the former home of the Uchihas. Sasuke observed him as he was scrutinizing every single detail with wide eyes and his adorable mouth opened like a child. Naturally, they walked to Sasuke’s old house and sat on the bench nearby. The sun was timidly peeking through the clouds and a cold breeze ran through the quiet street. They stayed silent for a couple of minutes before Sasuke voluntarily leaned on Naruto and laid his head on his shoulder. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” He whispered so low it sounded like a breeze.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Naruto wrapped his arm around Sasuke and kissed his forehead. He had never thought coming here with him could be so soothing. It was like finally getting closure on something that had been haunting him for fifteen years. Finally, Naruto stood and kneeled under the Uchiha’s symbol Itachi had broken with a kunai. Sasuke watched him lay the flower bouquet against the old and dirty wall. It was a sight he thought would never happen. And yet, Naruto, the receptacle of Kyuubi, was paying his respect to the clan that had started everything.

Moved, Sasuke kneeled next to him and watched his profile. His eyes were closed, as if he was praying. The black-haired boy joined him and sent his thoughts of love and respect to his clan. His last attention went to his brother whom he knew was looking at him, wherever he was. Itachi was the eternal Hokage, the real protector in the shadows. Naruto and Sasuke were the only ones fully aware of the story, and they would be forever grateful for his sacrifice.

They left the compound with a last goodbye and finally crossed the green gates. It was still early and they had a long journey ahead of them to find the ruins of the Uzumakis’ lost village. Feeling like nothing could ever stop him, Sasuke took Naruto’s hand and tangled their fingers together. Walking alone in the woods with him by his side, Sasuke realized that for the first time in his short but dense life, there was no danger lurking in the shadows. It was just the two of them and the eternity to build a fulfilling and happy life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys had a blast.  
> I still got some comments to answer and don't worry: I'll do it!  
> This fic makes me want to write a prologue and I'll probably do it so stay tuned, you never know when I might update it.
> 
> I'm already writing another sasunaru story. The next one will be shorter but they inspire me so much I'm gonna keep writing about them. I hope to see you there next time. I'm very curious to know if you have any wishes. I'm always looking for interesting stories. You can hit me up on twitter: @apfelths.  
> Anyway, thank you again to all of you, this was a wild ride and I loved sharing it with you guys!!
> 
> xxx


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